I’m Feeling Stressed…

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I hate feeling stressed.  It’s an awful feeling and it makes me want to do things I know I shouldn’t – like go off my diet or start smoking again. Neither of which I want to do.

But somethings lately have just been bugging me, and I wish I could exorcise these feelings and get back to working towards a more positive and healthy ‘me’.

Part of all this could be the ‘post-holiday blues’.. since I returned from Gran Canaria a few weeks ago, I’ve been feeling quite ‘blah’ and the typically grey UK weather hasn’t helped any either.

I swear my tan faded the moment I stepped off the plane.  LOL

Not to mention my diet seems to have stalled a bit since I returned.  I seem to eat fairly healthy throughout the day, but once I get home it’s like I have no will power.. and that’s with me rarely buying anything snack-like.

But it’s not like I don’t already have a weekend to Madrid planned in a couple week’s time.  Plus I’m considering going to Naples and Pompeii in early July as a late birthday trip… so I don’t think it’s that.

Perhaps it’s the impending visit from my landlord next weekend and that he’s staying at the flat for about a month – he lives in Belgium but occasionally has to come to London for work so he’s kept a bedroom for himself.

He’s not a bad guy but I don’t feel completely relaxed or comfortable having people over when he’s there.  He knows I’m gay and has said he doesn’t care if I have someone over, but it’s a comfort thing.

But to be honest, him visiting is more of an inconvenience than anything.. and just means I need to make sure I’m wearing clothes when I leave my bedroom.  LOL

Ok… Let’s just face the elephant in the room and address the true source of my current stress load – it’s work.  It was slightly stressful before my holidays and it’s just gotten worse since.

Basically, it was decided last year to bring in a new computer system for our division, and my colleague was jointly tasked with assisting the developers to build it so it was ‘fit for purpose’.  I wasn’t assigned the task at the time as I was expected to be on holidays during the original launch period (end of June 2016).

But since she’s not a technical person and isn’t that good with implementing processes, things kind of went to shit.  Especially as she spent most of her time flirting with the programmer when he’d visit our offices to work on the program together.

Anyway, things kept getting pushed farther and farther back until finally it was realised that what had been build was absolute crap, and it had to start almost from scratch again… so the project was reassigned to someone at the other office and she gotten things done.

And then suddenly things for our part of the division got dropped into my lap a few months back, and I had to get our part up and running via systems testing.  Despite not knowing anything about the program really.

So there I was just before my holidays having to teach myself a program that wasn’t working completely, and go back and forth with the developers to try to mold how things work somewhat.

But as with anything in life, I wasn’t even asked if I wanted to do this.  I was just expected to ‘fix it’ as I’m seen as the ‘computer guy’.  And they’ve now decided that I’ll be our new system’s ‘expert’, meaning any problems people have they’ll come to me for it instead of the developers.

Oh joy… lucky me.

Meanwhile, here we are several weeks after the program launched and my department is the only one who can’t even use it because the developers haven’t loaded our correct rates yet.  The rest of the department is fine for the most part, and they can get things done.  But we can’t.

Like I said to one of our supervisors this morning, it’s like our little department is the forgotten step-child.  And no matter how much I chase things up, it’s like I’m talking to a brick wall.

*Sigh*.. As much as I could say I don’t feel appreciated in my current job, I know that’s not completely correct.  I do get messages of thanks or notes of appreciation from the bosses, but it’s almost to the point where it’s expected that I’ll just get things done.  And quickly and efficiently as well.

I’ve been told that I’m getting another (very small) raise – the 2nd in the last 6 months or so – which is great, but I’ll believe it when I have the signed paperwork in front of me.

I do wonder why I’m still with this company after almost 3 years.  I’m pretty sure I could potentially get more money at other companies, but yet I haven’t been looking around at all.

It’s partly because this office is so convenient to where I’m living (I can literally walk home in just under 45 minutes), but also because I know if I leave this job right now I’ll have to pay them money..

They’re paying for my PRINCE2 certification, and part of the agreement is if I left within 2 years of starting the course then I’ll have to pay back a certain percentage of the costs (standard for most companies these days..).

But is that worth sticking around this place for another 2 years?  Of continuing to feeling used and pushed to do more and more?

