Follow-up: A Naked Opportunity

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Recently I wrote about an opportunity that had fallen into my lap (read previous post HERE) and how I was considering the freedom it would allow me to explore any interest I might have in social nudity.

After seeing the flat and meeting the landlord I was willing to give it a go, regardless of any insecurities or discomfort I could see myself having while living in this situation.  A couple mates of mine had helped me work up the courage to just go for it and just try something new.

About a week or so after seeing the place and expressing my interest, I got a message from the guy that was moving out – I’d previously met him a couple of times the year before for drinks, but had never met up again after that despite talking about it.

I agreed to meet up with him for a coffee because he said there were things I needed to know about the landlord before deciding if I wanted to move in there..

A small part of me thought he might be using this as an excuse to meet up (we’d kissed and fooled around a bit previously..), but deep down I knew it was because he wanted to tell me all the bad things about the flat and landlord.

fuckable bearBoy was I right…

We met up at London Euston station for a coffee.. and for almost 2 hours he told me how bad it was living there, about the drinking/drug use, and how the landlord really couldn’t be trusted.

In fact he said the landlord had told him I hadn’t said I was interested in moving in, which was a total lie.. though unsure on who’s part.

Like anyone I took everything he said with a grain of salt, as I’m sure some of it must have been exaggerated based on his point of view (always two sides to every story).  Plus if it had been that bad living there, why the hell had he lived there for just over 2 years?

Even if only a tenth of what he told me was true, it definitely didn’t paint the place in a positive light, and with the reservations I’d already had it easily tipped me over into the ‘not interested’ category.

Then again I don’t think the landlord was all that interested in me moving in anyway, as I didn’t hear anything back from him for about a month after seeing the place.  He’d ended up having a ‘couch-surfer’ move in, but then the guy suddenly left last week after losing his job.

Which was when the landlord messaged me again.. But this time I told him I wasn’t interested at this time as I needed to sort other things out before I thought about moving.  I still haven’t moved or found a new place, but that’s ok as I’m going to concentrate on finding a new job first (a subject for another day..).

CheekyLooking back on it now though, I think because I wasn’t completely gung-ho about living in a full-on naturalist environment (he wanted it to be a house rule that you had to be naked.. and so did any guests you had over), there might have been problems down the road.

I’m still intrigued by the idea, but only if it was a ‘naked if you want to be’ sort of situation.

And with that guy’s warnings going through my head, I think things would have ended in a self-fulfilling disaster leaving me having to move once more.

As much as I dislike where I’m living, it is quiet and I have my own space (even if I don’t get to use the rest of the flat at all).  The plan for now is to make the best of the situation I’m in until something truly worthwhile comes along to push me into action.

Only time will tell…

What’s a Date Again…

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I sometimes wonder if we as gay men have completely forgotten what it’s like to actually date.

You know, meeting for coffee, a meal, a movie, or whatever as a way to get to know someone new.  To see if there’s some kind of connection between you, and to see if maybe there’s a possibility of seeing each again.  Before jumping into bed together.

You know, things we USED to do to meet new guys.

But now it seems all anyone wants to do is hook up and play casually first as a way to see if there’s some connection there.. and then maybe see if you’re compatible emotionally or intellectually. Or however you gauge a potential mate.

Doesn’t it seem like we’ve turned things upside down?  Especially with the increasing use of online apps that basically take all the mystery away – gawd forbid you not send at least half a dozen naked shots upon saying hello.  LOL

Maybe it’s the old naive romantic in me that wishes things were like they used to.  I’ve always preferred to meet for a drink and a chat to get to know someone before even considering anything sexual.

But when I do suggest doing just that nowadays? Well, I must be crazy to even consider the idea!

2014-07-15-TCdatingOr I get accused of being a prude because I won’t immediately jump into bed with each headless profile that opens a conversation with a ‘hey’ and several close-up shots of their junk.

And you know what? I don’t care. I’m not going to change how I want to meet people just to satisfy someone else’s need to have loads of anonymous sex. I enjoy sex, but it’s not how I want to first meet people.. well, at least not usually. ;-)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being judgemental of any of those people who just have sex for the sake of having sex.  I’ve been there, done that.  I’ve just found that right now, that isn’t for me.

