Getting The Juices Flowing

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Now if I was in a naughtier frame of mind, that title could mean this was a totally different type of post… but as I generally don’t talk sex on here, or at least not in an overt blunt manner, that’s not what that title means.

For anyone who’s been around these parts lately (or not so lately, to be more accurate), you’d have noticed a decidedly lack of activity since mid-August, with the previous couple of months being very sporadic.

Once again, I’ve become a lazy blogger and writer, and it’s becoming increasingly hard to get back into the flow of things.  To get those creative juices flowing, so to speak.

Or maybe not…

Repeatedly over the past few months, I’ve had ideas for blog posts or things I’d like to write about but I just haven’t.  More than anything I just keep dreading the thought of sitting down at the laptop after a full day’s work in the office in front of the computer.

My eyes (and brain) can only take so much I think.

So instead of writing I’ve been voraciously devouring books on my Kindle, gotten re-addicted to Candy Crush, and watching Netflix like it’s going out of season.  So instead of writing cause I don’t want to be in front of the laptop, I’m glued to the tv, my tablet or my Kindle… not much different, right?

And all the while I’d doing that, I’m having ideas pop into my head of things to write about, or possible (fiction) stories to write, and so forth… but yet I still don’t do anything about it, and the ideas either continue to rattle around my head or get forgotten into the ether.

So what the hell has prompted me to actually sit down today and write?  How’d I manage to shockingly drag my ass out of bed or off the sofa to sit in front of the laptop?

To be honest, it almost didn’t happen at all.  I was all snug and warm under the duvet, with unlimited lives on Candy Crush and could have easily just stayed there all afternoon.

But what kept going through my head was snippets of a conversation I’d had with a mate at a birthday party in Soho.  A mate who’s had some short stories or poetry published, and is about to have more of his work published in the next six months or so.

And as thrilled as I was to hear of how well he was doing and the palpable excitement in his voice as he explained his plans, all I could think about was ‘why isn’t this me?’.

Yeah… good old jealous selfish me couldn’t just be happy for him, but I had to think about how that’s exactly where I want to be in life.  Well, not exactly.  He writes poetry and children books (with a touch of horror), whereas I’m looking at LGBT fiction, with a side of M2M romance thrown in.

But from our conversation last night, I can understand why he’s doing so well at the moment – he’s working at it.  He dedicates time each and every day to write a certain number of words.  He makes sure he takes the time to hone his writing, and pushes himself to accomplish it even when he’s not feeling up to it.

And me?  I’m just sitting here like a bump on a log wishing I could be published.  And haven’t done a damn thing to get to where he is at the moment.  Or more accurately, where I want to be.

I know the only person that’s going to drive me to succeed is me.  Not my mate, not some mythical publisher who’s going to come out of the woodwork wanting to put my words into print.

Not even you, the lovely people who’ve taken the time out of their busy days to stay with me even when I wasn’t sure I was coming back.

I know I need to get off my ass and motivate myself to do something about what I want out of life.  And if I don’t, then I only have myself to blame when I don’t succeed.

Here’s hoping this is the wake up call I need to get my butt in gear… time will tell, right?

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Self-Help (Article) Overload

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Over the past couple of years, I’d gotten into the habit of posting re-hashed versions of self-help articles that others had written. I would read them, and then rewrite them from my perspective.

It works to an extent, as it allowed me to give my opinion on a wide range of topics, most of them being things I felt I was going through at the time. So in my mind, I was sort of doing a bit of self therapy by writing my version of these pieces.

I honestly can’t say if it was a good thing or not, or even it was anything remotely original. Sometimes it even felt like I was just rewording what had already been said instead of actually giving my option on the topic.

But as well, I noticed after awhile that I tended towards two main types of topics – gay dating tips and mental health issues.

And I’m by no means an expert in either subject.

It probably gave a contrasting and possibly confusing blend for those reading my site – one day I’d post about the joys of online dating profiles, and then the next about needing to build up self-esteem.

