Dating Tips for the Gay Singleton

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Whether you’re newly single or have been single for what feels like an eternity, getting back into the dating scene can seem intimidating.  Some seem to think that the second you become single that you should be immediately jumping on the apps or hitting the bars looking for your next relationship.

However there’s no set rule as to how long you should stay single before jumping back into it all.  Or even what you should do to get back out there.  Sometimes taking that time to be single and enjoy your own life can be beneficial, and your body/mind/soul will tell you when it’s time to get back in the game.

Now, I’m no expert on the dating scene – if I was, I probably wouldn’t be single myself LOL – but here are a few tips on how to put yourself out there and maybe actually enjoy it.

Don’t stress about it

characters-couple-happy-love-single-Favim.com-57296All too often when guys try to get back out there after a period of singledom, they tend to put too much pressure on themselves to ‘get it right this time’, so to speak.

Let’s be honest – dating can be awkward, uncomfortable or downright silly at times, and there’s no point adding pressure on yourself to ‘do well’ right out of the box.

If anything, you should be allowing yourself to just have some fun, see where things lead you, and not worry if it could end with a marriage proposal let alone a second date.

The more you stress over it, the more uncomfortable you’ll feel about the date and the more reluctant you’ll be to even bother trying.

Get out there and mingle

It’s never easy getting back out there on the scene, and one of the difficult things is figuring out where to meet new, interesting, compatible people who you might be interested in romantically.  And asking your mates if there’s someone to set you up with isn’t an option, as it could make them uncomfortable.

Instead, get yourself out there and mingle with people you wouldn’t normally meet on a regular Friday night at the local pub.  Perhaps joining a social group with a similar interest could open up a whole new world of people that you could relate to. And if you don’t meet anyone romantically, it’ll at least give you an opportunity to meet someone for a new friendship.

Speaking of new friends…

All too often, guys will go looking for a new romantic partner without allowing themselves to be open to a new friendships.  Not every new guy you’ll meet will be compatible romantically, so why would you limit your ‘search’ to just new romantic partners?

The best ideas for gay datesWhen going out on the scene again after a break, it’s inevitable that you’ll meet some amazingly interesting guys but there won’t be any romantic spark.  Or perhaps there’ll be guys you’ll meet you’ll initially be interested in but it doesn’t turn out.

No point just dropping them on the wayside, as you never know when you’ll meet that great new best friend.

And perhaps that might be the best approach to take, just looking for a new friend or two, and see where things lead.

Go out and have fun!!

Way too often, guys will plan dates as a way to make a good first impression on the other, and will make choices about the date with only that other person in mind.  Or they’ll act a certain way because they believe the other guy will like them more for that ‘first date persona’ than the real them.

Don’t allow the date to be more about one or the other person’s interests, but instead organise it around something you both enjoy.  Talk to each other during the planning stages to figure out some common interests and go from there.. even if it’s just going for a pint at a pub.

Learn from the rejections

Let’s be fair, not every date you’ll go on will be a home run.  And sometimes it’ll be bad, really bad, ending in you being rejected by the other guy.  And that is ok.  Rejection is part of life, especially when you’re out there trying to date, so why let it get you down?

Instead try to learn from it.  Accept the rejection for what it is – incompatibility – and a way to learn more about what you do want in a new partner.  The more you think on it, the less likely you’ll be to move forward and meet someone truly interesting.

This post has been inspired by — 5 Gay Dating Tips For Men Who’ve Been Long Term Single – Gay Pop Buzz

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Dating and the Fat Man

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The other day I was surfing around a site sent to me by my fellow blogger Ivan (ivansblogworld.wordpress.com), and the below article title caught my eye.

7 Struggles of Dating When You’re a Fat Gay Man – Gay Pop Buzz

YES!!  I’m not the only one who finds it a struggle!  Maybe this would be the article that would truly get me.

Quick recap – I’m a 43 year old fat gay man who’s never been in an actual relationship.  I’ve only ever dated guys casually for a bit before they would claim I was getting ‘too attached’ and only wanted something casual.. which usually ended with them having a new boyfriend within about 6 months.

