London Attacks – The Aftermath


Seven people have been killed in central London after three men drove a van into pedestrians on London Bridge and launched a knife attack on people enjoying a Saturday night out in pubs and restaurants around Borough Market.

Source: BBC News

It’s a scary world we live in these days.

Last night I was snuggled up on my sofa watching a cheesy movie on Netflix when I started to see reports on Facebook about an attack at London Bridge.  What the police have now labelled a terrorist attack, and was quite similar to the on Westminster Bridge several months back.

I read what I could about it, which wasn’t much at the time, until suddenly there were reports of a second attack (by the same men) in Borough Market, which is right by London Bridge.  Reports of men running around stabbing innocent people as they enjoy a usual Saturday night out in the pubs.

By this time, the news-wires were ablaze of different reports and sightings, and Facebook seemed to be filling with statuses asking if people were ok.

And then about almost 2 hours after the initial attacks at London Bridge, there were reports of a possible third attack in Vauxhall (which isn’t anywhere near the first two) … but in the end this turned out to just be a false alarm as it was ‘just a stabbing’ (if there is such a thing..).

What I found scary is a lot of people I know go out in Vauxhall all the time, and many of them were at Royal Vauxhall Tavern for the usual Saturday night frivolities. Even though it was deemed to not be part of the attacks at London Bridge, there was still a bit of a lock-down at the time in the club to ensure everyone’s safety.

And of course, this does hit somewhat close to home for me as Vauxhall was my old neighbourhood.  I’d lived in the area for almost 5 years and loved (almost) every moment of it.  In fact, I only moved out of the area because I couldn’t afford it anymore.

Of course last night the emotions were flowing quite freely as I read the various news reports about the incidents .. and thought it somewhat sad that the Vauxhall situation was dropped from the news as soon as it was determined to not be part of the terrorist attack.  Regardless of whether it was or not, someone potentially lost their life and that should never be trivialised.

Anyway.. the whole point of these terrorist groups attacking cities like London, Manchester and any number of other cities around the world, is to incite fear and distrust amongst those who live there.  There have been tweets from a certain world ‘leader’ trying to use this latest attack to gain momentum for his travel bans… and that’s just sick.

But as scary as it seemed last night, today just feels like another day living in the big wide world.  And that is a damn GOOD thing.  We can’t allow these religious zealots to make us feel afraid to leave our homes, or to live our lives as we normally would.  We can’t allow them to make us feel bad because of where we live or how we live our lives.

Some may think that’s being callous and inconsiderate to those who did lose their lives or were injured in last night’s attacks, but it isn’t really.  Nobody is saying to forget what happened or act like it never did, because that would be foolish.  We’re not going to pretend it never existed.

Instead, we’re going to use this to bolster our resolve to not give into the terror.  To be more aware of our surroundings, and be alert to those who may want to do us harm.  To maintain our way of life without allowing the terrorists to install bigotry or racism against our fellow Britons, regardless of what faith they may maintain.

What it also does is puts certain things in our lives into a different perspective, and those worries or insecurities from yesterday just seem frivolous.  And last night’s knee-jerk reaction that maybe it was time to leave London now seems silly in the light of day.

I count myself quite lucky that I was nowhere near all of the insanity last night, and that nobody I’m aware of was directly affected by it.  But it doesn’t mean that I’m not peripherally affected by it, same as everyone else who lives in this city.

This is the world we live in, and no matter where you go, things like this will still happen.  So instead of running and hiding, it’s all about getting back out there and continuing to enjoy life as it happens.

Don’t give in to the terror.


A Temporary Change of Scenery


I’ve been a bad blogger lately.

I’ve gotten so out of the habit of writing regularly that there’s been loads of things happening that I haven’t written about.  And it’s hard to determine where to start, or even if things that have happened are even worth still writing about.

The biggest thing at the moment is that I’ve moved – temporarily for a week and a half.  I’m cat-sitting for my old flatmate (who I lived with for 3 years in Vauxhall) and staying at his place in Camberwell while he’s away at Bear Week in Provincetown.

