Are We Friends or Not?

Standard

I’m finding it harder and harder at times to determine if some people are actually my friends or are just there for when it suits their needs.

I’m not talking about those who are in my day to day life, but more of those who only pop up when it’s convenient for them.  Where you’ll go months and months without hearing from them, then suddenly they want to know your life story, a ‘catch up’, in a sentence or two.

As if that’s even possible, even if you have such an uneventful life like me.  LOL

But the funny thing is how they react when you call them on their shitty ‘friendship’.  Some try to put it back on you because they haven’t heard from you either.. which can be a fair point sometimes.  And some will just apologise but not explain why you haven’t heard from them.

sexy turkI bring this up as I got a message yesterday from a sexy Turkish/Bahrainian guy I used to play with from time to time.  I’d last heard from him briefly at Christmas, and then his previous message was probably close to 6 months before then.

We’ve known each other for at least 3 years now, and I used to regularly message him to meet up, but he never could because of family commitments (separated from his wife, lived with his mother and had partial custody of his son..).

Or if we did agree to meet up, it was usually somewhere that was convenient for him but not for me… Many times I’d travelled to North London when I lived in Vauxhall only for him to cancel.  One time I got his cancellation message as I got there, only for him to message me a couple hours later that he could now meet.. meanwhile I’d already travelled back home.

Very frustrating, especially when we got along so well, both personally and sexually.

But after awhile, I got sick of his excuses why he couldn’t meet up.

I eventually told him that if he wanted to spend time with me then he needed to make the effort to organise it, to ask me to meet up and such.  That I was done chasing after him, that this one-sided friendship wasn’t fair on me.

religionObviously I’m not so shallow to be blind to the issues he has reconciling his bisexuality and his religion. He and his family are devout Muslims so it’s extremely difficult for him to accept his attraction to chunky guys.

In his mind, because of his upbringing, sex between two men is considered dirty and unnatural, and most definitely against everything he’s been brought up to believe in.  At one point he actually thought there was something wrong with him physically or psychologically and was looking to go to a doctor to try and ‘fix’ it.

And of course, nothing I could say to him during those periods could convince him otherwise.

Religious misconceptions aside, the most frustrating thing was how he’d never reply to messages.  Or if I sent him a message that expressed any sort of dissatisfaction with his side of our ‘friendship’, then I wouldn’t hear from him again for another couple months.

I got so frustrated by it all yesterday that I actually told him to grow a pair and be a man already. To love who he wants to love, not who others tell him he should love.  That if he likes me as much as he keep saying he does (it’s his usual spiel) then he should make an effort to see me.

sexy beard2Yeah.. that was all probably unfair of me. He can’t help that he’s been brought up in a different culture that makes people think if they don’t live a certain life then they must be a bad person.  That any deviation from the ‘norm’ would result in losing everything they hold dear.

From what I’ve gathered he’s decided to just not bother meeting me because he can’t (or won’t, not sure..) give me what I’m looking for.  I don’t expect a marriage proposal from him or anything, just be nice to spend some time together.  Even if it was just as mates.

Or maybe I’m just expecting too much from him..

Love, Religion & The Grammys

Standard

For anyone who’s been living under a rock the past few days, something absolutely beautiful and historic happened on The Grammys on Sunday night – Samelove33 couples, straight and gay, were married live while gay anthem ‘Same Love’ was performed by Macklemore, Ryan Lewis, Madonna and Mary Lambert.

It was absolutely touching and hanky worthy as you could feel the love in the room as these couples were wed by Queen Latifah .. I don’t think she actually officiated, as I think I saw a priest or minister of some sort with the couples.

For those that missed it, here’s the clip:

You crying yet?  I know I was when I watched it.  It wasn’t about the artists or the show itself, it was about showing the world that love is love, regardless of your sexuality.

At least that’s what I got out of it.. whereas others didn’t see it that way, with many taking to Twitter with anti-gay chatter against this display of love.  According to an article on The Huffington Post, hateful Tweets were sent by people likethe American Family Association’s notoriously anti-gay Bryan Fischer, as well as Fox News’ Todd Starnes, among others

Click HERE to read the full article

Most of these messages against what occurred on The Grammys spouted ‘family values’ or that the event was ‘anti-Christian’.