I suppose only time will tell.. until then, I need to get studying.  The certification isn’t going to complete itself.

Why Are You Single

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Life can be frustrating when you know what you want but never seem to find it.  Especially when it comes to romance and relationships.

It’s bad when someone asks ‘why are you still single’ while extolling how wonderful and ‘nice’ you are.  It’s almost like they start looking to find out what’s wrong with you.  Or start talking down to you about ‘needing to be patient’ or having just ‘not found the right guy yet’.  As if that is supposed to make you feel better.

The worst though is watching those around you seemingly jump from relationship to relationship without batting an eyelash.  They make it seem so easy that it can make you feel worse about yourself.

Perhaps there’s a reason you’re still single.. and maybe it’s one of the below.  Or maybe you just meet a lot of jerks.  LOL

Your friends take up too much of your time

Friends are the rock that can help you get out of a hard place, and be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on.  But if you have such a wide circle of friends that you’re spending all your time trying to maintain those friendship, when do you get room for your love life?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having lots of friends, as ultimately they do help you be a better you and perhaps mold who you are as a person.  And sometimes they even become our families so it’s important to nurture that connection.

But when it gets to the point where you’re spending all your time appeasing their happiness and your own gets left by the way-side, then you need to make a few minute changes.  Allow yourself some time for your and your own needs.  Allow yourself space to meet someone interesting.

Your confidence becomes cockiness

Let’s be honest – we’re all immensely attracted to a confident man who knows what he wants and how to get it.  But at what point does your confidence turn into something less attractive?  Or perhaps it makes you seem above the rest of us who aren’t as comfortable in our skins.

As artificial and plastic as the gay community can seem at times, there’s something to be said for coming across as a flawed, compassionate human who’s still working through whatever baggage they have.  And having baggage isn’t a bad thing, it just means you’ve lived life and have the battle scars to show for it.

All in all, leave your ego at the door and allow yourself to be open to new possibilities.  Nobody is perfect, not even you.  So why judge others as if it was true?

Always looking for something better

To be honest, sometimes the grass is greener right where you are but you just can’t see it.  Too often guys will spend all their time still looking for something better, even when they have something great already in front of them.  We’ve been brainwashed to think there’s got to a perfect guy out there for us, when in fact there’s no such thing.

You could be allowing something really great that has potential to grow into something amazing slip through your fingers.  Relationships are never easy and it’s even harder to find a meaningful one.  So why give up before you’ve even tried to see where things can go?

Stop throwing away the good guys just because they’re not what you think as ‘perfect’.

Are you ‘ready’?

Who hasn’t said at one point or another  they’re not ‘ready’ or ‘looking for something serious’ right now?  Do you really understand that’s just you giving an excuse why you’re not dating at the moment, and that really you just love being single so you can play the field?  And that’s ok to admit that.

Basically all you’re doing is allowing yourself to procrastinate about your love life.  You’d rather push perfectly great guys away so you can have some ‘fun’ instead of being willing to see where things may develop.

What a waste… especially when there’s an actual connection between you.

Hard to get is more than your mantra

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a strong, independent guy who marches to their own beat in life.  In fact, that’s insanely attractive in a guy because you just know they’ll always give you space in a relationship or not become overbearing because value their time alone.

But… if it gets to the point where you’ve become stubborn or can’t conceive of allowing anyone into your life because of your independent spirit, then potentially you’re missing out on something great.

It’s not a matter of whether someone special or new fits into your life plans, but instead how including them could move you closer to where you actually want to be.

Work work work

There’s something to be said about having a healthy work-life balance.  When you’re living to work instead of working to live, you’re risking burning yourself out and then not having anyone there to help you pick up the pieces.  Work is important, but it shouldn’t be the only thing in your life.

Also, if you have no personal life who are you going to vent to when you’ve had a bad day?  The cat?  Even the strongest among us need someone they can turn to that isn’t part of their daily work life.  With the right balance, you canhave an amazingly successful career and someone special at home to help you decompress.

Leave your work at work.

You’re afraid to settle down

When you’re a free and independent spirit, you might think the idea of settling down means the end of your fun, carefree ways.  That having a relationship means you’ll stop trying to achieve something in life, or that the other person will stifle your joie de vivre.