So.. I opened this article hoping to gain some mutual insight into what I’ve gone through in my dating life.  That it was going to be validation for all the years I’ve felt marginalised for whatever reason.  And as I read the first couple of lines I thought I’d found a kindred spirit as there were a lot of similarities.

fat-manBoy… could I have been even more WRONG!!!

The more I read, the more I realised this wasn’t me or my experiences.  Instead, this was someone who’s allowed himself to become so dismissive of himself, his weight, and the gay community that he’s allowed his negativity to feed into his own fat-shaming.

It was to the point where he was obsessive about it.  And he was absolutely adamant that this was the truth for all chubby gay men out there.

Well, No.  His experiences sure as hell haven’t been mine.

So based on his article, I’d like to give my experiences over the years and how I’m feeling.  These aren’t facts or anything other than my observations, and I would never allude that anyone else should feel exactly the same.

Smaller Target Audience

I learned after a few years (and a bit of heartbreak) that there really is a smaller target for bigger guys like me, regardless of what type of guys I found physically attractive… and it sure as hell wasn’t other bigger guys like me (lesbian bears, as I like to call them haha).

At first I thought, because of my own fat-shaming, that I’d have to settle for whomever was willing to have sex with me.  That I was truly ugly and unattractive, so I’d have no real choice in the matter.  But then I found the bear community and the chasers… and I was meeting some pretty gorgeous guys.  And who’d complain about that?  😉

Loneliness is best served cold.. with gravy

Like probably a lot of people out there who have weight issues, I tended to turn to food as compensation when I was feeling down or bad about something.  It was an instant gratification while trying to justify my bad food choices.

Who munches on celery sticks when they’re feeling down?  LOL

Fat_ManBut this is something I’ve recently started working on, mostly because I was starting to feel like my weight had gotten out of control (partly due to quitting smoking I think).  I’m taking it day by day to ensure I’m making good food choices and pairing it was regular exercise (walking part way to/from work).

It’s only been about 2 weeks, but I’m feeling good about it and need to keep it going.

I’m one hell of a hermit

I don’t think I’ve used my weight as an excuse not to go out and be social.  Instead I’ve allowed my laziness to justify why I’ll spend a weekend at home having a Netflix marathon alone.

I think my hermit-ism is more due to my own feelings of being left out by people, and not taking the issue in hand to do something about it (see previous post).  I know there are places I can go and potentially run into someone I know (KA in Soho for instance), but I’ll let my laziness to justify why it’s a waste of time spending an hour travelling into town on the ‘chance’ of meeting someone I knew.  Or someone new.

And that’s not good.

I do alright, sexually.. sometimes

I know I sometimes moan about how I’m not getting laid as much as I’d like to, or even as much as I used to a few years ago.  But at no point have I ever said it’s because I’m fat.  Sure that may limit my possibilities, but it shouldn’t ever stop me.

And no, unlike the original article’s author, I have never paid for sex.  Fuck no.

Instead I know my lack-luster love life is down to my own laziness and not putting myself out there as much as I used to.  If I’m sitting at home all the time, how am I going to meet someone one new and exciting?  Sure, there are the dating apps, but mostly I’m only going to get the same group of guys within my immediate area.

naked-men-in-bedA compliment is a compliment

I’ve never been that great at accepting compliments from guys, mostly due to my own low self-esteem.  Usually I’d just assume they were saying these things just so they could have sex with me (and some of them might have been..).

But I think I’ve done well to get past that somewhat and accept a compliment for what it is.  And if the other person isn’t being sincere, then that’s on them.  I’m not going to spend my precious time over-thinking everything a guy says to me just to figure out if it’s real or not.

We’re homophobic towards each other

I’ve been living out and proud for over 20 years now, and it still never astounds me how much as a community we put ourselves down by ostracising our own sub-sects or stereotypes.

no fatWho hasn’t been to a Gay Pride and watched as all the muscular pretty boys in their little hot-pants get all the cheers and catcalls, while anyone who doesn’t fit that ‘society-approved norm’ basically gets ignored.

However I won’t allow that to affect how I feel about myself.  I go to Pride most years and have a laugh, usually ending up at the bear bar drinking in the streets with everyone else.  And I just get on with my life without allowing other people’s perceptions of who they think I am stop me from having fun.