Or perhaps (to some) it gave them more of an insight into how I viewed the world.. and that’s the perspective I’m REALLY hoping people went for. 😉

For awhile I found myself constantly searching the internet for interesting articles about whatever idea had popped into my head, or whatever depressive or anxiety-ridden ‘symptom’ I’d convinced myself I had that day .. and then any links I didn’t use that day, I would save them in my blog drafts to use another day.

So today (or is it last night now..), I was scrolling through the saved drafts, and it’s a plethora of cheesy and almost ridiculous sounding articles. Though, some could be helpful…

  • 7 Obvious Signs He Wants to Hook Up and Not Date
  • The Thirst is Real (kinda don’t want to know about that…)
  • Secrets of Happily Single Gay Men.. Who Really Want a Boyfriend
  • Writing Your Way to Happiness (I still might read this one..)
  • What Your Friends with Social Anxiety Want You To Know
  • Table For One – The Rise of Solo Dining

And the list goes on and on.. over 100 saved article links or potential post ideas, some even ranging as far back as 2013!!

To be fair, when I was regularly ‘writing’ these posts, it was usually because I wasn’t happy about something in my life so wanted to get some perspective and help myself somehow.

But it was also usually because there really wasn’t much actually going on in my life at that moment (or day), and my own loneliness or insecurities drove me to the keyboard to ‘fix myself’.

I can’t honestly say if that was a good thing or not, if it even helped at the time, or even if I’ll never do it again if I continue to post regularly.

Though I do have to sometimes laugh at myself… posting tips on online dating or maintaining a relationship, when I was sitting home alone and still had never had a boyfriend.

Maybe I was self sabotaging my own personal life by over-thinking it all.

And maybe I still do.. while sitting at home alone. 😉

Nine Months Later…

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Nine months later…

That’s how long ago since I last posted on this site.  Since I decided I needed to take a break, especially as I hadn’t posted much over the course of last summer.

I figured it was the best thing to do.  I was clearly ‘too busy’ with life or work or whatever to keep things going regularly.  I’d felt that I needed to concentrate on other things at the time, instead of spending it writing on here.

Or perhaps I felt I didn’t need this platform any more, be it as an online journal of sorts to ‘talk’ my way through some issue I was having.  Or as a way to showcase my writing.

Or that I’d lost my ‘voice’.

And it was all a load of bullshit.  Excuses, the lot of them.

Yes, work had become a hell of a lot busier and exhausting, which just ended up being an excuse why I’d pulled away from the world.

Why I hadn’t spoken to or seen any of my friends in months.

Why I wasn’t writing anymore.

Why I hadn’t been getting through my (work authorised) online course.

Why I’d started smoking again and gained even more weight.

Why I started a downward spiral into loneliness and depressive behaviours that fed into my feelings of unworthiness.

Why, for all intents and purposes, it basically seemed like I was giving up on life.

And you know what?  I think I was in a way.

I’d convinced myself that nobody wanted to hang out with me, so why bother even trying to reach out to anyone.

That even less people would want to date me, so what was the point of trying to maintain any sort of positive self-image.

That I was going to continue to be stuck in my dead-end job until they forced me out or I died.. whichever came first.

Cheery thoughts, huh?

That’s where I’ve been over the past nine months, more or less.  Some days are better than others, but then there are the ones that just make me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Or the days that make me hate the world and everyone in it for how I seem to feel like I’m ‘treated’.  But at the same time, I still wished there was just one person by myself willing to comfort me as I battled my way out of the darkness.

Life hasn’t been a complete barrage of doom and gloom for me these past none months.

I’ve gone on a few holidays (as usual), some better than others.  There’s been time spent with friends, and time spent alone.  There’s been laughs and tears.  There’s been lots (LOTS) of good food and some not so good food.

And through it all, I’d felt like something was missing from my life.  That there had to be something that could allow me to focus all this anger, sadness, joy, ennui, confusion, and a million other emotions.