Sure, I could have come each day to feed the cat and stay at home, but it would have been a lot of travelling back and forth.  And that would have been especially difficult in the mornings since I start work at 8am… I get up early enough as it is.

But so far it’s been 4 amazing days.

I’d forgotten how great it is to live somewhat (south) central since I moved out of Vauxhall 2 years ago. It is so much easier to go out, see people and get home afterwards, like I did on Friday night after work.

man cooking nakedBut most importantly for me, it’s nice to have an entire flat to myself.  Even if it’s only temporary.

Oh and being able to walk around, go to the kitchen or bathroom, without having to put clothes on if I don’t want to. 😉

I haven’t lived alone since my last couple years in Montreal, and it’s reminded me how much I miss living on my own (not that I can afford to do so in London).

It’s about having the option to just pop down the road to meet up with people – whether they be friends, a date, or even just a shag – without having to pre-plan things hours ahead of time due to transport… though finding shags isn’t a massive priority at the moment. lol

I obviously hate where I’m currently living, both for the location and the environment itself.  It takes me a good hour to get anyway central, and since I’m on a budget I have to find ways to avoid travelling on the tube or trains through Zone 1 (costs me extra per trip and it adds up quickly).

As for the environment itself, I’m not sure if that’s just what it is on face value or if it’s a product of my own discomfort of living where I am.  When I’m home, I’m basically stuck in my bedroom as the landlord is always in the living with the doors closed.  This makes me feel like I’d be intruding on his space or interrupting him in some way.

Or at least that’s the way it feels to me.  I could be making assumptions about it all, but he’s not that friendly when you come right down to it.  At least not in the way I’m used to when living with other people.

Or maybe it’s me that’s become unwelcoming in that environment by shutting myself off in my bedroom.  Hmmm…

Anyway, this experience of getting to live temporarily in an area I already like has given me a new perspective about what I want from a room for rent or flatshare, and where I am now isn’t it.

man in bathSo I think it’s decision time.  I think instead of vaguely looking around at flat ads and hoping to find something that will push me into action, I need to get off my ass and make a move.

I think I need to give my month’s notice so I have a deadline of when I need to move by instead of sitting around saying I’ll give my notice once I find somewhere new to live.

It’s scary to just jump off the deep end like that, and there’s no guarantee that I’ll find the ‘perfect’ place, but if I don’t do it now I’ll end up just staying put and feeling miserable about living there.

But until then, I’m going to savour every moment I’m staying at my mate’s place. 🙂

Alone in a Crowd


Sometimes I think I’m my own worse enemy when it comes to my social life.  I regularly complain that side of life is lacking, but rarely do I seem to do anything to change it.

In fact, I generally spend most weekends at home alone watching Netflix, when I’d really like to be out with people I like and maybe actually enjoying myself.

But when the rare opportunity does present itself, it’s almost like I sabotage myself.

Last Friday evening I was invited to 2 separate birthday parties – one for my Italian mate M, and the other for the partner of a guy I used to play with years ago.  Luckily they weren’t being held at the same time, so I was able to make both parties.

First up was my mate’s party at his Central London flat, where it was pretty chill with just a few people, a couple drinks, and some home-made chilli.  It was a nice low key celebration and it was great to just hang out and chat.

Once they were ready to leave (him and his partner were going to their place in Essex for the weekend), I headed down to Vauxhall to the other celebration at RVT, where it was the Hot Fuzz club night.  I’d been a couple times before ages ago, but hadn’t expected it to be so busy…

Unfortunately the group celebrating the second birthday didn’t show up at the club until almost 1am, by which time I’d been there close to 2 hours by myself, not really knowing anyone well enough to hangout with.

nightclubBecause it so damn busy there and there barely any room to move, all I got from the couple mates there within that group was a wave or smile across the crowd, and then I didn’t really see them again as they disappeared into the crowd with their friends.

I don’t know why, but because these mates didn’t physically say hi to me, it kinda upset me.  And because I didn’t know the other guys there that well, I found myself feeling more and more alone while standing in the middle of a packed nightclub.