Never assume to know someone

True, I look like the stereotypical little bear, but that doesn’t mean you know who I am based on someone you’ve known in the past who has a similar look.  Or that because I’m above a certain age with a bit of grey in my beard that I must be a ‘daddy’.  Or that because I’ve attended several naturist parties that I’d be interested in going to an orgy.

It’s all bullshit.  Not one aspect of my life wholly defines me as a person.

BUT…. if I’m being truly honest, I’ve been just as guilty of it as anyone else.  I would see some pretty, young ‘twink’ and immediately think they must be a self-absorbed, fashion-obsessed, obnoxious airhead.  Or that some beefy, muscled out gym-bunny must be dumb as a bag of hammers.  And so forth.

Sadly, this is something we all have to struggle with on a daily basis.  We’ve grown up buying into the stereotypes just as much as we’ve been fighting to get past them, and sometimes still treat people of similar backgrounds as gay clones.


So… what now?

Well, not much really.

It’s not like I wrote this to work through some issue or to justify my actions.  It was more of an exercise to prove that not everyone’s experiences are the same, no matter how many factors you may have in common.

CarrotHowever I do think it’s helped show me that, although my dating life is pretty stagnant at the moment, it truly hasn’t been all that horrible.  That despite never having that relationship I’ve always wanted, I still have met some amazing guys – and yes, some assholes too – that have made the journey so far worth it.

Yeah, shocking as it is, I’m actually feeling somewhat positive about my dating past and the potential for the future.  And that it’s just a matter of getting my lazy ass out there again. LOL

Source: 7 Struggles of Dating When You’re a Fat Gay Man – Gay Pop Buzz

I’m 51 Days Late…

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I’m a bad, bad blogger sometimes..

It’s been almost 2 months – 51 days, to be precise – since my last post of any sort on my poor little neglected blog.  And that last post was a filler type (you know, when I’m not writing anything lol) with a few sexy, semi-naked guys showing off their wares.

I know.. you’ve just hated looking at those semi-clad, Adonises in my absence, right?  😉

So where have I been,?  Well.. mostly I’ve just been home being a lazy twat during the week trying to catch up on the lost sleep from the weekends.

busy diaryThis has probably been my busiest summer in many many years.  Between late June and early August, there wasn’t a weekend where I didn’t already have something planned.  And I barely spent a weekend home in my flat in July.  LOL

And no.. I wasn’t out being a dirty slag or anything quite so exciting.  Dammit. 😉

Let’s see.. how do I update you on a summer’s worth of adventures without writing a dozen pages.. I know, everyone loves a list!  🙂

    • Last weekend of June – London Pride on the Saturday, then rest of the weekend hung over hahaha
    • 1st weekend of July – After arriving back from Rome, I met some friends for a belated birthday party.. then spent the weekend hungover and cat-sitting for my old flatmate.
    • 2nd weekend of July – Spent the weekend with a ‘friend’, going to see the new Ab Fab movie, sleeping over, and then driving around the Kent countryside on Sunday.
    • 3rd weekend of July – NAKEDFEST!!  A naked camping weekend with about 200 other men.. was interesting, but very uncomfortable (note: buy a bigger tent and an air mattress haha)
    • IMG-20160723-WA00034th weekend of July – My dear friends M&B got married!!! I’ve known them almost 7 years, so was lovely to spend their special day with them.. and drinking with M and his best man until 5 am 😮
    • 5th weekend of July – M&B’s NAKED Wedding!! They had a 2nd reception for all their naturalist friends, and it was a laugh.. especially the exchanging of the cock-rings hehe
    • 1st weekend of August – I actually had a whole weekend in London and was able to catch up with a couple of friends on the Saturday night, before heading to another naked house party Sunday afternoon in West London.
    • 2nd weekend of August – Don’t think I did much all weekend other than helping my ‘friend’ with some DIY at his flat on the Sunday and then taking another drive into the Kent countryside.
    • 3rd weekend of August – A well-deserved quiet weekend, mostly spent at home. Oh, and more cat-sitting on the Saturday night.

And that brings us to this weekend, the Bank holiday weekend in the UK.  I’d originally wanted to go away for the weekend and spend it on a beach somewhere, but I never gotten around to arranging anything.