Perhaps instead you’ll actually shine even brighter than ever by letting someone special in.  They will inspire you to become a better version of yourself.  Your life could be even more enriched by including them in your life, and vice versa.

So drop your ego at the door, and give them a chance to show how you can enhance each other’s lives.

You have intimacy issues

Being intimate with friends, family and some short-term loves can be easy.  It comes second nature as there’s no pressure or worry about where things may lead.  You’re just cool and comfortable around each other.

But when it comes to something more serious, your cool factor plummets to the point you’re terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing.  Or that you stop feeling like yourself around the other guy, and maybe even feel like you’re losing yourself somewhat.  And that’s all normal.

Love can knock you off-centre and gets you thinking about situations differently than you might with a friend. It can kick you ass, but once you’ve honed your ability to manage these new feelings, you’ll be flying.

Nobody is psychic

How the hell are you going to get the man of your dreams if you’re sitting back waiting for him to ready your mind?  If you’re not telling him what you want or need, then it’ll be a crap-shoot whether he gets it right and you’ll ultimately be disappointed when he doesn’t.

And the reverse is true too.  If you like a guy, then just tell him already!  Stop playing coy and unassuming, and let him know you want to get to know him more.

This post has been inspired by – You’re Awesome, But Here’s Why You’re Still Single: – GayGuys.com

First Date Tips for the Gay Man

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Even though it can seem that nobody goes on actual dates any more, there are still some guys out there that do want to spend time getting to know you before heading to the sheets.

Shocking, I know.  LOL

Sadly, especially with the advent of the smart phone apps, most of us don’t even bother following a few basic first date guidelines.  Sometimes we’ve spent so much time chatting online to each other, it’s like you’ve already had your first or second date, just without even meeting.

Bust is this a matter of getting too familiar too soon?

The whole point of a first date is to get to know someone new and see if there’s any connection between you.  It’s not to unload your entire life story, or to complain about your ex, prattle on about your newest gadget, or to extol the virtues of your new workout routine.

It’s all about see what you have in common and if there are any sparks between you.

Some of the below may seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how many guys forget about them.

Do something mutually fun and affordable

All too often guys will go along with their date’s ideas even if it’s something they don’t enjoy or maybe even can’t afford.  There’s no rule that says one of you needs to take charge and decide what you’ll do on your date, or that one of you should be submissive when it comes to making a decision.  It is, after all, your date too so you do have a say.

And let’s be honest – unless you’re a sugar daddy looking to snatch up some young money-grubbing twink, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing something on the cheap.. but perhaps not so cheap that you’re eating dry ramen sitting in a park.  LOL

Overall, a date should be fun and interesting.  And the most important part is spending time to get to know each other.  So if you both have an interest in the arts, why not tour a local art gallery (some of which may even be free..).  Or if you’re both foodies, why not sample the wares at some weekend market.

A first date doesn’t have to be some big lavish production.  Just go enjoy yourselves and each other’s company.

Casual is the best way to go

As clichéd as it may seem, too many gay men out there will spend hours picking out just the right outfit, or even go shopping for something new because they think that will impress their date.

But when you get right to it, is there really any point?  He’s going on a date with you, not your designer duds.

Now that’s not to say you should rock up in your paint-splattered (unfashionably) torn jeans and a dirty sweatshirt.  You still do need to look presentable when meeting someone new, but it’s also equally important to be comfortable in what you’re wearing.

Don’t go on a date wearing a button-up shirt and chinos when you’re really a jeans and t-shirt sort of guy.  Be yourself and dress accordingly.

Pick somewhere quiet and easy to get to.. for both of you

When you live in a big city, it can occasionally difficult to find a place that is mutually beneficial location-wise to both parties.  And all too often, guys will purposely try to choose a place to meet that’s closer to them than the other person.  But is that really fair?

On top of that, the whole point of a first date is to be able to talk to each other.  But if you’ve chosen to go to the movies on your date, you can’t exactly talk during the film (please don’t.. it’s annoying hahaha).

Instead pick somewhere that’s realistically reachable for both of you and isn’t too crowded or noisy.  For instance, if it’s a nice day then why not grab a couple of ice creams or gelato and go for a walk in the park.

And yes, the old stand by of meeting for a coffee is always a great option.