I don’t care what someone looks like naked before I agree to meet with them.  I don’t care how big their dick is, or how hairy their chest is, or even if they shave their balls or not.

I want to know the person behind the perfectly posed selfie they’ve chosen for a profile picture.  I want to know what makes them unique and special.  I want to have a conversation with someone that lasts more than a couple messages before agreeing to meet them.  I want to know what their interests are, and I don’t mean what they’re into in the bedroom either.

Interestingly I’d started this post back on Friday thinking maybe I needed to change my mentality when it comes to meeting new guys…

.. But then I had a date!  An honest to goodness actual date, where we met up at a coffee shop in Greenwich before heading over to a pub along the river.  It was nice that there didn’t seem to be any pressure to immediately jump into the sack, but instead it was all about getting to know each other.

holding-handsWas there an attraction between us?  Absolutely although he’s much too young for me (only 26!), but there was some mutual flirting throughout the evening.  In fact after we left the pub, he held my hand while we walked down the street to the bus stop.

Ahhhh… how sweet. :-)

And for the kiss goodbye? It was a quick, chaste peck on the lips.. though we both admitted to each other later online that we’d both wanted a proper kiss. LOL

We’ve talked about meeting up again soon (he’d suggested today but remembered he’d already made plans with his flatmate), and I’m sure there’ll be some kissing involved this time..

All in all it was a lovely evening meeting someone new that brightened up my day.  Regardless whether it’s just a flirtation or not.

Alone in a Crowd

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Sometimes I think I’m my own worse enemy when it comes to my social life.  I regularly complain that side of life is lacking, but rarely do I seem to do anything to change it.

In fact, I generally spend most weekends at home alone watching Netflix, when I’d really like to be out with people I like and maybe actually enjoying myself.

But when the rare opportunity does present itself, it’s almost like I sabotage myself.

Last Friday evening I was invited to 2 separate birthday parties – one for my Italian mate M, and the other for the partner of a guy I used to play with years ago.  Luckily they weren’t being held at the same time, so I was able to make both parties.

First up was my mate’s party at his Central London flat, where it was pretty chill with just a few people, a couple drinks, and some home-made chilli.  It was a nice low key celebration and it was great to just hang out and chat.

Once they were ready to leave (him and his partner were going to their place in Essex for the weekend), I headed down to Vauxhall to the other celebration at RVT, where it was the Hot Fuzz club night.  I’d been a couple times before ages ago, but hadn’t expected it to be so busy…

Unfortunately the group celebrating the second birthday didn’t show up at the club until almost 1am, by which time I’d been there close to 2 hours by myself, not really knowing anyone well enough to hangout with.

nightclubBecause it so damn busy there and there barely any room to move, all I got from the couple mates there within that group was a wave or smile across the crowd, and then I didn’t really see them again as they disappeared into the crowd with their friends.

I don’t know why, but because these mates didn’t physically say hi to me, it kinda upset me.  And because I didn’t know the other guys there that well, I found myself feeling more and more alone while standing in the middle of a packed nightclub.

Maybe I was expecting too much..

Or maybe I should have made more of an effort to find them in the crowd.  Find them instead of waiting for them to find me, and maybe join their group to enjoy the night.

But I didn’t.

Instead I got more and more frustrated that nobody was making an effort to interact with me (not that I could hear a thing in the club…), and I’d worked myself into such a state that I knew if I stayed, I wouldn’t have a good time.

So I left without saying goodbye to anyone.. not that it seemed anyone noticed I left.

The next day I message my mates about it, and it was interesting the different reactions from them – one was super apologetic and felt really bad about it all; the other seemed to try and blame me for not making more of an effort to find him.

But it’s made me wonder if I truly fit into that group of people.  They’re friendly to me when they see me, but it’s not like I’m generally invited out with them (the birthday invitation was a surprise really).

And on the very rare occasion when I am included, it’s usually by the same one or two people.

People Make TimeI do think it’s funny though, considering this situation.. the one who was super apologetic is always telling me I need to get out more, to be more social.

