Change Is Good


Sometimes all we need is one little – or big – thing to change in our life for our attitudes or general over-all outlook to change.  Hopefully for the better and not for the worst.

Well as I wrote in a previous post (click HERE to read), I’d given my notice at my dreary room in middle-of-nowhere Woolwich.  I’ve been looking on and off to move for well over six months now, but was having such a hard time finding anything I liked or could afford.

Or both.

Again, as I mentioned in the aforementioned post, I’d found a new place and I couldn’t have been happier.

And now that I’ve moved in this past weekend, my outlook regarding my housing situation is most definitely on the cheery side.  A more than welcome change from the gloominess I’d been feeling back in Woolwich.

I was so excited to move to my new place that I started moving in weekend before last, and then finished things off this past weekend after painting my bedroom, something I’ve never been able to do in the past.

Did it all go without a hitch?  Well, for the most part I’d say yes.

My original idea was to paint most of the room a light grey/platinum with a feature wall in an aqua-blue type colour, but figured that might be too dark for a bedroom.  Even if the room itself is quite spacious.

20151024_194850But unfortunately that didn’t happen.  And I ended up painting the room a colour called ‘stardust’, which looked more grey with a hint of lavender in it on the can and in the shop… But once I got it one the walls, it turned out a bit more pinkish/light lavender than grey in certain lights.

But I’m not complaining, as it allowed me to put my own stamp on a my new place, and now have clean walls to decorate in whatever way I want.  Something I’m looking forward to.

As well, I think by parcelling my move over two weekends it allowed me to organise things better and reduce some of the stress that comes from moving.  I had a different friend helping me each day with the move and painting, and was able to unpack quite easily once I get everything into the new place.

And now it’s time to settle into the new place and get to know the new flatmate.  So far over the past couple days, I think I’ve spent more time hanging out and chatting to him than I did in the last year at the last place.

It definitely makes a difference when living with someone who’s interested in having an actual flatmate around, and not just renting out the spare room.

20150924_191630I’m cooking more and actually eating at the dinner table instead of in my bedroom.  I’m not hiding out in my room watching Netflix every night.. In fact, tonight was the first time I’d turned on my laptop since I moved!

So fingers crossed this new living situation continues to succeed as much as it seems to have been over the past few days.. and not have to move again anytime soon. :)

Now the next big thing to look forward to is my week’s holiday in Gran Canaria in a couple weeks.. all by myself.  And I can’t wait.

Finding Your Passion


Life is an adventure.  So why spend it doing things that bore you or make you miserable?

Loads of people talk about finding your passion in life, and to look for ways to turn what could be a hobby into something more substantial.  Or at least that’s the dream, right?

Inventory your talents

The first thing you need to do when looking for your passions in life is to figure out what you’re good at.  And not just that, but what you’re good that excites you.

be diferentFor instance, you could be good with numbers but unless the idea of crunching numbers all day gets your blood flowing, I wouldn’t recommend a career in accounting.

Perhaps your passion could even be something you enjoy doing but don’t think you’re good at.  We are our own worst critics and tend to doubt our own abilities, even after others enthusiastically compliment us on them.

And who cares if others may not thing your passion is ‘practical’ or even common.  Sometimes having a passion that is off the beaten path can lead to something amazing an unique from what everyone else is doing.

Pay attention to who makes you annoyed or jealous

We all have people around us that make us annoyed by how frivolously they live their lives.  But have you ever taken a moment to think why that is?

Most likely, it someone who’s following their dreams and doing what they want to do in life.  It could be someone who has quit a well-paid full-time job in order to start their own home business.  Or it could be someone who’s left a stable (and possibly, boring) life to move abroad and live in another country.

Basically, why be jealous of those who are making their dreams a reality? And why live a life that everyone else expects you to have?  That truly isn’t going to make you happy or satisfied in life, so get out there in the world and follow your own path.

You never know who it may inspire to follow you.

Think of what you loved to do as a child

Remember when you were a young child and what used to excite you?  Was it making up stories for your toys, or dancing around your room to the music on the radio?  Or maybe it was becoming fascinated with the worlds you could explore through books or movies?

Think back to what made you happiest as a child, and maybe you’ll be able to unearth your true passion in life.