It’s a date, not a competition

As fun as meeting for a round of mini-golf or enjoying a few games of bowling might seem for a first date, it’s actually not that great an idea.  In fact, it’s leaving you (or your date) open to be humiliated.

Because let’s be honest – nobody likes to lose, and if you’re competing during a date, there’s always going to a loser.  And that may put a damper on the possibilities of a second date.

And yes, gay men do like to be competitive, even if they’re not into sports of any kind.  In the end it’s not about the game but about the results that will affect the outcome of the date.

To bar or not to bar

It’s all too easy to suggest meeting for a few drinks on your first date.  And sometimes that may be a great way for both of you to relax since you’ll both probably be nervous.  But the last thing you want to do is to get drunk.  Or for your date to think you’re a lush.  Or that you live on the gay scene and are a party animal.

As well, absolutely do NOT go to your local gay bar or the hottest place around.  You’ll be more likely to run into someone you know, and then will come the awkward questions about what you’re doing there.

Instead, why not go somewhere new that neither of you have been to.  Or hit up some out of the way cocktail bar for a more cosy atmosphere.  Or better yet, go for a nice quiet meal somewhere fun.  Just make sure it’s somewhere you can hear each other speak without having to yell at each other.

Be engaging and listen 

Who hasn’t been on a date and spent the entire time listening to the other person just talk about themselves without engaging you once?  Unfortunately, this is a lot more prevalent than you’d think.

We all love to talk about ourselves (even if we don’t like to actually admit it..) and whatever hobbies or activities we’ve been up to, but how is that a conversation?  It isn’t, so why not hush yourself and engage your date in an actual conversation.  Ask the other person what their interests are.. and then actually listen to what they have to say.

The more you engage and converse back and forth, the better the overall date will be.  It’ll be memorable for the right reasons, and not for being an ugly, self-centered car-wreck.

Date + Friends = Recipe for a non-date

It’s way too easy to just invite your potential date to join you and your friends to hang out.  It may seem like it’s a ingenious way to get to know your new beau while getting some friendly feedback at the same time.

Wrong.  Oh so wrong.

Just think how uncomfortable that would be for the guy, to be forced to hang out and engage with people he doesn’t know, when all he wants is to get to know you.  And by doing this, you’re essentially sending him the message that you’re really not interested in him romantically, but more as a ‘pal’.

Save the meeting of your friends for somewhere down the line if it turns into something.

Time limit or no time limit?

There are loads of people who think you should set a time limit to how long a first date should last, generally no more than three hours.  But is this realistic or setting too much of a limitation on how much you allow yourself to enjoy the other guy’s company?

Obviously, this is something that needs to be decided on an individual, date-by-date basis, as not all dates will be same.  Perhaps you’ll be getting along like gang-busters and want to spend the night together.

Or perhaps you just don’t gel that well, so it’ll only last a short while.

Some say if you spend too much time together on the first date, then you’re not giving them an opportunity to want to learn more about you.

But then again, if the spark is there right away, then that first date may turn into the second or third without either of you even trying, perhaps leading to something more.

And ultimately, isn’t that the end goal?

This post has been inspired by — 10 Gay First Date Tips That Should Be Obvious! – Gay Pop Buzz

Holiday Blog – Day 7, 8 & Home

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It’s always sad when a holiday comes to an end, as it means it’s time to go back to reality.  And when the reality is the chilly, dreary London weather, it’s really hits hard.

Unfortunately there hadn’t been much of a chance to past over the last couple days of the trip, but at the same time there wasn’t anything exciting to write about.  And to be honest, not all of it was great or fun…

I think I went into this holiday with the wrong mentality when it came to having a bit of holiday fun.  Or perhaps I’d had certain high expectations after my last couple trips to the island.  Finding a bit of ‘fun’ on holiday usually isn’t that hard.. no pun intended.  LOL

But for some reason I’d felt somewhat ignored sexually by other guys, both in and out of the bars or the resort.  In the past, my dating/chatting apps were quite busy with messages or views (even if it wasn’t from guys I was attracted to), but this time I barely got any hits.

And at the bars it was almost like I was invisible.  Guys would walk right past me as if I wasn’t even there… and when you’re in a sex/cruising club, that really isn’t a good thing.  If anything it got me feeling somewhat anxious and perhaps that made me come across as desperate.