But when I actually make the effort, he’s off with his friends, seemingly ignoring me (which he ‘says’ he didn’t mean to do).

I do find it hard to ‘fit in’ with these people as they’re all so super social, something I’m not.  I had hoped by hanging out with them that it would bring me out of my shell more, but instead it’s caused me to retreat into it more a bit.

Or maybe I just need to put my own needs and ego aside, and just go with the flow.  Guess we’ll see what happened the next time I get invited to something.

If I get invited that is..

There Once Was A Blogger….

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There once was a blogger who went under the simple moniker of ‘M’. 

He started a blog over six years ago as a way to keep friends and family back home abreast of his adventures after moving across the ocean.

He initially wrote about the excitement and nervousness of this move, and how he was assimilating into the new culture and his new (& much bigger) city.

Then over time his writing changed. 

He started writing about all sorts of things – some mundane, others exotic, sometimes political, and some down right eye-openingly explorative into the natural world around him.

He documented many ups and downs over the years, and didn’t even shy away from discussing the truly dark periods he battled through.

But through it all (and even through occasional breaks), he always appreciated the love, support, and camaraderie he found through his fellow bloggers and regular readers.

It is this that’s kept him going and continue to write, even when he didn’t feel like it. Or at least to pop on, make a few comments or ‘like’ other’s posts, sending others messages of love and bear hugs.

Or even at least to drop in and write some cheesy, soppy, third-person narrative about his blog so everyone reading knew he was still here.😉

He wants everyone to remember that he’s still living life as it comes, and still partially writing a couple posts in his head daily… Even if they never make it to the digital page.

He’ll be back in full force real soon (fingers crossed) with all new tales of life in the big city, dating, flat-hunting, or anything else that he feels he wants to talk about.

And that he’s DESPERATE for the warm weather to truly start in his part of the world. 

He needs a tan dammit! LOL

Hugs and kisses,

~M~

20 Things You Must Accept If You Want Your Relationship To Succeed

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  1. Accept the things you cannot change.
  2. Accept that you cannot fix your partner.
  3. Accept that your partner is not perfect.
  4. Accept that not everyone will behave as you do.
  5. Accept that just because they don’t behave like you, it doesn’t make them wrong.
  6. Accept their flaws.
  7. Accept love as they are able to give it to you.
  8. Accept that you love them.
  9. Accept that we all experience things (including love) differently.
  10. Accept that sometimes they can be a bit of a mess.
  11. Accept the mess in the sink.
  12. Accept that they are human and will make mistakes.
  13. Accept their apology.
  14. Accept your differences.
  15. Accept that everyone has a past.
  16. Accept that they cannot read your mind.
  17. Accept that they can’t live up to an expectation you don’t communicate.
  18. Accept that you are not always right.
  19. Accept that there will be good and bad times.
  20. Accept them.

As seen in the article here : http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7139644?utm_campaign=naytev&utm_content=553fc9f0e4b0d907240ac3a1

7 Ways to Clear Your Mind of Negative Thoughts

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Like anyone, I have a very bad habit of thinking negatively about myself and my life in general.  It’s one of those things where you don’t realise you’re doing it until it’s too late, and those bad thoughts have already set root in your mind.

These thoughts tend to linger and it’s difficult to stop thinking about them.  And trying to resist them could potentially reinforce that thought pattern to the point where it makes it worse.

Like anything, the more you try to not think about something, the more you actually linger on it.  At least it seems that way for me.

So how do we change this negative pattern?  It’s not easy, but here are a few things to try.

Change your body language

foldedarmsGot a frown permanently etched on your face?  Are you slouching or just shuffling along as you walk down the street?  Maybe these are signs you’ve got some negativity bouncing around that noggin of yours.

How you present yourself not only projects a more positive outlook to others, but it can also improve your confidence and overall emotional state.

And the more you project that positivity out into the world, the more likely you’ll receive it back from others and the better you’ll feel about yourself.

Talk it out

Let’s be honest – the more you hold things in, the worse you’ll end up feeling about it.  However if you put into words what you’re feeling, you’re more likely to be able to work through your thoughts and feelings to find a possible resolution for what’s going on at that moment.

