Digital Dating – Tips for Your Online Profile

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In this day and age, it’s rare to find anyone who’s actively looking for dates, mates or anything in between who doesn’t have an online profile of some sort.  Hell, most partnered or married guys I know have one as well (joys of open relationships..).

No matter what you’re looking for – casual dates, random hook-ups, something more long term – there’s something to be said about how you present yourself online.  Your online profile is like your calling card, and if you leave it blank or too vague, then you may not get the results you’re looking for.

I don’t think there’s an exhaustive list of ‘Do’s and Don’ts’ when it comes to all this, but it doesn’t hurt to bear a few things in mind when creating your online presence.  It’s all about giving a brief, general snapshot of yourself to get someone interested.

Put a clear profile photo

The whole point of a profile picture is to determine compatibility and whether you’re attracted to the other person.  If you’re not willing to show who you are, then why the hell are you even online to begin with?

awkwardAdmittedly, it could be the situation where the person isn’t out for whatever reason and is afraid if they’re found online they could lose their job, family, or any other things.  Or perhaps they’re married/partnered and only online looking for a bit of fun on the side, and they’re afraid their ‘honey’ will catch them (run away.. run far far away..).

But then there are those who’ll refuse to put up a pic or even sent one once you’re chatting, but insist that you should meet.  At your place because they can’t host (or be seen with a man in public..).  All without you know what they look like.

Sounds like a recipe for trouble.

Know and disclose your status

It’s astounding how, in this day and age of awareness, that there are still guys out there who don’t know their HIV status and don’t do anything to find out.  It may not be ‘fun’ getting yourself tested, but isn’t that better than suddenly finding out you’ve been infected and have no clue when or how?

Not only that, but there seems to be this ignorant stigmatism that anyone who’s HIV+ is somehow ‘unclean’.  It’s not like it’s something you can wash away with a  vigorous shower.  And let’s be honest, you’re more likely to get infected by someone who doesn’t even know their status than someone who’s aware, on meds, and probably has a low/non-existent viral load because of it.

And if you don’t want to date someone who’s positive?  Well, then don’t.  Just don’t be an uneducated idiot by using the word ‘clean’.

Preferences don’t allow racial profiling

grindrEvery guy out there has an idea or fantasy of what their perfect guy looks like, and for many that can include their potential partner’s race or ethnicity.  Who hasn’t seen profiles with ‘No Blacks/Asians/Arabs/etc’ on them.  And all that’s doing is limiting yourself to your own prejudices.

Types can change over time.  And just because you hadn’t previously had experiences with someone from a certain ethnicity, it doesn’t mean that you won’t in the future.  And to specifically put that on your profile, then you’re just showing how closed minded you can be.

And on that note….

‘Masc4Masc Only’ or ‘No fats, no femmes’

Once again, regardless how much you may say this is your preference, but to someone reading you profile it could be a blow to their self-esteem.

images11One of the great things about life these days is there are no set rules for what is masculine or how a man should act.  Life is quite gender fluid, even if it’s within your own gender.  It’s buying into and reinforcing those gender stereotypes we’ve all fought so hard to get past.

And though you might say it’s not your problem, by being dismissive and bitchy towards someone you may not be physically attracted to just reinforces the body-shaming issues they may already be dealing with.

If someone you’re not attracted to gives you a compliment, then just politely accept it and move on.  Simple.

Don’t massage the figures

We’ve seen it.. guys who lie on their profiles about their age, weight, height, or even their cock size all in fear of being rejected.  However, what’s the point?  All that’ll happen is you’ll end you being rejected for lying about any of those things, and not the item you had issue with itself.

If there’s something you’re afraid guys will judge you on, then why not just omit it to begin with?  If it’s something that comes up in conversation down the line, then you can choose whether you want to reveal the information.

And along the same lines, what’s the point of using a photo taken several years ago that no longer looks anything like you?  All you’re doing is setting yourself up for awkwardness later on and possible rejection.

In the end the best thing to do is just be honest, project a positive outlook on life, and ultimately just be yourself.  Because after all, it’s the real you want them to fall for.