Notice what you hate to stop doing

Like most people, you probably spend a fair amount of time at work watching the clock and wishing it was time to go home or it was the weekend already.  How is that really any way to live?  And it definitely doesn’t do much to encourage your ‘passion’ in life.

Think about how you spend your life and those activities that seem to melt the time away.  When you’re immersed in these activities you don’t’ notice the time flow by, and you most definitely don’t want to stop once you’ve started.

That’s your passion.  It’s something you could spend all day or night doing and never get bored of it.  it’s something that allows you to get so involved that you’re actually sad that you have to stop.

See your passion hunt as a fun, joyful adventure

Finding and enjoying your passion should be one thing – a fun adventure of self-discovery.  At no point should you be putting pressure on yourself to find a passion in life, as that’ll defeat the purpose.

Steve Jobs quoteAnd if you try some new activity hoping it could be your new passion, do not get down on yourself if it doesn’t work out.  The whole point of this world of self-discovery is to enjoy different things in life that you may not have thought of trying before.  It’s about seeing what you like, enjoy and are good at, not a competition to see who finds their passion first.

Allow yourself to be open to new opportunities and experiences.  You just never know when you’ll find that magical activity that just lights you up inside.

This post was inspired by : Five Steps to Finding Your Passion | Psychology Today

Stop Absorbing Other People’s Negative Energy


Like most people, I tend to be a bit of an emotional sponge when it comes to other people’s energies.  Perhaps I unwittingly mirror their attitude or demeanour on a subconscious level, allowing myself to be sucked into their negativity.

As well, I think I can at times project my own bad mood on others, causing them to come down to my level.  It’s something I try hard to not let happen, but sometimes it just does.

Ultimately we all need to do our best to find ways to maintain our own positivity, while shielding yourself from the negativity bombarding you from all around.

Take responsibility for yourself.

It’s ways too easy to fall into someone else’s negative attitude and allow it to wash over you.  For instance, who hasn’t had a co-worker who’s constantly berating everything around them – job, company, workload, boss, etc.  And as they spew their negative views, you want to be support by listening or giving them some advise, but next thing you know you’ve joined them on their downward spiral.

Only you can and should be able to control how you’re feeling at any given moment.  As often as we get testing by life around us, you need to make a conscious decision to not allow that negativity impact you, your life or your attitude.  It may not always be easy, but it’ll be worth it longterm.

Just Breathe.

fresh airThere’s a reason people will tell you to take a deep breath when you’re feeling frustrated or upset about something.  Just the act of breathing itself can be very therapeutic, and can help you clear out the negative energy that has affected your mood.

The best thing you can do when the negativity is creeping up on you is to stop what you’re doing or thinking, sit back, and take a nice big deep breath, and then slowly let all of it go.  Sometimes you may need to change locations before doing so, and that’s ok.  Get a bit of fresh air and allow it to revitalise your energy.

Ignore It.

NEGATIVEGenerally when a negative person is going on about who horrible things are, all they’re really doing is looking for an audience to bring down with them.  For some it may be intentional, but others may not realise they’re doing it.

They literally are looking for someone to absorb their negativity, so why give them the satisfaction?

We all know negative people will continue to be that way no matter what you say to them, so why not just ignore them.  It’ll pop their balloon in a way, and allow you to get on with your day.

You can’t make everyone happy.

If someone constantly complains about their life or whatnot, then all they’re really looking for is someone to bring down to their level not for you to help them work through their issue, realistic or not.

Ultimately you can’t make everyone happy.  Really, you can’t, no matter how hard you try.  When you give into these attention-seekers, you allowing yourself to get sucked in and allowing them to attack your own positive energy.

You need to work at maintaining your own upbeat attitude, and not allow these negative people waylay you from your own happiness.


This post was inspired by: 4 Ways To Stop Absorbing Other People’s Negative Energy

An Update of Sorts


Where do I start…

It’s been well over a month since I last posted anything to my blog, and it hasn’t been due to a lack of things to write about.  Life gets busy sometimes, and sometimes there just isn’t any time to catch up on things.