Allow yourself to put things into perspective through an honest and open discussion with someone you can talk to.  Their point of view may help you look at things in a different light and come at whatever is bothering your from a different angle.

Calm your mind

When your brain is running at a million miles a minute, it makes it extremely difficult to keep up and even harder to control the negative thoughts in your head.

So slow it down before tackling the issues at hand.  Empty your mind of the negativity, meditate if necessary, and reboot your thoughts to allow in the positivity that will move you past where you are at that moment.

Change the tone of your thoughts

It may sound simplistic, but by wording things in a more positive manner, it can help change your perspective.  Your point of view of things around you is bound to impact how you react to things, so try a positive spin instead.

Instead of telling yourself ‘Life is shit right now’, try instead ‘I’m feeling challenged at the moment, but am working towards a solution’.  It’s basically the same thing, but sometimes that shift in tone can do wonders for your perspective.

Opposite-Positive-ThinkingBe creative

When you’re feeling those negative thoughts come on, why not spend some time doing something creative?  You don’t have to be creating a masterpiece landscape or writing that epic novel, but just the act of being creative in some way can be very cathartic and help you move past the negativity.

For instance, if you’re into writing (like on a blog perhaps lol), get the words out on paper and write your way through the negativity.  It’ll help you work through whatever you’re thinking while giving you a bit of self-therapy to lift up your mood.

It basically helps clear the cobweb-like negative thoughts from your head.

Take a walk

Negative thinking isn’t just about what’s going on in your head, but it can also be due to the environment around you.  For instance, if you’re unhappy at home but you never leave the house, you’ll never be able to get away from the negativity itself.

Get your butt off the couch and go for a walk.  Or go to a park to relax amongst nature.  Or go check out a neighbourhood you’ve never been to before.  Whatever works for you to help clear your head and get yourself away from the negative spiral you’d surrounded yourself with.

And hopefully it’ll allow you to gain some perspective on things so when you do go home you’ll do so with a more positive outlook on things.

Be grateful for what you have in life

Sometimes it’s too easy to focus on what you don’t have instead of what you do have.  It’s way to easy to lose perspective on your life and focus on the negativity.

be gratefulEasier said than done, you need to retrain your brain and thoughts to look at the good things going on around you instead of the bad.  So why not take a few moments to list off those things you’re grateful for in your life?

Sometimes the best things happening to us are right in front of our faces and we still fail to see them.

So open up your eyes and see the positivity around you and enjoy it.

This post was inspired by the article –>> 7 Ways to Clear Your Mind of Negative Thoughts – Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

A Naked Opportunity

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As I think I’ve posted previously, I’m not all that happy with my current living situation. Oh who am I kidding, I’m out right hating it at the moment.

It’s not so much one specific thing that’s brought me to this point, but more a variety of things..

Firstly, it’s waaaaaaaay too far away from central London, my friends and work.  It takes a good hour at least to get anywhere… And if I want to visit my friends living in SW London, then I have to travel through Zone 1 (Central London)  and pay extra for each trip.

Which brings me to the second main reason – money. For something that was supposed to be kinda cheap, I’m finding I’m paying more per month than I have in years for rent, bills and transport.. And I can’t afford that.

And thirdly, I’m not comfortable here at all. The landlord has created an environment (which I maybe fed into a bit) where I don’t feel welcome in the rest of the flat. He spents all his free time in the lounge with the door closed, so it makes me feel like I’d be intruding into his space… So instead I spend all my time in my bedroom, including when I’m eating meals.

And speaking of food, I’ve never met anyone who monopolises the kitchen so much. It seems he takes ages to cook his dinner every night. So there are times where I only get a small window to put something together, and I’ve fallen into the bad habit of basically eating ready-meals most days, or a quick pre-made salad that I can just open up.

I’ve basically stopped cooking, and that’s not healthy.

So I’ve been looking around a bit, although I haven’t given my notice as yet, and found an intruguing opportunity through a social website a mate introduced me to a few months back – NakedMates.co.uk.