Maybe I was expecting too much..

Or maybe I should have made more of an effort to find them in the crowd.  Find them instead of waiting for them to find me, and maybe join their group to enjoy the night.

But I didn’t.

Instead I got more and more frustrated that nobody was making an effort to interact with me (not that I could hear a thing in the club…), and I’d worked myself into such a state that I knew if I stayed, I wouldn’t have a good time.

So I left without saying goodbye to anyone.. not that it seemed anyone noticed I left.

The next day I message my mates about it, and it was interesting the different reactions from them – one was super apologetic and felt really bad about it all; the other seemed to try and blame me for not making more of an effort to find him.

But it’s made me wonder if I truly fit into that group of people.  They’re friendly to me when they see me, but it’s not like I’m generally invited out with them (the birthday invitation was a surprise really).

And on the very rare occasion when I am included, it’s usually by the same one or two people.

People Make TimeI do think it’s funny though, considering this situation.. the one who was super apologetic is always telling me I need to get out more, to be more social.

But when I actually make the effort, he’s off with his friends, seemingly ignoring me (which he ‘says’ he didn’t mean to do).

I do find it hard to ‘fit in’ with these people as they’re all so super social, something I’m not.  I had hoped by hanging out with them that it would bring me out of my shell more, but instead it’s caused me to retreat into it more a bit.

Or maybe I just need to put my own needs and ego aside, and just go with the flow.  Guess we’ll see what happened the next time I get invited to something.

If I get invited that is..

Soooooo Tired…



I’ve been so tired lately, and am barely staying awake as I write this… though today’s tiredness is probably a lot more to do with not getting home until well after 3am last night after going dancing in Vauxhall with a mate.  😉

I’m not sure if my tiredness is a result of a lack of sleep or of my new job keeping me super busy all day.. or a combination of the two.  Most days when I come home from work, all I want to do is curl up on the sofa and read on my Kindle.

Which would explain, for those who visit here regularly, why I’ve only been posting about once a week lately.  I just don’t seem to have the energy in the evenings.  Hell, in the past couple weeks I think I’ve turned my laptop on maybe 3 or 4 times?  In fact, my previous post was done from my iPad, cause that way I could get comfy instead of sitting at the desk with the laptop.

On top of it, I haven’t been to the gym since I started my new job.  It’s no longer on my way home from work, so would take me well out of my way to get there then head home… In fact, in half the time it would take me to get to the gym from work, I could be home relaxing on the sofa.

lazy-monday-8Yep… I’m being lazy.  I know it, I admit it, and I’m enjoying it.  LOL

And what are my plans to change this laziness?  How am I going to perk myself up a bit to rid myself of the regular tiredness?  To be honest, I haven’t thought about it at all.

Lately I’ve just been enjoying life as it happens and not thinking too far ahead.  See where each day takes me without worrying if it’s where I should be.

In the past week, I’ve been out a couple times – last night dancing in Vauxhall as mentioned, and Wednesday night to the monthly bear bowling night in Elephant & Castle – and I spent last weekend with my new Kurdish ‘friend’ in Guildford.

In fact, I think I’ve been out at least once a week/weekend for the past month or so.  When did I become so social?  LOL

A mate of mine said to me a couple times recently how happy I look these days.  I don’t know if I feel particularly happy lately, but I don’t feel UN-happy, which is a very nice change for me. I suppose if I had to label how I’ve been feel lately (besides tired lol), I would call it content –  I’ve got an interesting and demanding job that keeps me on my toes, and I’ve been getting out of the house a bit.

My life isn’t perfect.  I’m still single.  I don’t have my dream job.  I’m not being waited on by a gorgeous hunky man while lounging on a sandy beach… oh oops.  Wrong dream.  😉

Guess what I’m saying is I am happy with where my life is at the moment, regardless of where I would like it to be.  I’m enjoying it right now, and I’m going to continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

Now.. think it’s time to curl up on that comfy sofa of mine to read.. or maybe take a nap.  😀

Young man relaxing on sofa with book

What’s a Love Life Again?