That there was a passion missing from my life that everyone else (seemingly) all appeared to possess.

Was that this blog?  My writing?  My unfinished novel and story ideas that I haven’t touched in about a year?

I honestly don’t know.  And I don’t know if this is my return to my blog or not.

I just know that I felt like writing today for the first time in a very long time.

And it felt great.

My Fourth Liebster Award

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The Liebster Award seems to float around every year around this time, and once again I’ve been nominated for this award by my fellow blogger Vinnie of the eponymously named blog vinneh (vinneh.wordpress.com).  Please check out his blog as well.

This is now the fourth year in a row I’ve received this distinction, and it always gives me a warm fuzzy feeling that other bloggers are enjoying my writing enough to show some love towards it.

Now to answer Vinnie’s questions, some random facts about me, and set out a few nominations of my own.

  1. Do you prefer a shower or a bath?  Always love to read while soaking in a nice bath, but generally go for a quick shower instead, especially if I’m rushing to work in the morning.
  2. Have you ever met a famous actor or actress?  Yes – many years ago I worked in a coffee shop in Kingston, ON, Canada and served Dan Ackroyd and his wife.  They were somewhat regular customers and my co-workers had always said they were rude.. but was the opposite for me.  I think they used to hound them for autographs, where I just served them without any fuss.. and I got a nice big tip for it too.
  3. Do you consider yourself a talented dancer?  If only!  I can keep a beat and have been told I dance well for a guy my size, but tend to get self-conscious.
  4. Have you ever skinny dipped before?  Many times.. most recently while in Gran Canaria on holidays.  I spent each day on the nude beach and swam in the sea several times a day.  Was a glorious feeling.
  5. What is your birthstone?  The moonstone, but have read June also counts pearl and alexandrite among it’s stones.
  6. What movie, no matter how many times you watch it, makes you cry?  Probably ‘Steel Magnolias’.  It’s a beautiful film full of amazing actresses.
  7. Who is your favourite author?  It’s a toss up between Stephen King and Anne Rice.  I’d love to have a writing career even half as popular as either of them.
  8. Are you a person who sleeps for a long time or rises early?  It’s changed over the years.. used to be able to sleep for ages, but nowadays I find I’m rising early when I don’t need to.  Which sucks cause I love nothing better than a long lie in on the weekends.
  9. What is your favourite holiday?  Pretty much anything that gives me a day off work.  LOL Have always been partial to New Year’s Eve, but think I tend to put too much pressure on having a good time to set the tone for the following year.
  10. Are you a horror movie fan?  Oh yes, though I don’t watch as many as I used to when I was younger.
  11. And finally, describe what you think of my blog with five adjectives.  Witty. Intriguing. Informative. Entertaining. Fun.

11 Random Facts About Me

  1. I have dual citizenship – Canadian and British.
  2. My first time flying in an airplane was when I moved from Canada to London.
  3. I have an honours diploma in Computerised Bookkeeping.
  4. I worked in an accounting office during tax season after graduation and hated it.
  5. I lived in Montreal for 8 years and I still only speak basic French.
  6. I regularly get mistaken for someone of Mediterranean decent – Italian, Spanish, etc – due to my dark complexion.
  7. I eat way too much pasta.
  8. I’ve been a smoker for over 20 years.
  9. I won a Gold and Silver medal in Bowling at the 2009 World OutGames in Copenhagen.
  10. I’m a comic-book geek, though haven’t read them in years.  Love the movies, TV shows, and some of the games on the iPad.  Make mine Marvel 🙂
  11. One of these days I’ll finally finish my novel.. or my series of erotic short stories.. or my ebook compilation of self-help articles I’ve posted on here.  One of them at least.

Now here are my nominees and my 11 questions for them.  All I ask if they continue to pay this honour forward towards other bloggers they enjoy reading.  It’s a great way to support each other.