It was somewhat stressful near the end for me.  So much so that I came very close to falling back on an old crutch to try and make myself feel better – cigarettes.  Although I did have a couple cigarettes over the course of the week (it happens, no biggy), I came so close on the second to last night to buying an actual pack and start up again.

Yeah… that’s how shitty I was feeling, but in the end I resisted the temptation that night.

The next day was spent on the beach, which I absolutely love to do, but I was still in a bit of a funky mood.. and my mate didn’t really help things any.  He doesn’t seem to get it when I tell him about my troubles finding guys or even a shag, especially as he never has any troubles himself.

It just felt like my concerns or feelings were brushed aside as if they didn’t matter, as if it was all just in my head.  Him and I are obviously completely different people – he’s fit, handsome, super outgoing and everyone loves his outrageous behaviour; whereas I’m chubby, shy, reserved, and have a hard time finding guys attracted to bigger men.

I was there on holiday to relax, enjoy the sunshine and the company around me, nothing more.  So I really shouldn’t have let it get to me.

Anyway, the final evening included a ‘farewell’ meal with the entire group at a restaurant at the ungodly early time of 7pm (nobody eats dinner that early in Spain LOL). It wasn’t anything spectacular, and personally I think would have been better if it had been held closer to the resort.

After a quick nip home and a nap, I headed back out to the clubs just after midnight in the hopes of having a bit of last minute fun.  I did snog an Irish bearcub early on, only for him to say he’d grab me later for more but didn’t.. in fact the last time I saw him around the bar he looked right past me.

With the exception of a handful of guys, everyone was heading home at different times on Saturday.  I’d purposely booked a late flight so I could enjoy most of the day, which I did.  I relaxed, packed my case, and then met a couple friends who were also on holidays for a late lunch.

Unfortunately, getting onto the plane home turned into a bit of a farce.

Once the gate was called for our 8pm flight home, suddenly there was a gate change half an hour before we were due to board/take off.  So off we all went to the new gate.. only for them to change it again about 5 minutes later, and again 5 minutes after that.

It was almost like someone was sitting there trying to get the Brits to run around the airport.  We had 4 gate changes before they stopped.. and only then announced the flight was going to be delayed AFTER the initial departure time had passed.

Meanwhile the airline app was still showing everything was on time.  Riiiiight…

So that meant I landed back in London just past 1am Sunday morning, and once I’d grabbed a train into town and then arranged an Uber to take me home from the train station, it was well after 3am.  *YAWN*

But that’s ok, it happens from time to time I suppose.  Plus it was a bank holiday weekend, so I don’t return to work until Tuesday anyway.  LOL

What mattered is that I got home safe and sound, and despite my own insecurities near the end, I did have a fabulous naked holiday.  I met a few new guys from the website, I saw some amazing sights around the island, and I came home with a killer tan.

What more can I ask for? 😀

Now it’s time to start planning my next holiday – I still have 9 days to use up before the end of July.. just need to decide where to go. 😉

Holiday Blog – Day 6

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Wow…. This week is just flying by! It’s day 6 already.. which means it’s almost time to head home to London. 

Booooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! 

Luckily that’s not until Saturday night, so I still have a bit of time to play in the sun. 😉

Despite my best intentions, I ended up staying in last night as I’d fallen asleep after a lovely dinner at the restaurant around the corner. My mate’s ended up still going out around midnight but I was still half asleep so stayed in. 

This morning was a bit off for me as all I wanted was a bit of quiet away from the resort. As fun as a group trip can be, it can be tiring at times. 

I ended up going to the same restaurant for a late breakfast before rejoining my mates. . And it helped a bit I think.

After lounging around until midday, one of the guys and I decided to drive up to Puerto de Mogan, on the west coast of the island just past Puerto Rico.

We made a few wrong turns along the way, driving along the coast instead of the highway for part of it, and even ended up driving a bit inland to the village of Mogan instead of the port. 

Let’s just say there weren’t clear sign posts.. and we weren’t using out mobile’s GPS. But it’s all good as it was still very scenic.

Once arrived in the right ‘Mogan’, we wandered around and enjoyed the sights. It’s easily a little tourist coastal village, with lots of high-end shops, but still quite idyllic. 

