Question: Do you need to have the looks and body of Brad Pitt in order to possibly be considered a good lay in the gay community?
Does having a six-pack, a great butt and a sexy smile automatically mean that a person will be good in bed?
Hell, does it even mean that they are a good person or a good friend?
Ok, so that was three questions, but you get my drift. Our community, as a whole, tends to prejudge the people we meet almost completely based on how a person looks.
Gay men? Shallow? How shocking!
Now, before all you indignant queers start screaming for my head on a stick, let me say one thing: I do not expect everyone who reads this to agree with what I say, and I honestly hope you don’t. The whole point of this is to make you think about yourselves and those around you. And, perhaps, just to make you re-examine the stereotypes our community lives in.
Every person in the world has their own take on the things and events around them. And whether you like to admit it or not, all of us fit into some kind of stereotype.
I want to give you my view on our world because, you see, I am not one of the pretty people. I do not have a great body, the trendiest clothes, or even that much of a disposable income to spend on whatever catches my whim.
I am an Average Queer, and this is my view of things.
This is not going to be one of those columns where I bitch and complain about the privileged few or how I can’t get laid, so stop groaning already. Though, I do readily admit, I wish I was one of the good-looking crowd, and that is just my own insecurities coming to the surface. You can call it envy or what have you, but it is the truth.
Nevertheless, do not start think that I am going to sugarcoat everything with some happy Pride flag, because that is not me either. I do not love everything I see, so if that is what you are looking for, go elsewhere.
Instead, I am going to write about what I see, hear and read that makes me think. No topic – no matter how inane or outlandish – will be safe from my criticizing pen strokes.
Ok, so maybe I will bitch and complain once in awhile, but if that is what I have to do to get my point across, so be it.
Now, just because you are good-looking does not always mean that you are going to get laid more often that the rest of us, but it does seem to be true most of the time. See, another stereotype we all buy into.
I know we all have thought, at one time or another, that if only we were better looking, or had a better body, then we would finally snag that cute guy across the bar. So, off we go to buy trendier clothes, work out harder, or even go on the latest fad diet, just to try to get that cute guy to notice us for once. And I do admit that it might work.
But do you know what is really missing? It is not a funkier hairstyle, the newest Diesel shirt, or even that bit of extra cash for a round of shots at the bar.
It is one thing: self-confidence. Ultimately, we all fear rejection.
The worst that can happen if you actually make the first move on some guy is they may say no. It is not the end of the world, you know, and they may actually say yes. Wouldn’t that be truly scary?
And who knows, one of these days I may actually take my own advice. Perhaps when I see you, you beautiful person you.