    1. Ivan’s Blogworld – https://ivansblogworld.wordpress.com
    2. lgbt Icons – http://lgbticons.com
    3. Things I like.. and then run – https://trunkguy.wordpress.com
    4. A Life (not) in London – https://johngodley.com
    5. Flights, Tights, and Movie Nights – http://flightstightsandmovienights.com

And here are my questions for my fellow bloggers.  And the above list is in now way exhaustive.. there are tons of amazing blogs out there.  Please support them anyway you can.

  1. If you could only read one book for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  2. If you could have a superpower, what would it be and why?
  3. What’s your favourite holiday destination?
  4. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would that be?
  5. Newspapers or online magazines?
  6. What’s the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten?
  7. What’s your most embarrassing moment?
  8. What’s the most public display of affection you’ve ever done? (And I don’t just mean kissing LOL)
  9. Are you the little spoon or big spoon when cuddling?
  10. What is the one thing on your bucket list you absolutely must do before you die?
  11. Describe my blog in five adjectives.

Well.. there it is folks.  Please do check out my nominee’s blogs, as well as the blog of my nominator Vinneh.

Keep reading and checking in and supporting your favourite blogs.  Your continual viewings is what keeps most of us going after all this time.

~M~

There Once Was A Blogger….

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There once was a blogger who went under the simple moniker of ‘M’. 

He started a blog over six years ago as a way to keep friends and family back home abreast of his adventures after moving across the ocean.

He initially wrote about the excitement and nervousness of this move, and how he was assimilating into the new culture and his new (& much bigger) city.

Then over time his writing changed. 

He started writing about all sorts of things – some mundane, others exotic, sometimes political, and some down right eye-openingly explorative into the natural world around him.

He documented many ups and downs over the years, and didn’t even shy away from discussing the truly dark periods he battled through.

But through it all (and even through occasional breaks), he always appreciated the love, support, and camaraderie he found through his fellow bloggers and regular readers.

It is this that’s kept him going and continue to write, even when he didn’t feel like it. Or at least to pop on, make a few comments or ‘like’ other’s posts, sending others messages of love and bear hugs.

Or even at least to drop in and write some cheesy, soppy, third-person narrative about his blog so everyone reading knew he was still here.😉

He wants everyone to remember that he’s still living life as it comes, and still partially writing a couple posts in his head daily… Even if they never make it to the digital page.

He’ll be back in full force real soon (fingers crossed) with all new tales of life in the big city, dating, flat-hunting, or anything else that he feels he wants to talk about.

And that he’s DESPERATE for the warm weather to truly start in his part of the world. 

He needs a tan dammit! LOL

Hugs and kisses,

~M~

Another Year, Another Liebster Award

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It’s definitely that time of year again in the blogging world, when the not-so-elusive ‘Liebster Award’ nominations are spread around the blog-o-sphere.

Or at least it always seems to be around this time of year.  Last year was early February when I posted about my nomination for it, and April the year before.  This is the third year I’ve been nominated, though some years I have gotten multiple nominations.

This year the nomination came from Vinnieh over at his self-named blog, and I’m super grateful for it.  The whole point is to give recognition to those bloggers you enjoy reading and do a bit of cross-promotion at the same time.

Now on to answer the questions Vinnieh has set upon me:


Do you prefer watching films in the cinema or at home?

  • It depends really.. I used to go to the cinema a lot, but then couldn’t afford it anymore.  With the advent of Netflix and such, I tend to spend much more time at home watching movies.

Do you have any tattoos?

  • Not as yet.. I’ve always wanted one, but could never settle on a design.  I’ve had something in mind for a year or so now, just trying to get up the courage (and funding) to make it a reality.

What is your favourite sport?

  • Not really much of a sports fan, though do enjoy going bowling.  That counts right?

Who is your man crush or woman crush?

  • Well I’ve already discussed my current man-crush on a recent posting.. go read it. 😉

How good are you at keeping secrets?