All in all a lovely, peaceful day out. Gotta enjoy it while I can. 😁

Holiday Blog – Day 5

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I have to say.. my feet are still killing me after yesterday’s massive hike, and today’s trek through the dunes to get to the beach probably didn’t help any.

Yeah.. can you believe I didn’t make it to the beach until day 5 of my holiday?  Last year that was all I did every single day, mostly because I hadn’t been in a resort where I could sunbath naturally around the pool like I do this year.

And at the same time, this has been a good thing that I haven’t spent every single day at the beach, as it’s allowed me to do different things and get to know some of the other guys on the holiday with us.

Last night, the three of us treked off to the Yumbo for dinner at a restaurant my mate loves and always gets their Argentinian steak.  So I figured what the hell as I rarely get a chance to have a steak and ordered the same.

Dammmmnnnn… that meat tasted so good!  It’s been gawd-knows how long since I’d last had red meat of any type, let alone a steak, so it was a nice rare treat.  And if you can’t treat yourself on holiday, when can you right? LOL

Afterwards we came back to the resort to relax a bit before heading back out to see what shenanigans we could get up to in the bars/clubs… too bad nobody told anyone else as it was quite dead last night.  

I did get to meet a cute Brazilian chaser (who lives in Bern, Switzerland), but not much really happened as he was too drunk.  But we did get to chat a bit afterwards and I saw him briefly on the beach just before we came back to the resort… and hopefully I’ll run into him again tonight before he heads home tomorrow.

But yeah… the beach.  It is so calming and relaxing to be laying there with the waves crashing, a slight wind, and the sun peeking out between the clouds.  If anything it was probably quite deceptive how much sun we were actually getting because of the clouds coming and going all day… cause when they were gone, damn it was a scorcher of a day!!

Anyway, we’ll see how the rest of the night goes and then tomorrow.  😉

Holiday Blog – Day 3 & 4

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Well, so much for blogging everyday on my holiday lol  Yesterday was a completely chilled day and logging on was the last thing on my mind.

Sunday night, the three of us headed to the Yumbo (as usual), only this time we were headed to a bar I actually enjoy and find the uys attractive – Cruise bar.  

I know, such an obvious name, right?  LOL

Upon arriving, we met us with a couple of other guuys from our group that had gone out to a sex club earlier in the evening but wasn’t very good.  It was cool to see them but it seemed like they were standing around waiting for someone else to take the lead for the evening, but all we did was say hi briefly before heading off to see what delights were hidden in the corners of the bar.

No… I’m not going to give you the gory details, but it was a fun part of the evening before several of us moved on to The Box once again.  Only this time there were about a dozen of us there, and next thing we knew we were all naked in the bar (yes, it was that type of place LOL).

I have to say it was definitely a new experience for me, being naked in a bar.  But all in all it was quite a fun evening.. it was just like we were at the resort only with a few other (clothed) people around.  And of course the bartenders don’t mind.. in fact, they were happy when we showed up and started stripping.

Let’s just say the evening had been a bit dead before then. LOL

It did however turn into a very late night, as my mate ‘M’ and I didn’t get back until well after 4am, and then we joined a few others for a last drink on their veranda.  Think in the end it was close to 6am before I went to bed…

…And then was wide awake at 9:30am.  Dammit.

Needless to say I was absolutely shattered, and probably still a bit drunk.

So instead of a day at teh beach or in the dunes, I ended up just staying in the resort to relax.  It was also partly because I think I’d had a bit too much sun the day before, so I took it easy.  I relaxed, read my book, had a nap, and had a nice quiet day while most of the guys were out and about.

Last night was another party in a different bungalow, which was ok but I wasn’t really in the party mood.  I watered drown my wine and ended up back in our place quite early.  And I had no desire to go out so I just relaxed and read until about 1am when I fell asleep.

Today was an absolutely amazing and exhausting adventure, as the three of us decided to climb to the top of El Roque Nublo, which is about 1,813 m above sea level.  It is a volcanic rock on the island, and is the second highest peak.  It was formed by a volcanic eruption around 4.5 millipon years ago.

