This Is Why You Are Attractive

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Too often we let perceptions of who we are, be them our own or from others, cloud our view of ourselves.  Who hasn’t looked at themselves in the mirror and been overly critical of their body, or lament that they wish they could look like someone else?

We are all guilty of a bit of self-hate, myself included, but what we need to do is focus on the positive aspects of ourselves that make us truly attractive to ourselves and others around us.

And let’s be clear – being considered attractive is a completely different than how one perceives beauty, as it isn’t necessarily about physical beauty.  It’s more about you as a person and how you treat those around you.

Let your heart shine through

These days it’s almost social suicide to show any sort of emotions, let alone that you actually care about another person.  Genuine care and concern for another’s well-being can make all the difference for someone who’s going through a bad patch or is feeling alone in the world.  Compassion is key.

Build strength from your past

Life generally isn’t easy so you have to be able to stand tall and show the world that you can take on anything it throws at you.  All of us have difficult situations and struggles we have to get past, and the more capable you are at doing so, the stronger you’ll be as you continue to move through life.

You’ve got to move forward, dust yourself off, and use these difficult situations to build yourself up to better handle anything else that may be tossed your way in the future.

Smiling is infectious

There is nothing more attractive than someone sporting a genuine smile.  Show off your pearly whites. Grin from ear to ear. Let your smile take over your whole face. It’s what will attract people to you, as it shows your happiness and love of life.

And sometimes when a complete stranger gives you a quick cheeky smile, you just can’t help but return it.

You have a brain and you use it

sapiosexual (n.): a personal sexually attracted to intelligence or the human mind

There is nothing more attractive than someone who uses their wit and intelligence in everyday interactions.  And those that continue to search to improve their knowledge bump things up even more.

sexy_einstein_xlargeAs well, use that intellect and thirst for knowledge to feed your curiosity about the world around you.  Never be afraid to ask ‘why’ about things you see, hear or read about.  You just never know what you may learn.

But be careful not to come across as a smarty-pants or know-it-all, as that’s a huge turn off.  Instead use your intellect to engage others in meaningful and interesting conversations. Conversations can be fun as well as informative, so don’t just restrict yourself to solely cerebral topics.

Laughter is the best medicine

Whether you giggle like a school-girl, enjoy a good belly laugh, or even let loose the occasion snort, life is worth laughing at. There’s more than enough darkness in the world, so why not laugh at the silliness around you.  Share the giggles, tickle someone else’s funny-bone, and spread the joy to those around you.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, even if it’s not something you agree with or think is right.  But that’s ok, because your ability to be open-minded to another’s perspective and see where the other person is coming from is a truly attractive quality and will show a mutual respect between you.

And that’s ultimately more important and attractive than being ‘right’.

Be thankful

Being grateful for your life and appreciative of those who help you in life is incredibly attractive. That thankfulness will fill you more emotionally and spiritually than anything else you may be able to obtain to fill whatever void you may have.

And let’s be honest – if you’re not appreciative of those around you, how can you expect them to continue to be there for you in the future.

You are you

self-confidence-is-the-most-attractive-quality-a-person-can-haveJust be yourself.  Only you can be you, so why not be the best ‘you’ you can possibly be? Love yourself. Be comfortable in your body. Be confident through your actions and your smile. Remind yourself you are beautiful just the way you are, and don’t let anyone else tell you differently.

You are wonderful just the way you are, so why change that?  Embrace yourself, perceived warts and all, and let the world see you who you truly are. Life your life for you and don’t let anyone else’s misconceptions of how you should life it sway you.

This post was inspired by the post – 10 Reasons Why You Are Attractive | Life Hack.

Things to do While Waiting for ‘Mr Right’

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It’s not easy being single these days.

It’s lonely, can lead to feelings of jealousy for those who’ve found someone, and in extreme circumstances, can lead to depression for some.

Most of this is due to the negative thoughts and ideas running around our heads as to why we’re still single, while it seems like everyone else around us are happily paired up.

Instead of sitting around waiting for that elusive ‘Mr Right’ (or ‘Ms Right’, depending on what you’re looking for lol), get out there and enjoy your life.  Cut the negative thoughts, get happy and start loving yourself and your single freedom.

Here’s a few things to do while you’re still single..