  • I’d like to think I’m pretty good at it.  Why.. is there something you’re dying to tell me??

What movie do you love that everyone else seems to hate?

  • ‘Hackers’ starring the young Angelina Jolie and Johnny Lee Miller.  Most say it’s cheesy or lame how they make hacking seem cool, but I love the feel of it, and the soundtrack is outstanding.

What do you enjoy the most about blogging?

  • So many different things… The thrill of getting my written word out there for the world to see.  The satisfaction when people enjoy what I’ve written.  Being able to interact and start a dialogue about certain topics, even if it is my own love life.  LOL

What is your star sign?

  • I’m a Cancer, and tend to embody most of the main characteristics.

How many languages can you speak?

  • One and a bit.. English (obviously), and a little bit of French – I grew up in Canada, so we had to take French in school, and then I lived in Montreal for many years.

What is your most valuable belonging?

  • It may seem superficial, but I’d have to say my Kindle.  I don’t generally go anywhere without it, as I’ve always got a book on the go.  It helps me engage my imagination while exploring other fantastical worlds.

Describe yourself in five words.

  • Introvert, Loving, Confused, Naive, Loner.

Phew.. now onto my nominations, listed in no particular order:

  1. Confessions Of A Wallflower
  2. COCKTAILS & COCKTALK
  3. Things I Like… And Then Run
  4. Peter Monn
  5. A Life In London*
  6. KiltManinSoCal
  7. Lindaghill
  8. The Guyliner
  9. Flights, Tights, And Movie Nights
  10. A Guy Without Boxers
  11. Ivansblogworld’s

Definitely not an exhaustive list in any way at all, but can’t nominate everyone I suppose.

And here are my questions for my nominees…

  1. What’s your writing ritual?
  2. What guilty pleasure can you not go without?
  3. Have you ever had anything pierced other than your ears, and what was it?
  4. What’s your favourite place in the world?
  5. Have you ever lived in a different country from where you were born/raised?
  6. What’s the worst holiday you’ve ever been on?
  7. Boxers or Briefs?  Or ‘au naturel’?
  8. Apple or Android?
  9. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
  10. What’s the one regret you have in life?
  11. Describe yourself in five words.

And that’s the lot of it! Check out all of the nominated blogs, and happy Liebster Award season. 😉

It’s My Blog-iversary!

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It can be amazing how quickly time can fly, and you don’t realise when you’ve hit certain milestones.

In my case, it wasn’t until I logged into WordPress today (14-Dec-2014) that I realised that it was my anniversary writing on this blog – 6 years ago today, I took the plunge and created this site on the recommendation of a work colleague, who used to have a cycling blog on here.

I’d originally created the site as a way to document my travels and settling into life in London, as I’d just moved here a few months prior (4-Sept-2008 to be exact).  And I thought this would be a great way to keep my friends and family back home up to date on how things were going, while also having a platform to showcase some of my writing.

At that time, I never for once considered that I’d keep it going this long, or that I’d write about the various topics I have over the years – love, sex, life-coaching articles, dating, depression, marriage equality, politics, film/book reviews, and probably a couple dozen other things.

It’s been quite the ride, and it’s allowed me to have a little voice in the vastness of the internet while meeting some amazing people over the years through comments and visits from other bloggers.

It’s also helped me work through personal issues over the years, as writing about my feelings can be very therapeutic, while hopefully being able to give a little bit of advise to others in the same/similar situations.

As well, it’s helped give me some confidence in my writing itself, even if I haven’t been doing it as much as I’d like to lately.  Just in the past year alone, I started two different books – a fantasy novel with a gay twist, and an e-book compiling some of the self-help articles I’ve posted here over the years (albeit, both of them are gathering virtual dust…).

In the end though, is my life where I want it to be?  Of course not.

I still don’t have much of a career, especially after the redundancy a couple years back.  I’m still single and overly obsessed with the lack of action (pardon the pun lol) in my dating life.  I’m still renting a room in someone else’s home, despite wanting a place of my own (too expensive in London..).