To get to the hiking trails, we had to drive for most of an hour through these small winding roads, which our mate ‘M’ was taking way too fast (we jokingly called him Mario Andretti after today lol).  The views were absolutely amazing throughout the drive and all the way up to the top – it took us about 2 hours total there and back.  Needless to say my back, legs and feet are sore as hell.  LOL

But in the end, despite my worry I wouldn’t make it all the way up, it was an amazing afternoon.  And I liked that we did something other than going to the beach or staying by the pool.

(more photos will follow once I return to London.. still getting used to this new tablet lol)

Holiday Blog – Day 2

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It’s definitely a good thing that all we’ve done today is lounge by the pool, considering how many of us woke up with hangovers.. and I suspect a few were still drunk from last night.  I heard a few stories this morning that some of them were up until abpout 6am drinking on the roof terrace after getting back from the bars.

Comparetively I was a ‘good’ boy, getting in at a almost resonable 3am.  I’d gone with a few of the guys to the Yumbo centre, and we’d ended up in a bar called ‘The Box’.  It’s not my favourite place, but it was majority rules I guess.

as for this morning, I was just a bit hungover.. partly due to all the vodka sodas I’d drank last night (they free-pour the mixed drinks in Spain..), and partly due to getting very little sleep two days running.  For some reason I woke up at 7am this morning with a spitting headache, and think I dozed for about an hour between then and 9am when my one mate got up to make coffee.

But I’m not going to complain as it’s not like I had anything important to do today.  LOL

In fact, today has been an absolutely gorgeous day.  Lots of laughs, plenty of scorching sunshine, and even a bit of eye-candy around the pool.  Hehe

The best part of today was the buffet lunch put on by the resort for us.. way too much food, but served to us by a couple of the bar staff just as naked as the rest of us.  It made for a fun afternoon, and lots of naughty jokes from the staff as they brought the food and drinks around.

During the lunch, I’d ended up sitting beside a guy from Nottingham that I don’t think I’d met before, and we had plenty of laughs throughout the meal.  Ok, we were mostly perving over the serving staff, but it was all in good fun.  and some of it we’d even said to their faces.  LOL

But I suppose all in all, that’s the whole point of a holiday – to just have some fun, some laughs, and just genuinely enjoy yourself.  None of us who were hung over today complained about it, but instead made jokes about it.  Which just goes to show how much everyone here is interested in just enjoying themselves.

Now time for a disco-napp, perhaps another swim, and then out again tonight for more fun and frolics.  🙂

Holiday Blog – Day 1

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Greetings everyone from the gorgous and sunny Maspalomas on Gran Canaria island!  It’s that time of year again, as I’m off on a week’s holiday of fun in the sun. 🙂

This is my third trip to the island in the past year and a half, and there’s just somethign about the place that keeps me coming back for more every year.

On previous trips I’ve either stayed by myself or shared with a ‘mate’ (he isn’t anympore after that trip lol), but this time I’m doing something different by going on a group holiday through a naturist social website I belong to (nakedmates.co.uk).

In total there’s supposed to be about 40+ guys staying at our resort (we’ve taken over the entire place for the week), and it’s an semi-annual trip for the guys on the website.

If it wasn’t for the fact that a two good friends of mine were coming on the trip, I may not have done the group thing.  But I know with them, I’ll definitely have a good time.

Already it’s been a super long day, as we had a 7am flight this morning.  To make things easier, the three of us all went to my mate’s place in Essex and then his husband drove us to the airport just after 5am.  Once we arrived and got through the usual check-ins, we were headed for the gate and were boarded pretty quickly.. although because we’d booked our flight separately, we weren’t seated anywhere near each other.

Well, four long ass-numbing hours later we were on the island and feeling extremely warm in our typical early-Spring attire.  But off we went to pick up the rental car, grab our sunglasses, and head to the south of the island to find our resort.

Now as much as I would LOVE to show some pics of the resort, I do have to respect the other guy’s privacy.. it is a naturist resort and the only people wearing clothes are the staff.  LOL  Maybe I’ll get a couple quick pics later on when there’s not as many people around the pool.

But now is time to relax and enjoy the gorgous mid-to-high 20c weather, barely a cloud in the sky, and get myself a nice lovely tan.