Just one example of the anti-gay Tweeters

Just one example of the Tweets trying to turn the ceremony into something that it wasn’t.

Personally I don’t get it or how these people can’t see how beautiful and unique this was.  This was not done to be political or to ‘affront’ those with supposed Christian or Family values.  This was done to show the world that love is an amazing thing and should be rejoiced not put down.1555471_252559691571971_1428508902_n

I don’t generally get too into discussing religious beliefs, let alone criticising them, but I personally think it’s these so-called religious groups that should stop to take stock of their values and message, since they seem to be well off the page they claim to be preaching from.

For example, from what little I know about Christianity, doesn’t one of the values under the Trinity state that ‘God loves everyone unconditionally’?  Wouldn’t that mean the message of ‘God’ would be to love one’s neighbour and embrace everyone?  Nowhere in this article on BBC about the basics of Christian beliefs does it say anything about spouting hateful remarks against those that are different, let alone anything against Homosexuals.

Personally I think somewhere along the way these religious groups have lost their ‘righteous’ path and need to work on leaving the hate behind to focus on the love.

Don’t think that I’m anti-religion, because I’m not.. sort of.  I can understand some people’s need to follow a set of beliefs as a way to live their lives, be it through how they were brought up or something they’ve found later on in life.  There are many people who are quite happy with their beliefs and are still able to love those around them for who they are, not based on who they love.

Everyone has a right to their beliefs and to stand up for those same beliefs, just not in a manner that is hateful and hurtful to those that oppose them.  There is no one single set of beliefs every person in the world should adhere to.  As long as people are good and live their life authentically, who’s that truly harming?

In the end, love is love, regardless of who you love.  There just needs to be more love in the world.

never apologise

Russian Coach Claims Gay Conspiracy over Olympic Wrestling

Standard

So I recently saw this article on PinkNews.co.uk, regarding the vote by the International Olympic Committee (IOC) to cut wrestling from the list of sports confirmed for the 2020 Olympic Games.  The sport will have to compete for a spot in those games alongside seven other sports.Tarik+Belmadani+Olympics+Day+10+Wrestling+NmQ4JQ5FDVLl

According to the article, the reasons behind this decisions weren’t given despite it being one of the oldest Olympic sports, however it was speculated that it was due to low television ratings.

Anyway, that’s not really the point of the article.  The main point is over the comments made by Russian coach Vladimir Urumagov, who speculated the sports demotion was due to a ‘gay conspiracy‘.  Mr Uruimagov, who coached London 2012 champion Alan Khugaev and Athens 2004 champion Khasan Baroev, called the decision “a blow to masculine origins.”

“If they expel wrestling now, that means that gays will soon run the whole world.”  He continued: “It turns out this committee [the IOC] is headed by representative of these minorities,” and clarified he meant “sexual minorities”.

“It is necessary for millions around the world who understand that this is a man’s sport and who understand the need to continue the human race to go out and explain their position to the Olympic Committee,” he said. “We should prove and explain that in any other case there is no future.”

Ummmm… what?!?

Anyone else lost as to his reasoning and how the removal of wrestling equates to a gay conspiracy?  In fact, I’d think it be the opposite.. that gays would WANT wrestling in the Olympics so they can watch hot, fit men grabble in tight-fitting lycra.

Or maybe that’s just me. LOLstretch

Now I’ve heard of many things being blamed on us poofs over the years, and this one definitely ranks up there with the most silliest.

The following, according to someone somewhere, were all gay people’s fault (as noted in THIS Guardian article):

Are us gay boys and girls really that scary that they need to make up stories about us, to vilify us as if we’re all the boogy-man?

These so-called religious and political leaders are just using our community as a scapegoat, as a harbinger for a perceived ‘evil’ that isn’t there.  In fact, one US pastor has even been quoted as saying “God is systematically destroying America,” because of the gays.

Well.. I think if this ‘God’ is actually destroying the supposed ‘land of the free’, then I really don’t think it’s because of the gays.  If anything, I’d think (and yes, this is my opinion) it’s because of all the religious fanatics who are trying to keep the US in the stone ages and from progressing in Human Rights .. and it’s telling them to catch up with the rest of the free world.

Or maybe, just maybe, all these things happened because they happened, because of our society’s misuse of the planet (weather disasters) or because some people are just bad inside (paedophiles, shootings, etc).  Or maybe sometimes shit just happens, shocking as it may be.