But maybe that’s just a bunch of bull.. there’s been plenty of time to write on my blog, and plenty of opportunities to log on.  But for some reason, I just haven’t done it.

It’s not like I’ve been super busy with work or an amazing social life, because I haven’t been really.  More than anything I’ve just fallen into a rut where all I seem to want to do when I get home from work is relax, watch Netflix, and sleep.

I haven’t been going out that much really.  In fact I’ve continued my regular habit of spending my weekends at home, doing pretty much nothing.

Lazy on sofaSo there’s obviously lots of time for me to write and blog, and there have been times I’ve had some great ideas for posts or stories I’d like to write.

But .. nothing.

For whatever reason I’ve just found it hard to sit down at the laptop and open up a fresh post, and put my thoughts to paper so to speak.

It’s not like I’ve stopped enjoying the writing process or the act itself, but I haven’t.  If anything I’ve found myself itching to get back to it regularly.

I suppose a big factor in everything has to be environment.. in my current flat, I just don’t feel energised to be creative, or even have the energy to get off my ass and do what I want to do.

This probably has as much to do with how I feel about where I live as well as the environment itself.  For whatever reason, my bedroom feels almost claustrophobic and dark, as if I was living in a basement instead of on the 2nd floor.

It also hasn’t helped that I’ve gotten into the habit of using my desk as a dumping point for post, dishes and whatnot, leaving hardly any room for my laptop let alone sitting at the desk and writing.

Einstein quoteBut luckily change is on the horizon… finally.

Not only have I done a massive clean up to reduce the clutter in my room (wasn’t messy per se, just needed a good clear out), but I’ve also given my notice to move.

That’s right, after almost a year living in this gloomy, dreary place, I’ve finally found a new place to live.. and will be moving by the end of October.

The sooner the better.

Not only is it closer to work (about 25 minutes by bus including a 10 minute walk to the bus stop), but it’s also more central and closer to my friends.  So hopefully this will give me more of a push to get off my ass and live life more.

But I think the main reason I’m excited to move to this new place is my new flatmate.  He seems really nice, friendly, and interested in having someone to share the flat with him, not just rent a room.

moving-in-packing-organizingAlso helps that he’s not the landlord, but just another tenant in the flat.

Oh, and he’s Italian. And gay. And yes, he’s cute.. but I won’t be looking to cross that boundary.  LOL

I suppose this impending change has just gotten me excited about things a bit more again.  And living in a flat where it doesn’t feel like I’m inconveniencing the other person.

Change is good, and I can’t wait for it to get here. :)

I Need a Change..


I’m not sure why, but lately I’m finding life a bit difficult.  And I keep questioning where I am in life, and whether it’s time for a change.  But the problem is, I’m not sure what that change should be – work, home, city or something I’m not even seeing.

Over the past few months, I’ve seen a few rooms to rent, some in decent areas and some in areas I couldn’t imagine living in.  I get daily email notifications of new ads, but not many really get me excited to bother seeing them.

Or when I do see something I like, there’s always something that stops me from messaging the advertiser and setting up a viewing. Usually it’s the location, the cost, or it’s the people already living there.  Or all three.

I don’t know if I’m just being picky, but I don’t want to spend any more than I already am in rent, and the last thing I want to do is move into a place sharing with 4 or 5 people, most of whom seem to be in their mid-20’s. I just want somewhere decent that I can call home and be comfortable having people over to occasionally.

The other thing that feels like needs changing really soon is my job.  Or at least the amount of money I’m making.

I don’t particularly hate my job, but I do wish there was more support and a much better salary.  Generally we’re expected to work harder and harder with no additional remuneration.

young-man-with-sleepy-headIn fact, I’m currently in the middle of a two week period where my supervisor is on holidays, and I’m left to cover the entire department by myself (there’s just the two of us).  Everyday last week I was so tired that once I got home the only thing I wanted to do was go to sleep.. forgoing cooking or cleaning up for a bit of extra time in bed.

And that’s not good.  I shouldn’t be so exhausted after work that I’m not taking care of myself or actually living a life of some sort.  And when it came to this weekend (a 3-day weekend thanks to a bank holiday on Monday), all I wanted to do was stay in bed even if I couldn’t.