I’m definitely finding it somewhat interesting how, now that I’ve moved to far South London, my ‘love life’ (for lack of a more appropriate phrase) has seemed to come to stand still.  I’m not sure if it’s because I’m going through a slump at the moment, or if it’s just there’s no interested guys.going through life alone

One thing I have noticed is how there just doesn’t seem to be any cute guys in my new neighborhood.  Or at least they’re not on the usual chat and dating apps.  😉

Since I moved to my new place, I’ve only had messages from 2 guys in the area and neither were anyone I’d even consider dating let alone hooking up with (which is all either of them were looking for..).

But the other thing I’ve noticed is how the few guys I’d been sort of seeing or playing with seem to have disappeared now that I’m not living in Vauxhall anymore.  In fact I’ve had a couple conversations where they’ve specifically said I now lived ‘too far’ away.

One guy I used to meet all the time for coffee in Vauxhall used to refuse to come to my old place to hang out because the ‘daddies’ were always home.  So the first Sunday I was here, I’d invited him to join me as I explored my new area, and maybe coming back to mine for dinner afterwards.

Instead he said it was too far away and would cost too much to travel to the area.  Instead he kept insisting I should travel into Vauxhall to meet him for a coffee.. and then got upset because I said no as I was enjoying my afternoon exploring Crystal Palace and the huge park (click here for pics of Crystal Palace Park).

He even went so far to try and make me feel guilty by saying if I was truly his friend then I’d be willing to come see him.. Which I found very interesting when he wouldn’t do the same for me.

But the more I thought about the situation, the more I realised our ‘friendship’ was completely one sided, as he never seemed to be available when I’d suggest meeting up, but always expected me to be available for when he decided he wanted to meet up.

Fuck that.

I remember one weekend when I was still living in Vauxhall.  I’d messaged him earlier in the day about hanging out that afternoon but never heard anything back so I went ahead and made other plans with someone else.  Just before the other guy was due to show up at my place (yes, it was a play-date lol), this mate messaged me that he could meet me in 10 minutes at Vauxhall.. and then got upset when I said I’d made other plans.  As if I was cancelling plans on him.

Anyway not shockingly, I’ve not heard from him since that first weekend in my new place.  It’s extremely clear to me that he wanted a friendship that was convenient for him, not for both of us.

2 men in bedHowever I think where I’m going wrong when it comes to dating (or any sort of love life) is that I continuously sit back and wait for the other guy to define our friendship or relationship or whatever it is.  And in the past while I’ve waited for them to do exactly that, I sometimes can over-think everything.  And when things don’t go how I’d like them to (i.e. a boyfriend or relationship) I get frustrated.

I know what I want, and I’m tired of waiting around for it to happen with someone I want it to happen with..  I’m not asking some guy to marry me after a couple dates, but it just be nice to get to the point where we’ve had a couple dates and want to spend more time together, and not just in a sexual way.

As I’m sure I’ve written numerous times before, I don’t seem to meet anyone that actually wants to date me and I’ve started to wonder if it’s something I’m doing that’s putting them off.  That’s not me being down on myself, but trying to analyse myself and how I approach guys.

Or in my case, not approach guys… wonder if I’m too old to become a nun.  😉

Flathunting Is Over!


Over the past month or so, I’ve spent a lot of my spare time looking at ads for flatshares and studio flats, but wasn’t finding much I actually liked.  As I mentioned in a previous post, Flat Hunting Sucks but luckily all that is over for now.Buy to let properties - 78009726CF001_PARAGON SHARES

In fact it’s been over for a week or two now, but I just haven’t had a chance to write about it all.

The last week or so has been all about figuring out how I was going to move all my stuff to my new place.  Especially since it’s not anywhere near my current place.  More on how that went soon..

Several weeks ago I still hadn’t seen a single place and was getting more and more frustrated about the whole thing.  And was seriously considering giving up the search and just moving with the couple I currently live with to their new place down the street, despite my not wanting to live with them anymore.