It’s not because us gays just want to live our lives the same as everyone else, with the same rights and freedoms.

We are all equal.  Get over it.

Pope Benedict Calls it Quits

Standard

Well.. don’t think anyone was expecting that.

This morning, Pope Benedict XVI has announced he will be stepping down from the papacy, stating he no longer had the mental and physical strength to cope Popewith the demands of his ministry.  He becomes the first pontiff to step down since the middle-ages.

(Click HERE for the full story)

In a statement, the pope said in order to govern “…both strength of mind and body are necessary, strength which in the last few months, has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognize my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me.  For this reason, and well aware of the seriousness of this act, with full freedom I declare that I renounce the ministry of Bishop of Rome, Successor of Saint Peter.”

According to some recent reports, the Pope has looked increasingly frail in public, sometimes being helped to walk by those around him.  He is apparently suffering from Parkinson’s Disease, which would prevent him from fulfilling his duties.

This announcement has surprised everyone, including his own closest aides who were unaware he had planned to step down.

His history has been widely publicised – being elected Pope John Paul II’s successor, to his time in the Hitler Youth in World War II (though was never an actual member of the Nazi party, and has confronted his country’s past when visiting the Nazi death camp at Auschwitz).

But oh has there ever been scandal…

  • Child abuse scandals plagues his papacy, though he did order an official inquiry into the abuse in Ireland which lead to several cardinals resigning.
  • In 2012, his own butler was revealed to be the source of leaked documents ‘alleging corruption in the Vatican’s business dealings‘.
  • During a lecture at a German university, he offended the Islamic/Muslim community by quoting a 14th century Byzantine emperor as saying ‘Islam had only brought evil to the world and that it was spread by the sword‘.
  • Rejected the use of condoms in order to prevent the spread of AIDS/HIV.  Instead has suggested chastity, fidelity in marriage, self-denial and anti-poverty efforts in Africa, even going so far as stating the use of prophylactics actually increases the spread of the disease (due to increased sexual activity).
  • In March 2012, he stated that straight marriage should be defended from “every possible misrepresentation of their true nature”, and most recently condemned gay-marriage during his 2012 Christmas address.

For me personally, I couldn’t care less if there was a Pope in Rome or not.. and it’s not just because I’m not a religious person (some may call me an Atheist..).  I’ve never been a fan of organised religion, mostly because of how a lot of them (not all) tend to try and force their beliefs down your throat.. and are never willing to discuss an issue.

I respect others that have their own religious beliefs (regardless of the religion itself), as everyone is entitled to have their own opinion.. as long as they are willing to allow me to have my own belief system.  If someone wants to discuss the theology of some issue, let’s do so.. as long as it’s an intellectual discussion and not a lecture on what the ‘Bible says’.

Personally I feel the Catholic Church itself an archaic organisation and holds to a belief system from centuries past.  And to me, just doesn’t reflect the true nature of life in current times.

Maybe I’m just a realist and want some physical proof of the supposed ‘teachings’ in the Bible .. which to me is just a book (a work of fiction in fact..) that’s been repeatedly rewritten to promote the message of those who’ve commissioned the revision itself.  And like any ‘book’, it is open for interpretation by those who choose to read it.

I don’t think that’s blasphemy.. that is my personal opinion.

And blasphemy would indicate a belief in something other than in life itself.

Marriage Equality: MP’s Back Gay Marriage Bill

Standard

To follow up on yesterday’s posting (Click Here), we now all know that MP’s held their vote last night after a full day’s debate over the proposed Gay marriage voteMarriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill.

Anyone who’s been watching the news will know the results, but I’ll post them anyway: the bill has been passed by a vote of by 400 to 175 (a majority of 225).  According to the BBC Website:

Their decision to back the bill at second reading signifies that they approve of it in principle. The legislation will now receive more detailed parliamentary scrutiny.

If it becomes law, the bill will enable same-sex couples, who are currently able to engage in civil partnerships, to get married in both civil and religious ceremonies – the latter only with the consent of religious institutions.

Of course, whenever anyone brings up same-sex marriage there’s always talk about the churches and their ‘rights’.  I personally think the 20081113_protest_560x375churches have way too much say in all this, especially when I don’t believe most gay people will suddenly want their weddings in a church that doesn’t accept them.