This post has been influenced by — Five things no gay man should put on their dating app profile

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Digital Dating – The Profile Pic

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For anyone who’s ever tried to find dates online, one of the things you need to have is a decent profile picture.  This could be some fun candid shot of yourself while out with friends, or could be something more posed.. or could even be the much lauded ‘selfie’ that pretty much everyone is taking these days.

A good profile picture is important because it’s your ‘calling card’ and it’s what is going to get people initially interested in visiting your profile to find out more about you.  Or at least that’s the hope.

Of course it all depends on what you’re looking for.. some guys out there are only looking for a bit of fun so they’ll put a shirtless pic of themselves, or try to push the boundaries of the nudity rules and post something a bit racier.

Unfortunately for some people they just don’t seem to get the idea behind a good profile pic…

25 Unexplainable Profile Pictures

Here are a few thoughts on picking out a good profile pic.. now if only I could find the right pic for my own profile. 😉

Post more than 1 pic of yourself

How does posting just one pic of yourself, or several similar pics in the same pose/look, help you garner interest of the guys looking through the profiles?  Let’s be honest – it doesn’t really.  The whole point is to give your prospective date (or whatever) more of an idea of what you look like, and perhaps give them more of an insight into your personality (depending on what you’re doing in the pictures, of course).

Obviously put your best face forward for your main profile pic, and then select a couple others that help show who you are as a person, be them just facial pics or full (clothed) body pics.

And smile, damn it!  LOL  You’re not going to get guys messaging you to find out more if you’re looking grumpy or sad in all your pictures.

Selfie or no Selfie?

selfieLet’s be honest, everyone these days has at least one picture of themselves taken while standing in front of a mirror.  It’s become the standard thing when taking pics of yourself.  But is this what you should use for your main dating site profile pic?

It’s never an easy thing to take a decent picture of yourself, be it in the mirror or holding your mobile/camera towards you and hoping you get a good shot.  What you could do is use pictures taken of you by others while out and about, or if you’re willing to shell out the cash, use a professional photographer.. But be careful of that – you don’t want guys to think you’re vain or  self-centered.

No group pics

Let’s be honest – your profile is about you, not about your group of friends.  And the last thing you want to do is to explain which one is you in the picture.  Sure, a group shot can tell a perspective suitor a bit about you and how you interact with your mates, but the guy should ultimately want to date you, not your friends.

Of course this is different if you’re a couple doing a profile together.. but that’s a whole different type of profile.  😉

Use a current picture

Come on guys.. How hard is it to have something that is a bit up to date?  Sure, you may like that picture of you from 10 years ago, but is that what you actually look like now?  Unless you’re somehow been able to freeze time for when you looked your hottest at 25, it really is better to show how you look now.

There’s nothing worse than chatting to some amazing, sexy guy online, and when you meet in person they look nothing like the pic anymore.  That may seem shallow, but if what initially interested him in you was your beautiful smile and you show up with some disfiguring scar that makes you look like Quasimoto, that prospective date is going to end pretty quickly.

Have a proper face pic

There’s nothing worse than clicking on a profile to see what a guy looks like, and only being able to barely make out their face.  How hard is it these days with smart phones and webcams to get a decent pic of yourself that isn’t fuzzy, blurry, or so far away you can barely tell what colour your hair is or if you have any hair at all.

Naughty or nice?

sexy hairy chestWhether you want your profile pic to be naughty or not is dependent on what you’re really online looking for.  But should a full body nudie shot be what the guys looking at your profile be the first thing you see?  Most websites or dating apps won’t allow you to post anything naughty in your profile pic, so anything more adult in nature would need to be put into a private pics section, and you’d have to unlock them for whomever you’re talking to.

Best rule of thumb could be to have your main pics fun and sexy without them being full-on porn shots.. and save those more salacious pictures for once you’ve gotten to know them a bit more than just ‘Hi’.

Show your face

We’ve all encountered numerous online profiles where there’s either no pic at all, there’s a pic of some beautiful meadow, or some headless torso.  It’s 2014.. are there really still that many people out there who are more interested in guarding their privacy or hiding inside the closet?

And let’s be honest, if you’re looking to find someone to date (as compared to finding a shag), shouldn’t a face pic be the first thing they see of you?

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