JulietaSo instead, last night was a few drinks with some mates in town, with possibility of more of the same tonight, and then tomorrow I am meeting friends to go see the new Pedro Almodóvar film ‘Julieta‘ at the BFI Southbank near Waterloo.

I’m also trying to update my laptop to Office 2013 from 2007, as I’ve started studying to get my Microsoft Office Specialist certification in Excel 2013.  I’m already well-versed in the software, so once I’ve gone through the official study guide I’ll be taking the exam (hopefully) in the next month or so.

It’s amazing how quickly this summer has gotten away from me.  I haven’t been to a beach since my trip to Rome, and that’s surprising for me!  Most summers, I’m usually down in Brighton a couple times (at least) to spend an afternoon sunning on the nude beach.. but I haven’t been once!  LOL

I’d considered going this weekend, but sadly the weather has dipped down to the low 20’s and a bit overcast after a super hot week.  So definitely not beach weather.

So all in all it’s been a damn good summer, and here’s hoping the upcoming Autumn is just as fun.

Ciao Ciao for now 😉Brighton Beach

Happy (Belated) Pride

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Happy belated Pride to everyone, both near and far.

I know this is late for most people, as like in London, Pride celebrations would have taken place last weekend or possibly this weekend depending on where in the world you’re living.

For myself, Pride can sometimes be a bitter-sweet time as it usually falls around or on my birthday, but luckily this time London Pride fell on the weekend before my ‘big’ day.

I had a lovely day celebrating Pride with some friends, watching the parade (from what I could see past the taller people standing in front of me lol) and then drinking the afternoon/evening away at the usual bear bar in Soho.

But this year Pride has a special meaning for me…

That’s right… my own little blog-space has once again been listed as one of the Top 10 UK LGBT Blogs!!!

This listing comes via a marketing and communications provider called Vuelio.  Along with their corporate work, they also maintain Top 10 Blog Lists that change weekly.

Vuelio is Europe’s leading provider of software for communications, public affairs and stakeholder engagement.  Vuelio offers an unrivalled portfolio of products and services to serve the modern public relations and public affairs professional throughout the UK and Europe.

Here’s the full list:

  1. Fagburn
  2. Pink Wedding Days
  3. The Guyliner (I actually follow this blog!!)
  4. Sarah + Laura
  5. Pink Therapy Blog
  6. Indefinite Adventure
  7. Ramblings of a Supposed Disease Free Mind (that’s’ ME!!)
  8. Yet Another T-Girl Blog
  9. Trade Blog
  10. THE LONDON UNICORN

 

As amazing as this is (and it’s pretty freakin’ amazing hahaha), this isn’t the first time this has happened…

Two years ago I was placed on this same list, when the blog listings were done via a company called Cision (see previous post HERE) and I was understandably gob-smacked this had happened.

love is loveHell, I am again this year.  LOL

To be honest, I hadn’t noticed the email notification or the Tweet (since I don’t go on Twitter that often).  It had only come to my attention when someone had retweeted the posting and it popped up on my mobile notifications.

Admittedly, this all happened a couple weeks ago, just before Pride.  I’d meant to post about it but between Pride itself and then my holiday in Rome, it kinda fell to the wayside.  Oops.

It’s always amazing to get recognition from other bloggers, but to also get it from an outside source that I’d never submitted my blog to is very humbling.  Especially when you take into consideration my sporadic postings over the past year. 😉

But whomever compiled the list clearly enjoyed what they had read, and for that I am extremely thankful.

And I’m thankful to all of you who regularly come by to have a read, leave a comment, share a post, or even just give a like to whatever you’ve been reading.  It’s thanks to all of you that I’m still here and keep coming back regardless of whatever has been happening in my life.

So.. here’s to another year of my little humble blog (which will be turning 8 years old in the Autumn!!), and to all of you for sticking by me through it all.

Love,

Martin x

Striping Away the Insecurities

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Like many people, I tend to be quite self-conscious when it comes to my body.  I was always the chubby or fat kid in school, and have continued to be of a larger size well into my adult years.