Since signing up for the website, I’ve yet to attend any of the parties or social events, and have only met someone once to hang out naked (HON is the term the site uses) with a local guy I never heard from again (think he was disappointed I didn’t grasp the opportunity when he got visibly horny hehe).

Well a few weeks back I saw a posting on the site’s forums stating one of the members had a room to rent, so I checked out his ad – a good £100 cheaper per month, was a super nice flat in a relatively new building and was only about 20 minutes walk to work!

Loads of positives to me.. But the one thing that’s given me a bit of hesitation is that he’s specifically looking for another naturalist to move in, or at least someone comfortable with nudity around the flat.

Well. Nothing ventured nothing gained I suppose, so I messaged him to show my interest and viewed the place this past Tuesday.

I admit I was a bit afraid he’d make me get naked to view the place… and was slightly disappointed that he didn’t. Lol

IMG_0310Despite the three flights of stairs (top floor), I really liked the place – bright, small but not overly cluttered, lots of storage, with a little balcony off the lounge that has light bamboo covering so nobody can really see into the flat or the balcony itself.

Hmm, I wonder why? Haha

Of course the conversation eventually lead to the naturalism aspect, and he stated he’d like to create what he called ‘Plan A’ – house rule would be full on naturalism at home all the time, even for guests coming over. ‘Plan B’ would be more of a ‘naked if you want to’ approach.

Now as someone who’s drawn to the idea of ‘Plan A’ but hesitant at the same time, I wonder if I could truly live in a completely naturalist environment, or if my own insecurities would get the better of me and I’d eventually become resentful of the house rule.

mW2us1dJ-M-x9tHixXtCfGgOr is it more that I’m afraid to just let myself go and release my inner naturalist once and for all?

I’ve talked it over with a couple of mates, and I’ve decided to just go for it. Not many people can say they’ve had the opportunity to just live so freely physically.

And maybe that situation would go a long way to helping me truly getting past my own body issues and insecurities.

Now just have to wait to see if he offers me the room… I messaged him a day or so later that I’m interested, and willing to try ‘Plan A’ if that’s what’s agreed to.

The Nether – Duke of York Theatre

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I love the theatre, I always have.  I love the idea of sitting in the dark watching a story unfold before my eyes on the stage.

This love of live plays and musicals stems from my time in high school, where I got opportunities to get up on stage myself in a couple school productions, though I never got any big parts.

One of the things London is known for around the world is it’s West End, where many productions (both big and small) come to make their mark.  I’ve seen a few shows over the years, but it hasn’t been as frequent as I’d like.

londen-west-endWell Friday night I got a last minute invitation from my Italian chaser ‘friend’ (I’ve come to the conclusion that we’re just friends with benefits.. I think).  He was given a couple free tickets to a play at the Duke of York Theatre, and he needed someone to join him.

Basically, I think I just got lucky.  He was looking around to find someone to join him just as I’d messaged asking how his weekend was going.  I’m guessing he’d asked others first (I didn’t ask really..), but who cares – it was a free ticket to a play and I hadn’t been to the theatre in a very long time.

Ok yeah.. I had the extra benefit of spending some time with him, even if it was just a night at the theatre.  Double win I suppose.  LOL

The play itself is called ‘The Nether’, and I’d never heard of it before last night.  Here’s the official description from the website:

The Nether offers complete freedom – a new virtual wonderland providing total sensory immersion. Just log in, choose an identity and indulge your every desire.

An intricate crime drama and a haunting thriller set in the year 2050, The Nether follows an investigation into the complicated, disturbing morality of identity in the digital world, and explores the consequences of making dreams a reality.

Obviously I don’t want to give too much away in case anyone gets a chance to see it – and I do recommend going if you can – but this play definitely makes you think about the complexities of where our virtual and online lives are going in the future, and how that could raise ideas of morality from our actions.

Basically in this play, there’s a virtual world called ‘The Nether’ where you can log in to be anybody you want to be, and to do anything you like.  The play surrounds itself around how actions in the virtual world could affect real life, and whether certain actions there could be considered immoral in the real world.