However this bill has specifically stated that churches will not be ‘forced’ to perform same-sex marriages, and there have been stipulations put in place in this bill to safeguard them.

The ‘quadruple lock’ as promised by Culture Secretary Maria Miller for religious groups who oppose gay marriage involve:

  • No religious organisation or individual minister being compelled to marry same-sex couples or to permit this to happen on their premises
  • Making it unlawful for religious organisations or their ministers to marry same-sex couples unless their organisation’s governing body has expressly opted in to provisions for doing so
  • Amending the 2010 Equality Act to ensure no discrimination claim can be brought against religious organisations or individual ministers for refusing to marry a same-sex couple
  • The legislation explicitly stating that it will be illegal for the Church of England and the Church in Wales to marry same-sex couples

Meaning, if the big guys upstairs haven’t said yes, the little minister around the corner who thinks everyone is equal can’t perform the marriage.

You know, I can kind of understand that these religious organisations need this kind of pandering to try and make them feel better about the whole issue (it hasn’t, they continue to lobby against the bill anyway..).  But it makes me think ‘What are they truly threesomeafraid of?’.

It’s not like we’re planning to take over their churches, synagogues, or mosques (yes, it’s not just the Catholics or Anglicans..), or force them to perform some unspeakable act during a marriage ceremony.

All the gay community is looking for is to be treated equal to their straight counterparts.  And let’s be honest, a ‘civil partnership’ is not the same thing and perpetuates the notion that same-sex relationships are not as valid as heterosexual ones, and the legal rights are still not exactly the same as those conferred by marriage.

Home Secretary Theresa May and Equalities Minister Lynne Featherstone say:

“Put simply, it’s not right that a couple who love each other and want to formalise a commitment to each other should be denied the right to marry.”

It’s great to see common sense is finally paving the way towards proper equality.

Gay Marriage: MP’s Debate and Vote

Standard

So finally today, after years of debate and of ‘civil partnerships’ being allowed for gays and lesbians, the British parliament are voting on a bill that would legalise gay marriage in England and Wales.  It has also been called ‘equal marriage’ by some.

I would just call it marriage.  Gay or not, it’s the same thing to me.

The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill would enable same-sex couples to get married in both civil and religious ceremonies, where a religious institution had formally consented, in England and Wales.David Cameron

It would also allow couples who had previously entered into civil partnerships to convert their relationship into a marriage.

“Same-sex marriage is an important step forward and will make our society stronger” Prime Minister David Cameron has said. “Today is an important day. I am a strong believer in marriage. It helps people commit to each other and I think it is right that gay people should be able to get married too,” he said.

The fact that the Prime Minister himself is so strongly behind this bill (which I believe he initially introduced.. correct me if I’m wrong), says a lot for the progress being made in this county when to comes to equal rights.

I personally would just call them ‘rights’ since we all pay the same taxes, so should have all the same ‘rights’ regardless of whom we love.

As always, there’s always the arguments surrounding the church and being forced to perform same-sex marriages.  According to the BBC FE_DA_120730SameSexMarriage425x283website:

The government believes that the wording of the bill will ensure that the Church of England and the Church in Wales will not face any legal challenges to their strong stated opposition to holding same-sex marriages.

All religious organisations will be able to opt in to holding ceremonies – but the Church of England and the Church in Wales would first need to agree to change canon law.

I personally think it’s interesting that these religious organisations think that gay people are going to somehow ‘force’ a church to perform their marriage.  In fact, I personally find it somewhat delusional that the government had to put those exclusions in the bill in order to satisfy the religious-right that this change to marriage won’t intrude on their religious rights.

That’s right.. it’s been worded to ensure the church doesn’t feel encroached upon or forced into accepting same-sex marriage.gay marriage dot

But regardless of how it is happening, or even if I kinda think the wording of the bill is slightly pandering to religious groups, it is still a momentous step towards everyone having the same rights, and every citizen being treated the same.  Period.

Will this be the end of the fight for gay rights (if it is passed, which the political pundits seem to predict it will.. fingers crossed)?  Or is this just another step towards finally allowing the labels a lot of us live under to die out, and allow universal acceptance of all?

What do you guys think?