Whether you’re newly single or have been single for what feels like an eternity, getting back into the dating scene can seem intimidating. Some seem to think that the second you become single that you should be immediately jumping on the apps or hitting the bars looking for your next relationship.
However there’s no set rule as to how long you should stay single before jumping back into it all. Or even what you should do to get back out there. Sometimes taking that time to be single and enjoy your own life can be beneficial, and your body/mind/soul will tell you when it’s time to get back in the game.
Now, I’m no expert on the dating scene – if I was, I probably wouldn’t be single myself LOL – but here are a few tips on how to put yourself out there and maybe actually enjoy it.
Don’t stress about it
Let’s be honest – dating can be awkward, uncomfortable or downright silly at times, and there’s no point adding pressure on yourself to ‘do well’ right out of the box.
If anything, you should be allowing yourself to just have some fun, see where things lead you, and not worry if it could end with a marriage proposal let alone a second date.
The more you stress over it, the more uncomfortable you’ll feel about the date and the more reluctant you’ll be to even bother trying.
Get out there and mingle
It’s never easy getting back out there on the scene, and one of the difficult things is figuring out where to meet new, interesting, compatible people who you might be interested in romantically. And asking your mates if there’s someone to set you up with isn’t an option, as it could make them uncomfortable.
Instead, get yourself out there and mingle with people you wouldn’t normally meet on a regular Friday night at the local pub. Perhaps joining a social group with a similar interest could open up a whole new world of people that you could relate to. And if you don’t meet anyone romantically, it’ll at least give you an opportunity to meet someone for a new friendship.
Speaking of new friends…
All too often, guys will go looking for a new romantic partner without allowing themselves to be open to a new friendships. Not every new guy you’ll meet will be compatible romantically, so why would you limit your ‘search’ to just new romantic partners?
When going out on the scene again after a break, it’s inevitable that you’ll meet some amazingly interesting guys but there won’t be any romantic spark. Or perhaps there’ll be guys you’ll meet you’ll initially be interested in but it doesn’t turn out.
No point just dropping them on the wayside, as you never know when you’ll meet that great new best friend.
And perhaps that might be the best approach to take, just looking for a new friend or two, and see where things lead.
Go out and have fun!!
Way too often, guys will plan dates as a way to make a good first impression on the other, and will make choices about the date with only that other person in mind. Or they’ll act a certain way because they believe the other guy will like them more for that ‘first date persona’ than the real them.
Don’t allow the date to be more about one or the other person’s interests, but instead organise it around something you both enjoy. Talk to each other during the planning stages to figure out some common interests and go from there.. even if it’s just going for a pint at a pub.
Learn from the rejections
Let’s be fair, not every date you’ll go on will be a home run. And sometimes it’ll be bad, really bad, ending in you being rejected by the other guy. And that is ok. Rejection is part of life, especially when you’re out there trying to date, so why let it get you down?
Instead try to learn from it. Accept the rejection for what it is – incompatibility – and a way to learn more about what you do want in a new partner. The more you think on it, the less likely you’ll be to move forward and meet someone truly interesting.
This post has been inspired by — 5 Gay Dating Tips For Men Who’ve Been Long Term Single – Gay Pop Buzz