In fact, a mutual acquaintance of theirs and mine (ok, he’s their friend, and a shag of mine lol) kept saying that I should just move with them since I already know them.  That it would be easier to do that since I already know their habits and such.

Well that was exactly why I didn’t want to move with them. Hahaha

Anyway, I kept finding I’d make arrangements to view places only for it to not happen for one reason or another.  I had a couple cancel the same day I was due to see the place, another arrange a possible viewing only to tell me the day of she was booked up, and yet another who made an appointment to see her flat only to never send me the address and never reply to messages asking for it.

It definitely was not fun at all.

Since I live in Vauxhall and my new job is right by the station, I was hoping to be able to walk to work so was specifically looking for something nearby.  Or was at least an easy and quick commute away.

In the end, I only saw 3 different places..self01_3405_01

One of the first ads I’d replied to finally got around to arranging a viewing one Friday after work several weeks ago over in Stockwell.. only for me to find out once I got there that it was in the middle of a dodgy-looking council estate that a former mate of mine used to live on.  And I never felt safe going to visit him there.

The second place I saw was a lot farther out down near Crystal Palace and would be anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour to get to work each day including the walk to the rail station.  The difference with this place was it was a maisonette house on two floors with a little back garden and was really nice and cozy.  And the owner and I got along right off the start (I’ve promised him I wouldn’t discuss him on my blog, so that’s all I’ll say about him).

Then the third place was just down the street from my work, and yes was on another council estate that was cleaned up and looked nice.. too bad the flat itself wasn’t.  It literally looked like student housing, and most of the walls weren’t even properly painted after someone had patched up holes or something.  Very disappointing.

Can you take a wild guess which place I went for in the end?

That’s right.. after four and a half years of living in Vauxhall, I’m moving out of the gaybourhood down near Crystal Palace (it’s about a 15 minute walk away).  The new area is alright, nothing swanky or exciting though does need a bit of work.  And it is entirely residential – I think the closest shop of any sort is a good 10 minutes walk away towards Crystal Palace – and there’s a decent sized park (Norwood Park I believe it’s called) just around the corner really.Crystal Palace Park

And of course there’s the park at Crystal Palace with the ‘dinosaur’ statues or whatever they are.  Will definitely have to take a look at all that.

It’ll be odd living so far away from Central London after all these years and not being able to just run into Soho or wherever within no time at all, but maybe it’ll be a good thing.  I’ve been tired of the same old scene for ages now (in fact it’s a rarity that I actually go out on the scene itself), so it’ll be a breathe of fresh air to live somewhere new.  I just need to find my way around and figure out where the local haunts are.

Maybe once I get settled I can find a local to show me around a bit. 😉

Being Aware of Your Surroundings


It truly astounds me how some people when they’re in public are completely oblivious to their surroundings, and how their actions affect those around them.

The other day after work I needed to do some flathunting but didn’t feel like sitting at home, so I grabbed my handy laptop and went to the Pret near Vauxhall station.  Not really anything out of the ordinary, as I’ve spent many afternoons and evenings there over the past year while I’ve been looking for work and working on my course (that I really need to get back into…).Man in coffee shop using laptop computer

Tonight as I was looking through flat ads and doing my best to not feel frustrated that I’m not finding anything I actually like (maybe I’m being too picky..), this couple came in and were kind of demanding while being oblivious to those around them.

Firstly they weren’t happy that there wasn’t an easily accessible power socket where they were sitting (to plug in their laptop), and wouldn’t move to where there was one because the seats looked less ‘comfortable’.  It’s not like the staff could move the outlet or would offer them an extension cord, so not sure what they were expecting.

Then the wife (I’d assumed they were married, but who knows) complained that the music was too loud where they’d chosen to sit – Right underneath the speakers.  Go figure. So she made the husband ask the staff and ask them to turn the music down… which the staff did readily enough, since the whole point is to make a comfortable environment for their customers.

The music didn’t really bother me that much, but admittedly it was a little bit louder than it needed to be I guess.  It wasn’t so loud that they wouldn’t have been able to hear each other though.