It could just be that I really need a nice relaxing holiday, away from London and work.  Somewhere sunny, where I can lay beside a pool or on a beach and just relax.  And recharge. Not that I can afford that..

Or is it time for a much bigger change?

This week coming is my 7 year anniversary of moving to London and I’m sort of wondering if this is the fabled ‘7 year itch’ coming along.

However I have no clue where’d I’d move to if I did leave London.  I have no plans of moving back to Canada, mostly because I think of the UK as home now.

My best mate P has said many times that I should move up to Scotland, and I do admit I’m quite tempted.  If I did, we could hang out more often than the couple times a year we see each other.

LondonBut again I worry about the job prospects and how I could possibly afford such a move.  My current job’s salary doesn’t leave me much room to save up for something like that, and despite trying to be careful, I’m finding myself using my credit card way too much.

I just don’t know what to do at the moment.. I’m feeling a bit stuck, and for whatever reason, afraid to make a leap of faith like I did when I first moved to London 7 years ago.  That took a lot of guts (and money lol), and I think I need to find that adventurous spirit again.

I suppose only time will tell what will happen next..

Stop Pushing People Away

Push away

Sometimes when we’re feeling down or vulnerable, we can’t help but push those that care about us away. Even when we don’t realise we’re doing it.

Sometimes we can be afraid to open up about what’s bothering us, or we’re afraid they may look at us as being too ‘needy’ (see previous post).

So when we’re feeling this way, we need to be proactive about how we interact with others and with ourselves really, and let people in when we’re vulnerable.  All it can do it make you feel better in the long run.

Identify the reasons behind it

Is there a specific reason you’re purposely pushing a certain person away?  What are you feeling when thinking about that person?  Nervous?  Scared?  Intimidated?

You need to have a good think about that person and visualise them in your head while paying attention to those feelings.  It’s the first step to breaking the habit of pushing people away during those times when you probably need them most.

Look within yourself

Need a hugSometimes the reason you’re pushing others away during a bad patch isn’t necessarily about them, but more about yourself and how you’re feeling about the situation or sometimes even yourself.

Let’s be honest, we’ve all been hurt at one point or another in our lives, and this can have a knock-on affect on our ability to trust other people or let them close.

In order to be a confident, strong person who let’s people in, you need to conquer these negative feelings within yourself in order to let others in again.

Talk things out

As much as we all try to be strong and keep things bottled up to deal with ourselves, sometimes it’s much more cathartic to talk things out as a way to realise that you’re truly not alone in your feelings.

You don’t have to go as far as speaking with a professional or go into intricate details, but opening up enough to unload those pent up feelings can be a world of help.

Build your self-confidence

your-strengthToo often when we’re feeling down on life, we can get down on ourselves and allow negative thinking to overtake our self-confidence.  This is clearly detrimental and will only make things worse in the long run.

Instead, why not make yourself a list of things that make you unique or that you like about yourself.  Or even get a friend to do it with you and then compare notes.  Not only will it help you focus on the positive parts of your life, but it could open your eyes to how others perceive you.

Tear down the wall

Don’t let your past experiences stop you from missing out of things that may be right in front of you. Not every person you meet is going to hurt you, and you can’t allow yourself to hide behind a barrier that prevents anyone from getting close.

Whether you realise it or not, there are people out there that love and appreciate you for who you are, not for what you can do for them.  Just let them in.

Fake it til you make it

Fake itLet’s be honest – as much as we’d all love to walk around with all our emotions showing clearly on our faces, that really won’t allow us to get on with our day to day lives.

Instead just go ahead and face the world with a big smile on your face, even if you don’t want to.  It’ll help project confidence to others, regardless of how you’re feeling inside, and eventually it should become reality.

Also, repeating positive mantras throughout the day can help you get past the rough patches.

Live Life

Sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself, ignoring your friends or loved ones, can only be detrimental to you in the long run.  How will it help you get past things if you wallow in self-pity?

Instead, get off your ass and go live life to the fullest.  Be willing to do new things and take risks.  It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant you’ve never considered going to before, to even pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to do something new.  This is an instant confidence boost, and could lead you to meeting someone new.

This post was inspired by –>> How to Stop Pushing People Away: 7 Steps