What else do you do when you’re in paradise? LOL

 

Being an Awkward Flirt

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As someone who can be somewhat socially awkward at times, it can be absolutely terrifying to go out and interact with other people.  Just the idea of going to a pub or social gathering where you’re forced to chat or interact with other people can be almost debilitating.

But adding flirting on top of all that??  Hot damn, that can be scary as fuck!

But because of the fear of rejection, a lot of socially awkward people will be more comfortable flirting online.  And that anonymity allows them to show how amazingly flirty they really are, but they clam up once it moves into a public situation.

Obviously like anything in life, you need to make an effort to get a result.  If it feels like you’re making an absolutely massive effort but getting nowhere, then maybe you’re just coming across as a bit too subtle.  Your idea of being a flirt may not be the same as other guys.

Despite how tricky it may seem, this is something you truly need to be in it to win it.

Get out of your own head

Regardless of the situation, a socially awkward person can sometimes spend too much time over-thinking or over-analysing things.  Perhaps you’ll worry that you’ve said the wrong thing, or didn’t come across as interesting as you’d have liked.  Or you’ll worry that you’re coming on too strong.. or not strong enough as the case may be.

Instead you just need to stop thinking, calm the fuck down, and just listen to the other person.  Listen to the words coming out of their mouth and their inflection.  Watch their body language and whether they maintain eye contact or if they’re too busy looking around the room.  As you listen to the other person, both vocally and physically, you’ll find you’ll start reacting to them instinctively and naturally.

And he’ll definitely notice, as it’ll make him feel important.

Flash your assets

And no, that doesn’t mean getting your ass out for everyone to see… well, depending on the party you’re at I guess.  LOL

This is more about knowing what you’re good at and improving upon those skills as a way to increase your self-confidence or self-esteem.  It could something silly like a party trick, or being able to make the best G&T ever, or perhaps it could be a personal interest you could use as a talking point when meeting someone new.

Whatever it is, it’s obviously just the tip of the iceberg of who you are as a person, but it at least will allow someone new to get a glimpse inside.  And everybody knows that the more confident you are in yourself, the more this will shine through to others around you.  Your feeling of self-worth will improve as you go along, so why not improve upon it so it shines through.

It’s also about putting your best face forward.  If it’s clear that you’re not taking care of yourself, then that’ll be a massive turn off for the other guy.  It’s not necessarily just about your physical appearance (not all guys are into washboard abs.. just saying), but about taking care of your hygiene, knowing what looks good on your body shape, and allowing your amazing personality to shine through.

Own yourself

We’ve all been there – you’re at a party and some guy you just started chatting to is all over you.  They’re practically straddling your leg, breathing in your ear, with their hand down the front (or back) of your pants.  It’s one thing to be flirty, but when you’ve bypassed someone else’s boundaries, then you’re definitely getting into a no-go zone.

As adults, we need to be aware of our own and other’s personal space, and respect this at all times.  If you’ve draped yourself over someone and you can tell they’re feeling uncomfortable, then you really just need to back off.  Give them some room to breath and wait for them to invite you back into their space (if or) when they’re ready.

Make the first move

It seems these days that guys are totally afraid to show their interest in another person until that other person has shown their hand first.  It’s like we’re all afraid to be vulnerable and show emotions, even if it’s a solely physical manifestation of one.

There’s nothing wrong with flirting subtly (though not so subtle that it couldn’t be recognised with a microscope) and showing interest in the other person.  If you don’t show them you’re interested, then how are they going to know?  You can’t just keep waiting on someone else to make the first move, regardless of how scary that may seem.

Let down your defences

All too often, especially when you’re socially awkward, you’ll tend to approach social situations with hesitation and a pre-conceived idea of how other people will look at you.  That they’ll judge you for every word, action, or reaction you give.

Basically you put yourself on the defensive before you even walk into the room, let alone start talking to someone.  And what this means is, deep-down, you’re judging yourself and making yourself uncomfortable about a situation before it’s even happened.  You’ll start shaming yourself for actions you ‘may’ take, which will only make it worse.

Instead allow yourself to have a more open mind to whatever may come along, be it a new friend, a bit of fun, or even the possibility of a new boyfriend.

You just never know what might happen if you let someone in, so just go for it already!

This post was influenced by — How to Flirt When You’re Socially Awkward – GayGuys.com