The more they sat there, the more it seemed like they were work colleagues working on a project as they kept referring to something on the laptop.. which is fine, but if you’re going to have a work conversation in public it really shouldn’t be so loud that anyone sitting around them could hear the entire conversation.  I highly doubt the other patrons wanted to hear about their work project or wCandy Crushhatever it was they were working on.

But the most annoying thing was while they were looking at something on the laptop, the guy was playing around on his mobile and every time he pressed something it beeped out loud.  In fact, it sounded like he was playing some game like ‘Candy Crush’ or something where he had to make a series of moved and then got a different tone when he reached a goal.

I just think if you’re going to be out in public for whatever reason, you should have enough sense to limit any disturbances to those around you.  And why would you bother having your mobile’s sound turned on while in a public place?

Of course none of this was so super annoying that I felt a need to say something to them or to the staff.  It was more mildly annoying and a little amusing that they were so oblivious to the other people sitting around them.  The guy sitting beside me (who was between myself and those two) kept rolling his eyes and smiling whenever I’d look over to find the source of the noise.

Maybe I’m just more aware of myself in public, or less willing to force what I’m doing on other people.  For instance if I was in a cafe with my laptop and wanted to watch a video on YouTube or something, I’d ensure I had a pair of headphones plugged in before I even considered pressing play.

To me it’s just common courtesy to do something like that.  Hell, I don’t even like having phone conversations in public places because I don’t want to bother other people, as well as ensure my conversation is kept private.WomanTalkingonPhone-660x427

I guess everyone has their own ideas of what is appropriate behaviour in public.. Or even at home when you’re sharing a flat, but that’s a totally different conversation.

Flat Hunting Sucks


So now that I’ve got the job situation sorted for the moment, I’ve now got to find a new place to live.

Yeah I know.. If it’s not one thing, it’s another with me these days.  😉

The day I was offered my new job, I also found out I have to move.  The older couple I rent my room from received a letter from the landlady that they were going to take possession of the flat again.  In other works, move back into the flat themselves instead of renting it out again.

Basically it’s the standard excuse when a landlord wants a tenant to move out for whatever reason before the end of the current lease.Buy to let properties - 78009726CF001_PARAGON SHARES

The guys seemed surprised they were being asked to move after over 3 years of living here since, in their eyes, they’ve been great tenants.

Of course I don’t know the whole story… And to be honest, it’s really none of my business per se, except now I have to move as well.  The little I did find out from them is that they haven’t always been that good with paying the entire rent on time for whatever reason.

It does make me wonder where the rent I’ve been paying has been going.  I’ve always ensured my rent was paid in full and on time despite my unemployment and my benefits not fully covering the rent.  Not to mention that there are two of them and only one of me.

But again, not my problem.  If they haven’t been paying the rent on time or in full, then it’s them that could potentially get in trouble for that, not me since the landlady doesn’t even know I’m there (they weren’t supposed to sublet the second bedroom out apparently..).

So now I’ve got the fun job of trying to find a new place to live as soon as I can.  The letter they received did give them until mid-October, but they’ve put a bid on a place that they’d be looking to move into by end of August or beginning of September and are hoping the landlady will let them move out sooner.

Though I think they’ll get a nasty shock when the landlady demands for the rent for the rest of the time.  I’m glad they were agreeable to use my deposit for August’s rent instead of waiting until I move out, as who knows if they’d have the money then (not that they do now either..).

Yes ‘M’, I took your advice.. lol

They did ask if I’d be interested in moving with them, but I’m very reluctant to do so.  I thought about it and even went to see a couple flats with them, but I’ve wanted to move out for about a year now for a variety of reasons.  I only haven’t sooner since it would have been difficult with my not working and trying to find a place that would accept someone on benefits.

When I got this new job I was hoping to stay there for at least a couple months before I started looking for a new place to live, but whatever.. It is what it is.

It hasn’t been easy…  Since I’m on a much lower salary than I was at my previous job, I’m trying to find spareroom-logosomething I can afford that is basically walking distance to Vauxhall so I don’t have to worry about transport costs.  The problem with that is it’s not exactly cheap to live around this area.