Visually, the play seemingly looks quite basic and stark at first – just a simple looking table with two chairs in the middle of the stage with a dark backdrop.  But then once it gets started, there are a variety of virtual images projected against the backdrop, some of which look like live feeds of the action on the stage.

The Nether PosterThen just when you think this is all the play is going to give you visually, they cut to a scene in the virtual world.. which is played out inside the backdrop wall – a screen lifts and there’s a stage within the wall itself set above the table on the stage.  This allows the play to portray two contrasting worlds within the same space, and was done exceptionally well.

All in all, I found the play to be engaging, albeit somewhat short (just over an hour in total), and disturbingly thought provoking.  It’s well acted, well presented, and overall an excellent production.

If you get a chance to see this Olivier Award nominated production (Best New Play) before it closes later this month, or if it comes to a theatre near you, I highly recommend going to see it.

‘The Nether’ runs until April 25th 2015 at The Duke of York Theatre, London.  For tickets or show times, go to http://thenethertheplay.co.uk for more details.

Another Year, Another Liebster Award

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It’s definitely that time of year again in the blogging world, when the not-so-elusive ‘Liebster Award’ nominations are spread around the blog-o-sphere.

Or at least it always seems to be around this time of year.  Last year was early February when I posted about my nomination for it, and April the year before.  This is the third year I’ve been nominated, though some years I have gotten multiple nominations.

This year the nomination came from Vinnieh over at his self-named blog, and I’m super grateful for it.  The whole point is to give recognition to those bloggers you enjoy reading and do a bit of cross-promotion at the same time.

Now on to answer the questions Vinnieh has set upon me:


Do you prefer watching films in the cinema or at home?

  • It depends really.. I used to go to the cinema a lot, but then couldn’t afford it anymore.  With the advent of Netflix and such, I tend to spend much more time at home watching movies.

Do you have any tattoos?

  • Not as yet.. I’ve always wanted one, but could never settle on a design.  I’ve had something in mind for a year or so now, just trying to get up the courage (and funding) to make it a reality.

What is your favourite sport?

  • Not really much of a sports fan, though do enjoy going bowling.  That counts right?

Who is your man crush or woman crush?

  • Well I’ve already discussed my current man-crush on a recent posting.. go read it. ;)

How good are you at keeping secrets?

  • I’d like to think I’m pretty good at it.  Why.. is there something you’re dying to tell me??

What movie do you love that everyone else seems to hate?

  • ‘Hackers’ starring the young Angelina Jolie and Johnny Lee Miller.  Most say it’s cheesy or lame how they make hacking seem cool, but I love the feel of it, and the soundtrack is outstanding.

What do you enjoy the most about blogging?

  • So many different things… The thrill of getting my written word out there for the world to see.  The satisfaction when people enjoy what I’ve written.  Being able to interact and start a dialogue about certain topics, even if it is my own love life.  LOL

What is your star sign?

  • I’m a Cancer, and tend to embody most of the main characteristics.

How many languages can you speak?

  • One and a bit.. English (obviously), and a little bit of French – I grew up in Canada, so we had to take French in school, and then I lived in Montreal for many years.

What is your most valuable belonging?

  • It may seem superficial, but I’d have to say my Kindle.  I don’t generally go anywhere without it, as I’ve always got a book on the go.  It helps me engage my imagination while exploring other fantastical worlds.

Describe yourself in five words.

  • Introvert, Loving, Confused, Naive, Loner.

Phew.. now onto my nominations, listed in no particular order:

  1. Confessions Of A Wallflower
  2. COCKTAILS & COCKTALK
  3. Things I Like… And Then Run
  4. Peter Monn
  5. A Life In London*
  6. KiltManinSoCal
  7. Lindaghill
  8. The Guyliner
  9. Flights, Tights, And Movie Nights
  10. A Guy Without Boxers
  11. Ivansblogworld’s

Definitely not an exhaustive list in any way at all, but can’t nominate everyone I suppose.