I could go on and on about where my life ISN’T right now, but that’s not why we’re here today.

Roller Coaster Great RideInstead, I want to celebrate where I am currently and how far I’ve come over the past 6 years.  Looking at the stats on here, over the past 6 years I’ve had just over 61,000 hits!!!  Talk about amazing! 😀

Other than the stats, it’s more about how I’ve created this safe space for myself to tell my tales, talk through my woes, try to motivate myself (and hopefully others) to be a better ME, and generally have this one spot on the net that is solely mine.

And to have people like yourselves, who take the time to read what I write, leave comments and likes, and sometimes even give me advice or words of wisdom of your own.

bigbang-6th-anniversaryAnd I thank each and every one of you for every single comment, like, share, and so forth you’ve given me over the years.  At times it’s helped me continue writing when I thought about giving up and closing this site.

So.. what now?  Where will the next year (or 6) lead me and this site?  Who knows, but here’s hoping it’s a fun and exciting ride that we can take together.

Love, Mx

 

Need to get organised

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There are so many half-finished projects that I want to complete, but for whatever reason I haven’t really been fussed about getting off my ass (and putting away the Kindle or iPad) to get working on them or getting myself organised to finish them off.

Things_to_do_476x290But at the same time I’m a bit frustrated with myself that I haven’t pushed myself to compete any of them.  I never been the most driven of people, but even this has been really lazy for me.

Other than the regular writing I try to do here on this blog, I’ve also started a couple side writing projects that were moving along quite well until I just stopped opening them up or working on them – a series of travel-based erotic M2M short stories, my novel, and submitting articles/ideas to magazines for publication.

The other big thing I started ages ago and totally left to the side-line when I focused on finding work last year was my studies toward certification in Project Management.  I’d initially started the course in September 2012 (!?!) and was getting through the main course work fairly well, but then set it aside once I realised getting a job NOW was more important than completing a course I couldn’t afford to take the exam for.

But I suppose now that things aren’t as hectic with job hunting, moving houses, and trying to find a social/love life (that search will continue no matter what lol), maybe it’s time to get myself organised and set myself up a schedule for completing some of these projects, as well as continuing going to the gym.  Especially since I am paying for the course itself.

It’s not easy trying to get your mindset back into studying mode, especially when it’s been out of it for so long.  But I need to do it, even if it feels daunting to get back into the habit again.

Even if I don’t get a job in that field once I get the certification, at least I’d have completed it and would have that additional skill set for when I am looking for new jobs.

But at well I’d also have that feeling of accomplishment, because I finished it on my own.  That I drove myself to do this thing that could potentially change my life and career.

Now just to get off my ass and get started.. again.  😀

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Awards Season – The Liebster

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As usual, the beginning of the year brings us into award season for all sorts of things.  Though what mostly sticks out for me is those in the entertainment world – Grammys, Oscars, Brit Awards, People’s Choice Awards, and so forth.

liebsterawardWell awards season isn’t restricted to just the world of entertainment.  It also happens in the blogging world, where certain awards will float around the blogosphere and repeat nominations will undoubtedly come back to you.

The one that always stands out for me is the Liebster Award, as I was nominated for this same blogging honour back in April 2013.

For anyone who’s unaware of it, the Liebster Award seems to be a viral blogging ‘award’ started back in 2010 or so as a way to highlight fellow bloggers the nominator enjoy and want to highlight to their own readers.  There’s no actual award or anything, but more the knowledge that someone connected enough with what you’ve written to give you some extra notice.

This time around I’ve been nominated by Mark S. Simpson, formerly known as elementalprofundity.wordpress.com, and as I wrote to him at the time, I am very honoured that he nominated me.

Ok, so this happened a couple weeks ago.. I’ve been meaning to write about the nomination and such, but just hadn’t gotten around to it.