I’ve found a bunch of ads that are kind of within my price range, but are again renting a room in flatshare with strangers. I’ve replied to a bunch of these ads, as well as placing an ad myself on, but have only had a handful of responses.

I’d hoped to find a somewhat decent studio to live in by myself, but all of these seem to be too expensive, too far away from Vauxhall, or are complete shit-holes.  Or all of the above.

How people can consider a small basic room with a hot plate and a shared washroom a flat is beyond me.  These are called bed-sits here in the UK.. to me that’s just another flatshare..

The bedsits I've seen don't look anywhere near this NICE..

The bedsits I’ve seen don’t look this NICE..

I wish I could find a place like the studio flat I had back in Montreal.  It had a nice big living area with room for a double bed, full couch, computer desk, tv stand, coffee table.. and still had room left to store my bike, and possibly could have had a small dining table as well.  It wasn’t the best building, but it was home for just over 2 years.

Admittedly, you’d be lucky to find some full on 1 bedroom flats that were that size here in London, and they’d probably be expensive as hell.

If I could afford it, I would move farther out and commute into work but that just wouldn’t be possible on this salary with all the bills I now need to catch up on.  I need to keep my costs as low as I can now (or at least until I can get a promotion and move up at work..).  Even if it was a simple bus commute I’d be okay with that since I still have my Job Seeker bus & tram discount for the next few months.

Well I guess we’ll see how it goes.. and hopefully I can find somewhere asap.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.  🙂

Abandonment or Over-reacting?


Sometimes I can’t believe how rude and insensitive some people can be towards their so-called friends.

Last night I went to a going away party for one of my old colleagues, as she and her husband are moving to southern Switzerland on Sunday. They are such lovely people, I just had to make sure I got to see them before they left.

So I figured I’d invite my Portuguese friend C along since he works at the same company and we haven’t seen each other in ages.  Even since he moved to North London, and I stopped working at the office in Richmond, we don’t really see other that much, or even hear from each other for that matter.

Surprisingly he actually agreed to come along (usually he’s already got other plans), and C suggested maybe later after we’ve left the party that maybe we could go to Tonker (muscle-bears) at The Eagle in Vauxhall.  I said I’d think about it.

Anyway, the leaving party was a lot of fun and it was great to see some faces I hadn’t seen in ages, though we decided to leave and make our way to Vauxhall around 10:30 or so.

I can’t remember if it was on the way there or if was earlier that he’d mentioned he was going to Tonker because one of his neighbours he’s been doing some music with had invited him .. and it wasn’t until after we got to the club that I found out that the guy was a recent shag or a potential shag (was hard to hear in there).

Once we’d arrived, C texted his ‘friend’ to see where he was, and the reply he got back made it seem like the guy had already left to catch the last tube home.  After that C didn’t seem that thrilled to be there, and even mentioned about heading home after finishing the drink he was working on at the time.

Around 12:30 or so, the neighbour suddenly popped up and said he was headed to the tube right then.. so my friend took off with him, leaving me at the club with barely a goodbye.  That’s right.. he’d invited me out and then abandoned me when his mate was leaving.

Needless to say, I wasn’t much in the mood to stay at the club after that.. I’d only gone because I hadn’t seen him in ages and wanted to hang out.  I’m not a big fan of that place on Friday nights, as it’s generally full of self-absorbed assholes.  (my opinion only..)

So about an hour or so ago, C gave me a call asking how the rest of my night was and seemed somewhat shocked when I got angry about being dumped like yesterday’s trash when his neighbour showed up.  He even went so far to tell me he thought I might be over-reacting about it all.  After all we did hang out for about an hour or so … to which I responded ‘So I’m only good to hang out for an hour or so then? Thanks..’.

In the end I just got so pissed off at his nonchalant attitude towards it all that I told him to ‘fuck off then’ and hung up the phone.  Ok, so I’ve got a bit of a temper..