And here are my questions for my nominees…

  1. What’s your writing ritual?
  2. What guilty pleasure can you not go without?
  3. Have you ever had anything pierced other than your ears, and what was it?
  4. What’s your favourite place in the world?
  5. Have you ever lived in a different country from where you were born/raised?
  6. What’s the worst holiday you’ve ever been on?
  7. Boxers or Briefs?  Or ‘au naturel’?
  8. Apple or Android?
  9. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
  10. What’s the one regret you have in life?
  11. Describe yourself in five words.

And that’s the lot of it! Check out all of the nominated blogs, and happy Liebster Award season. ;-)

Things to do While Waiting for ‘Mr Right’

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It’s not easy being single these days.

It’s lonely, can lead to feelings of jealousy for those who’ve found someone, and in extreme circumstances, can lead to depression for some.

Most of this is due to the negative thoughts and ideas running around our heads as to why we’re still single, while it seems like everyone else around us are happily paired up.

Instead of sitting around waiting for that elusive ‘Mr Right’ (or ‘Ms Right’, depending on what you’re looking for lol), get out there and enjoy your life.  Cut the negative thoughts, get happy and start loving yourself and your single freedom.

Here’s a few things to do while you’re still single..

Start living in the now

Instead of daydreaming about your perfect partner and wasting your time wondering when they’ll show up, why not think about yourself?  Take stock of where you are in your life and where you want to go in the future.

man on beachWhat goals do you want to achieve over the next year or so?  Have you planned your next holiday?  Are there any old or distant friends you’d like to visit? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance or the nerve to do so?

Being single means you can plan and do anything you want.  The world is out there waiting for you.  Why not get out there and enjoy it.

Love yourself

You are the one and only version of you that there will ever be in the world.  Your uniqueness and originality are part of who you are and everything you’ve achieved in your life.  Nobody else can make you feel as whole of a person as you already are, so why don’t you go ahead and love yourself?

There is nobody else out there in the world who can make you feel whole, or give you anything that you don’t already have in your life to lead a full, happy and fulfilling life.  Love who you are as a person, and what you contribute to the world around you.  Nobody else can give you that validation any better than you can yourself.

Love your freedom

They say that the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you’ll have with yourself.  When you’re single, you have the opportunity to do things for yourself that sometimes a partner wouldn’t be able to.  Be a bit selfish and treat yourself to something special. Enjoy this time to take care of yourself and do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

Stop the negative reinforcements

Self attackWhen we’re feeling down or lonely, it’s all to easy to start criticising ourselves in a negative fashion.  It could be calling ourselves names because we didn’t react well to something, or telling ourselves that there must be something wrong with us because we’re single or alone.

If you continue to do that, then you’re increasing the chances of making those negative thoughts become a reality as we attract what we put out in the world.  Change the tone and feeling, and you’ll improve your chances.

Don’t neglect your friends and family

Never forget how precious your friends and family are, because once you do find someone amazing to date, you may not have as much time to spend with them.  Instead take this time to plan things or organise a trip together.  Those closest to you are the foundation of your social life, so never take them for granted or let them fall by the wayside.

Try something new

We all say we need to get out of our ruts and try something different.  So, what are you waiting for?  This is the perfect opportunity to get out there and do those things you’ve always wanted to do but never could.  Life is all about building memories from the experiences in our lives, so go make some good ones.

Work towards some big goal

We all have goals in life, or at least dreams of goals we’d like to achieve.  So what’s holding you back from achieving them?  Maybe you’ve always wanted to publish a novel, or learn new language, or try your hand at the guitar, or take an interesting course to change careers, or anything else you can imagine yourself doing.

Write out the goal and set yourself a plan of action.. and then do a little bit of it every day.  Six months to a year from now, you never know where that little bit of extra will take you.

Be patient

Pretty much everyone out there (including you) has a story or two of the losers they’ve dated before they met someone special.  That’s because this whole dating game is a process, and there’s no way to bypass it.

single statusWe have to go through it to learn more about ourselves and possibly go through some heartaches or date a few weirdos in order to get to where we need to be to meet that special someone.

Be patient and allow yourself to go through the process.  It’ll be worth it in the end.

This post has been inspired by the article – The Number One Reason You’re Still Single on LifeHack.org.