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All right, so here are the apparent rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you and link to his or her blog.
  2. You must answer the 10 questions given to you by the nominee.
  3. Nominate 10 of your favorite blogs with fewer than 200 followers and notify them of their nomination.
  4. Come up with 10 questions for your nominees to answer.

(Funnily, if you go to my previous post about being nominated for this, you’ll notice the rules are slightly different, and ‘Liebster’ is spelled differently as well.  LOL)

Now on to the questions posed by Mark:

  1. If you suddenly had the power to change the world, where would you begin this task and why? – By changing how closed minded the world is to anything that isn’t supposedly ‘normal’, and not just with the homophobes of the world.  We should celebrate our differences and embrace it in those around us instead of being hateful or violent.
  2. To what extent do social issues affect your writing or other endeavors? – Here and there, depending on the issue.  I do try to write about what is going on in the world and how it affects my world (if at all), but at the same time there are some things happening in the world that I’ve chosen not to write about, just because it’s been done to death. 
  3. How important is language and are there other ways of communication that we haven’t used effectively? – Language is very important, because without it we wouldn’t be right here writing (and you reading) this post.  I think we haven’t effectively used the power of HUGS to its full potential.  Everyone loves a good hug.  😀
  4. What book most provoked your conscience and caused you to want to do something? – This is hard to pin-point, as I’ve been a voracious reader since I was quite young, and have read many books over the years.  I’d have to say perhaps it was being drawn into the worlds created by Stephen King and Piers Anthony (among others) as a young teen that made me see the power of the written word and awaken a desire to write myself.. although this didn’t manifest until later in life.
  5. Why are bullies still bullying young and old people and what (if anything) can be done to stop it? – Slap them upside the head?  No matter how much we educate people and make them more socially aware of their actions, bullies unfortunately will not go away.  As a society we have such a horrible habit of wanting to put others down to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.
  6. Do you believe our systems of justice are fair and if not what can be done? – I’m no expert on the fairness of the judiciary system, but from different news articles I read, it does seem to be somewhat biased depending on who is making the judgement in each case.  There is no way to not have one’s personal experiences mold what is considered fair or not, because this is different for each person.
  7. What is your greatest fear? – The same as most I suppose – to be alone.  To be forgotten by those who ‘care’ and left to my own devices well into my old age, where most get forgotten.
  8. What is your greatest hope? – Personally, to become self-sufficient in life through my writing, and to be able to live life through my writing.
  9. Which person most influenced the course of your life and why? – This is difficult, because many different people influenced my life in so many different ways.  I’ve never had one particular ‘mentor’ or someone I’ve looked up to.
  10. If you were to paint your self-portrait, in what fashion would you do so and what would it look like? – It would be a stick figure, so for once I’d actually look skinny in a picture.  😉 

Now I’d like to do something different from the usual instructions – nominate the readers who come by all of our blogs, be them fellow bloggers, friends, or people who’ve just found us through Google.  If it wasn’t for the people that read our rants and diatribes, possibly none of us would even be here.

blogging1At the same time, I’d like to ‘showcase’ the following blogs for your reading pleasure.  I’m not listing them to have them continue the Liebster/Leibster Award chain (unless they want to lol), but instead to hopefully get a few of you beautiful readers to check them out .. and hopefully enjoy them as much as I do.

And this list is most definitely not exhaustive, as there are way too many blogs out there that I enjoy to list here (some can be found in my Weblinks section at the top of the page).

Oh.. I will warn you, some of these are NSFW (Not Suitable For Work) so be careful if you’re at work or around little ones.  😀

Enjoy and thanks for coming by.  😀

Why Do I Blog?

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Why do I blog?  Why do I spend my free time writing on this site?  Why do I spend so much time trying to promote this site, and get frustrated when the traffic doesn’t come in?Blogs fail

These are questions I ask myself all the time, and I don’t think there is any definitive answers to any of them.  Though I’m sure I could give some pretty reasonable ones if I just tried hard enough.  😉

I have found it somewhat fascinating to read on other blogs about how they blog, or their rules of blogging and so forth.  And if memory serves me right, I believe there a flurry of such articles/blog posts on similar topics around the same time last year.