To me, if I’ve invited someone out, then my plan for the evening is to spend it with that person.  The last thing I’m going to do is drop them if someone else shows up, regardless if it’s about making sure I could get home (that was his excuse for leaving me at the club like that.. because otherwise he wasn’t sure how he’d get home, despite us looking it up on TFL).

And if his only reason for going to the club was to meet up with his neighbour (shag or not), then why the hell did he invite me to begin with?  Or was it more he just wanted someone to hang out with until something better (i.e.: his friend) came along because he didn’t want to be at the club by himself?

So.. I’m asking all of you: Did I over-react or do I have a right to be pissed off at his behaviour? 

I’d love to hear your opinions of this situation.

The Flat: An Update


As it was recently pointed out to me by my soon to be new flatmate James, I really haven’t given an update as to what is now happening with us regarding our living situation.  The last update I gave was in the posting ‘What now…‘, so please go back and read it if you need a refresher.

And to be honest, quite a bit has happened since that last posting.

Well to start off with, we didn’t so much lose the Victoria flat as we gave up on it.  Especially at the end of that week where the agent was just pushing way too hard for us to do something to get everything sorted.  It got to the point where, on the Friday, I literally had had enough of it all, and told the agent off.

He had called, while I was at work, to find out if my payroll manager had called to say that I was actually a permanent employee, not temporary like I’d originally put on the form.  I told him I’d emailed her first thing that morning, and hadn’t heard anything back, which is when he said that I needed to do something more than just email her and should physically go to her to see what she can do.  It wasn’t so much what he said, as how he said it, like I was some child who needed to be guided by the hand.

I literally told him that, if having my payroll manager call in for me doesn’t pay off, then we would be asking for our deposit back and going elsewhere.  We’d had enough.

After I gave him what for, he texted me saying he was sorry he was pushing too much and that he was very frustrated by the whole situation.  He was frustrated??  Did he not realize how much stress the whole situation had put on the two of us?

Anyway, while all this was going on, James had been busy checking out some other listings online and had booked a couple of viewings for us for Saturday.  Only problem was I had a birthday/going away party I had to go to in the afternoon, so wouldn’t be able to go to all the viewings.  Turned out I didn’t need to worry about that…

Originally, we were supposed to see this one place at King’s Cross that looked absolutely beautiful and was right by the station.  Unfortunately, it got snatched up the night before we were to see it.

The second one, that I wasn’t originally too keen on because of the location, was situated down the street from Caledonian Road Station.  The flat itself was alright, nothing spectacular, except it was a pretty small 2-bedroom.

The next one we say was a 2-bedroom Mews house near Oval in a gated community where a couple of James’s friends already live.  We were early so went to theirs for tea and chat while we waited for our appointment.  That place was nice, but again was fairly small (narrow), and we weren’t completely sold on it .. even though it was much cheaper than anything else we’d seen.

That same realitor had a second place to show us, and since I’d already told my friend I’d be a bit late for his party, I went along to see it.  And it’s a good thing I did .. it was absolutely gorgeous!!!

This flat is in a house broken up into 3 flats, and the flat is on the top floor .. and is a split level flat, overlooking Vauxhall Park, and is a 5 minute walk from Vauxhall Station.  There was already some furniture there so we could see where everything would fit, and we both agreed as soon as we left the place that this was ‘the one’.

imageresizeaspxAnyway, to make an already long story shorter, James called the agency and told them we were interested, and that we’d do a 1-yr lease with no break-clause (this was to try to sweeten the deal for the landlord, as there was another couple interested in the place already).  That Monday morning, we got an email from the agency with the online application, which both of us filled out right away.

The next day, the agency was already contacting our employers for references (had already prewarned my payroll manager..), which were sent back same day.  A few days later we got confirmation that our move in date would be March 16th.

That’s right, we got the flat!!

All we’re doing right now is waiting for the lease itself to show up so we can sign it, pay the remaining rent, and then start moving in.  I’ll be moving in right on the 16th, as that is when I told my current flatmates I’d be gone, and James will be moving in the following weekend.

Can’t wait to get in there already!