I’ve spent many years feeling bad about myself, putting myself down and generally beating myself up emotionally or psychologically whenever I felt I had let myself down regarding my weight.  I’ve repeatedly tried to restrict my diet, deny myself the food I’ve always enjoyed eating, and to get more active.

But of course, despite brief periods of weight loss here and there, I’ve continued to watch my weight rise year on year.  And my own feelings of self-worth fluctuated about as much as my weight did.

Now don’t get me wrong.. I don’t necessarily eat as if I’m running out of food, or am so inactive that I’m beyond lazy.  It’s like anything in life – I know what I need to do, but don’t tend to do it.

cute bums on beachOk, maybe that is my laziness talking there. LOL

I’ve tried several things over the years to help myself to accept my own body image issues, but it’s only been recently that I’ve become more comfortable in my own skin.  And just my own skin.

Over the past couple years, I’ve discovered a love of naturalist beaches, especially after my recent trips to Gran Canaria.  I found on the beaches there that nobody cared what you looked like, and all shapes and sizes were welcome.

On top of this, a close friend of mine convinced me to join a naturalist social website well over a year ago (Nakedmates.co.uk for those who’re interested lol), but I hadn’t done much with it other than poke around, looking at the guy’s profiles and pictures.  And reading about the events some put on, wondering what it would be like to go to one.

Well… all that changed back in April, just before my most recent trip to Gran Canaria.  My mate was hosting a small gathering at his flat in town, and I decided to finally take the plunge and attend.

That’s right.. I went to a naked house party.  And despite my initial nervousness, I absolutely loved it.  It literally was just like any other house party – some laughs, lots of chatting, a bit of flirting, and maybe a bit too much wine haha.

Only difference was that everyone was naked.

The whole ethos of the website is ‘No Clothes. No Attitude’, where members organise parties at their homes, in bars, saunas, and such.

beardy threesomeOne reason I’d been so so hesitant about these parties was it felt like it was so sexualised.  My mate had told me plenty of naughty stories of things that had gone on at these events, and that really isn’t my thing.

But what I found after attending that first party was that it isn’t really like that at all for most of the guys.  It’s just a different outlet to meet like-minded guys in a comfortable and non-judgemental clothing-free environment.

Now don’t get me wrong.. there is a sexual aspect to the parties, but only if you choose to engage in it.  Most hosts when having parties in their homes will set aside a room away from the social areas for those who want to have a bit of fun.  And despite what I might have previously thought, it didn’t turn into full-blown orgies.

At this particular party, I was one of the first to arrive so was already naked when the rest of them arrived.  I think that helped me a bit, where I was only initially stripping off in front of a couple of guys instead of 20 or so. 😉

Of course, the bottle of wine I’d brought helped me relax.  The first half of the bottle went down very quickly. Hahaha

Anyway, the time flew by as I chatted to a gorgeous Danish guy in the kitchen, while some of the other guys drifted in and out of the play room.  Neither of us were interested in joining the frolics, so just enjoyed each other’s company.

Well things have sorted progressed since then, as I’ve been to 2 other parties since.  Including my mate’s naked birthday party last month… where I met a very sexy farmer from Suffolk.

And the parties continue next month.  I’ve agreed to a naked camping weekend up North with over 200 guys from around the country (the sexy farmer promised he’d make it worth my while if I went.. hehe).  And then a couple weeks later it’ll be my mate’s naked wedding!

I admit, it’s not a community I ever considered being a part of, but it’s amazing how friendly and inclusive most of the guys are.  And it’s great to meet guys from so many different walks of life all because of one shared interest.

The upside to all this is how much more comfortable I’ve been feeling in my own skin, and how I keep looking for new opportunities to spent as much time naked at home as I can.. though usually just in my bedroom or when nobody is home.

What I do know is this is a new adventure for me, and it’s one I’m quite enjoying.

Now to see what happens next.. and whether that sexy farmer will keep his promise when we go camping next month.  😉

naked camping

 

Signs You’re Actually a Gay Introvert

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Life can be hard when you’re an introvert, especially in the gay community where those pesky sexy extroverts are getting all the guys you’d love to meet.  And sometimes it can make an introvert wonder whether they’ll ever get their turn at the big relationship-roundabout.