Maybe it’s a New Year’s thing where bloggers and writers are doing their best to motivate themselves and remind themselves why they do what they do.  We all set goals or resolutions for the New Year (Click HERE to read mine!!), and perhaps all this self-analytical and self-motivational writing is a way to keep those goals alive now that we’re part way into January.

Or perhaps that particular writer just felt like writing about that subject.  😀  And that’s a great thing.

So why the hell do I blog anyway?

Well… why not?  As I’ve mentioned plenty of times before, I initially started this blog as a way to keep friends and family back home up to date on my travels and the adventure I was having after moving to London.  It was a simpler way to keep my loved ones aware of how things were going without having to send a million separate emails.

Obviously over time this has evolved into what we have today – and will probably evolve into something new at some point in the future – but it’s been a somewhat organic evolution and (I hope) hasn’t seemed forced or contrite. 20140111-100531.jpg Or even too self-serving at times.

But mostly why I’ve continued this blog is it’s allowed me to write on a variety of topics, even sometimes of a personal nature, and it has given me a forum to voice my opinions on things I see around me.  It gives me an opportunity to practice my passion (writing) while reaching out with my voice to connect with others out there, and hopefully start some meaningful and interesting conversations.

And yes, by practicing my passion for writing it also feeds my fantasy of one day becoming a full-time published author/writer, and someone will give me the time (and money) to do this for a living.  *Sigh*  Maybe one day…

Despite that dream, I do find that I don’t tell a lot of people (in person) that I have a blog.  There’s been a few times where I’ve told people of this site only for them to give me looks of pity and slight discomfort on their part, like they felt some kind of humiliation for me.. or perhaps for themselves for talking to me.  Like there was something shameful or a bit sad about being a blogger.  Yeah, whatever..

Then there are those who are overly excited about it and try to give me ‘ideas’ of topics to write about without really knowing what my blog is about.  I’ve had people tell me I should never talk about my own personal life or experiences, or that it should be more about being a bear (gay sub-culture that I don’t fit into I feel..), or that I should show more pornographic content, or any other numerous suggestions. CheekyNone of which really fit what I’ve already got going here.

There was even one person recently (who has read the blog.. and is a dear friend) who suggested that I basically turn this into a sex blog, recounting different people’s sexual experiences, because that would totally drive viewers to the blog.

Admittedly, I do have an idea for a series of erotic fictional short-stories, but I don’t think I’ll be posting them on this site, as I’m not sure they would fit with the tone or crowd that is already here.  Last thing I want to do is to alienate regular or longtime readers while bringing in a more ‘pervy’ crowd.

But of course I have to write them first to see how they turn out.  lol

One of the things I’ve been doing a lot of lately is trying different ways to promote my blog and drive up traffic.  This has been through a variety of websites like Blogsurfer (there’s a button on the right.. ), networking on Twitter (@MPWilson73), and by creating a Facebook page (Click HERE to like the page) for friends to like and share without cluttering up the feeds of those who don’t want to see or read my posts.

Have my viewers gone up since the holidays?  Yeah they have a little, but funnily enough it doesn’t seem to be from the Facebook page which I would have thought would have helped, and there’s only the occasional Twitter hit.  There’s a been a few people to find the Facebook page through their friends or get invites from others, but they don’t seem to be clicking the links over to here.  And they’re not really commenting, liking or sharing the posts.. that I can see anyway.

Of course, all of that will take time and I just need to be patient while continuing to write my little tush off and keep this passion going strong throughout the year.  And need to get off my ass and start writing that fictional series already.  😉

Really hope all of you (and your friends, and your friends’ friends.. hint hint lol) will continue with me on this journey to gawd-knows where.  😀

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