All too often introverts will try to push themselves to be more outgoing (especially at the prodding from their more extroverted friends) and make themselves seem more ‘interesting’ to try and rope in that hot guy.

Unfortunately that’s always doomed to failure, as you’re truly not being yourself.  You’re an introvert and always will be.  And here’s why you’re best to just be yourself.. even if some may consider you ‘anti-social’.

Introverts make great listeners.. but hate small talk

Ever notice how some people will fade back while amongst a group of people chatting about the usual mundane things in life.  That person, most likely, is an introvert since most find wading through that chitchat almost painful.  It’s not always that they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversion, but more that they’d just rather not be bothered.

But start talking about the bigger things in life, be it politics, religious freedoms, immigration, or any other such topics, and the introvert will be more than willing to yak your ear off.  Introverts are thinkers, and are able to fully form opinions about a variety of important topics.

Crowds – love ’em & hate ’em

introverts uniteA lot of introverts have issues being in big crowds of people, be it at some packed club or at some huge house party.  They love being included, but sometimes have to fight their anxieties to jump into the middle of things.

But don’t think the introvert isn’t capable of having fun, because they’ll do their best to enjoy themselves and dance the night away.  It just may be that they’ll keep themselves to the outskirts of the main festivities instead of being in the thick of things.

Oh, and their idea of a truly good time?  Chilling in a cool pub with a few good mates, where they can talk without having to shout at each other.

Truly personal connections are special

A lot of people just write introverts off as being anti-social, which couldn’t be farther from the truth.  The reality is they sometimes have difficulty allowing themselves to open up to others, especially those who they’ve just met.

And it’s more than just a trust issue.  Introverts instinctively can tell who they can show their vulnerable side to, and who they can just laugh with without revealing too much of themselves.  And when an introvert does open themselves up to someone, then that means they see that person as special and precious to them.

Huge flirt vs just being friendly

As much as introverts protest, everyone always thinks they’re a massive flirt because they’re not ones to hide behind a façade.  They’re the most authentic and genuine people you’ll ever meet, and they’ll always be the ones to tell you how it is without any double entendres.  But yet your boyfriend will always drag you away from an introvert in a fit of jealousy.

Quality over quantity

Most introverts have an innate ability to smell the bullshit being spewed around them, and because of that, they’re probably the best people to go to for some quality, no-nonsense advise about most anything.  A lot of them can tell when something has been done to a sub-par standard, and are quite adept at telling the fakers from those being genuine.

Man of mystery

In this day and age of over-sharing (online or in person), introverts are seen as being closed off from others and having an air of mystery about them.  A lot of this has to do with an introvert’s unavoidable requirement of being self-sufficient or independent from those around them, even if it makes people think they’re just being a ‘loner’.  It all adds to their inexplicable appeal.

Introvert-quoteUncomfortable talking about themselves

Introverts aren’t the best at selling themselves, usually allowing for their work to speak for itself when it comes to their work life.  As for their personal life, they’re more likely to give a generic ‘I’m alright’ when asked how they’re doing, instead of spilling whatever drama they’re going through at the time.

They’d rather watch Netflix

Introverts aren’t that great at coming up with those witty Facebook statuses we all love to ‘Like’, though do come up with a few zingers from time to time.  Instead they’d much rather chill out, watch a movie, catch that new documentary, or have one of their famous Netflix marathons.

They’re regularly friend-zoned

Because introverts are great at listening and being there for their friends and family, they regularly get placed in the proverbial friend box.  And this is usually despite all their moaning they just want to find a ‘nice guy’, despite the fact that you’re right there ready for the plucking with a massive crush.

Time causes panic

introverts are specialAs introverts get older, they start to realise that they’ve spent hardly anytime socialising or spending it with their friends or family.  And because they tend to over-think things, they’ll start wondering all sorts of things about their lives – Will I ever find a husband? Where did all my friends go? How’d did I lose touch all these people? Do I even care anymore?

All in all, introverts are loving and amazing people who just need those around them to realise how fantastic they are, and make a bit of effort to crack that closed-off exterior.

This article is inspired by –> 10 Signs You’re Actually a Gay Introvert (Even Though You Try Not to Be) – GayGuys.com

Holiday Dramas and Regrets

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As I wrote back in March (click here for previous post), I’d booked a return trip to Gran Canaria, only I wasn’t going alone this time.  A young Italian mate was coming along, and despite a few misgivings, I’d agreed to allow him to share the apartment I’d rented for the week.

As only casual mates, this holiday was either going to make or break our friendship..  Let’s just say there isn’t a friendship anymore.  I should have listened to my gut feelings about this one.

I’d pre-warned him before he booked his flight that I snore, and we would be sharing a 1-bedroom apartment (2 single beds, thankfully).  Oh and that he’d be seeing me naked, of course.  LOL

He’d said he was fine with all of it, so off we flew to Gran Canaria and somehow ended up in seats next to each other, even though we’d booked our flights months apart.  Small world.

fuck the dramaBut it turned out that he was going to be a bit of a handful over the course of the week, and it quickly felt like I was babysitting a little drama queen.  It didn’t help any that I’d come down with a sinus cold the night before we’d flown away.

Firstly, he complained while we waited to board the plane that he felt gross because he’d hadn’t had time to moisturise that morning (he’s barely 30!), then he moaned at how he was stuck in a middle seat and how uncomfortable the seat was.

Once we’d arrived and picked up the keys for the apartment, he immediately started going on about how we could have found an even nicer place for the money we were paying.  That wasn’t on the 4th floor with no lift.  And that was bigger, probably with separate bedrooms.

*Sigh*.. I think he’d already forgotten that he was tagging along on the holiday I’d booked, not something we’d arranged together.

That night I went to the Yumbo for drinks with my dear friend ‘M’ who was already there on holiday (was there the week before on a naturalist group holiday), and the young Italian tagged along.  He’d left his mobile back at the flat, and I had to ‘remind’ him how to get back to the flat when he left.

snoring guyOnce I got back went to bed, he kept poking me throughout the night, and then complained at length in the morning how loudly I was snoring.  Something he knew would happen, plus the sinus cold probably didn’t help.

I tried to shrug it off, but that night when we were heading to bed, he actually had the nerve to ask me “Could you try not to snore tonight so I can actually get some sleep?”.

Yeah.. the little princess actually said that.

I snapped.

I’m generally a fairly easy going person, but this guy had really gotten under my skin.  After angrily reminding him at length that he was forewarned of my snoring, and I eventually got up for a smoke to cool off before falling asleep on the little sofa.

The best though was the first day on the beach when I simply asked him to put some cream on my back so I wouldn’t burn.  To me, this was a simple enough request of a mate when on holiday together.

But oh no, not for him.  He immediately got really uncomfortable and started going on about how he doesn’t do that sort of thing.  That he doesn’t do ‘public displays’..

Ummm.. huh?!?!

It wasn’t like I was asking him to fuck me on the beach or something.  Haha  Perhaps it was because I was naked and he wasn’t.. it was a nude beach after all.

cute bums on beachBut here’s the kicker… several hours later, he started chatting to a cute German guy and actually offered to put cream on the guy’s back.  That’s right.. he was quite fine with a ‘public display’ when it came to someone he fancied.

What a hypocrite! hahaha

There were a few other little things, silly things, that were annoying when you put them all together. I’m not going to list them all since that’ll take way too long.  Each day there seemed to be a new little drama, and I really didn’t want to deal with it anymore.

Generally after the 2nd day or so, I went off and did my own thing, especially after my mate ‘M’ headed back to London. It’s wasn’t that I specifically tried to avoid him, but I didn’t go out of my way to hang with him.  If we happened to be in the same place, then fine.

Most nights he’d go to bed around midnight, despite the bars not really getting busy until then.  He claimed he didn’t want to miss the beach the next day.. despite the beach not getting really busy until midday.  I was there to have fun, so was out late each night enjoying myself and went to the beach whenever I felt like it.

In the end, it wasn’t as great holiday as the last time, but I did my best to enjoy myself.  I relaxed, got a nice all over tan, and even had a bit of fun with a couple of guys near the end of the week.

I’d still go back again at some point.. but now I know to either go on holiday alone or only with a close friend I know I’d get along with.