Start living in the now

Instead of daydreaming about your perfect partner and wasting your time wondering when they’ll show up, why not think about yourself?  Take stock of where you are in your life and where you want to go in the future.

man on beachWhat goals do you want to achieve over the next year or so?  Have you planned your next holiday?  Are there any old or distant friends you’d like to visit? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance or the nerve to do so?

Being single means you can plan and do anything you want.  The world is out there waiting for you.  Why not get out there and enjoy it.

Love yourself

You are the one and only version of you that there will ever be in the world.  Your uniqueness and originality are part of who you are and everything you’ve achieved in your life.  Nobody else can make you feel as whole of a person as you already are, so why don’t you go ahead and love yourself?

There is nobody else out there in the world who can make you feel whole, or give you anything that you don’t already have in your life to lead a full, happy and fulfilling life.  Love who you are as a person, and what you contribute to the world around you.  Nobody else can give you that validation any better than you can yourself.

Love your freedom

They say that the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you’ll have with yourself.  When you’re single, you have the opportunity to do things for yourself that sometimes a partner wouldn’t be able to.  Be a bit selfish and treat yourself to something special. Enjoy this time to take care of yourself and do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

Stop the negative reinforcements

Self attackWhen we’re feeling down or lonely, it’s all to easy to start criticising ourselves in a negative fashion.  It could be calling ourselves names because we didn’t react well to something, or telling ourselves that there must be something wrong with us because we’re single or alone.

If you continue to do that, then you’re increasing the chances of making those negative thoughts become a reality as we attract what we put out in the world.  Change the tone and feeling, and you’ll improve your chances.

Don’t neglect your friends and family

Never forget how precious your friends and family are, because once you do find someone amazing to date, you may not have as much time to spend with them.  Instead take this time to plan things or organise a trip together.  Those closest to you are the foundation of your social life, so never take them for granted or let them fall by the wayside.

Try something new

We all say we need to get out of our ruts and try something different.  So, what are you waiting for?  This is the perfect opportunity to get out there and do those things you’ve always wanted to do but never could.  Life is all about building memories from the experiences in our lives, so go make some good ones.

Work towards some big goal

We all have goals in life, or at least dreams of goals we’d like to achieve.  So what’s holding you back from achieving them?  Maybe you’ve always wanted to publish a novel, or learn new language, or try your hand at the guitar, or take an interesting course to change careers, or anything else you can imagine yourself doing.

Write out the goal and set yourself a plan of action.. and then do a little bit of it every day.  Six months to a year from now, you never know where that little bit of extra will take you.

Be patient

Pretty much everyone out there (including you) has a story or two of the losers they’ve dated before they met someone special.  That’s because this whole dating game is a process, and there’s no way to bypass it.

single statusWe have to go through it to learn more about ourselves and possibly go through some heartaches or date a few weirdos in order to get to where we need to be to meet that special someone.

Be patient and allow yourself to go through the process.  It’ll be worth it in the end.

This post has been inspired by the article – The Number One Reason You’re Still Single on LifeHack.org.

New Year, New Mentality

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Just like most people, I look forward to New Years as a way to put the previous twelve months behind me and hopefully move forward with my life.

Or at least that’s what I try to tell myself.

This year, more than any other, I find that I need to revitalise myself and my attitude towards life.  That I really need to put the past to bed, and try to move ahead with where I want my life to go.

Easier said (or written) than done to be honest.

The past week between Christmas and New Years has been quite rough for me, and not just because of the sadness or loneliness I felt over the holidays.  Though it does play a big part in things.

don't chase peopleI’m not going to go into intricate details, but while feeling down last Saturday I had a blow-up with one of my mates.  Due to my own feelings of abandonment, I ended up lashing out about how I was feeling causing him to storm out of the coffee shop.  He then messaged that he no longer wanted to be my friend, and then blocked me from being able to contact him.

That really hurt.

But the more I thought about it, the more it was inevitable due to my pushing him with my anger and resentment towards my life and the world around me.  I let my emotions and insecurities get the better of me, and there was no way to change what happened (I tried to apologise obviously..).

All I really needed in that moment was someone to listen to how I was feeling, help me talk through the thoughts in my head.  And maybe a cuddle or two.

However, after it happened and I got over the initial shock of his response, I surprisingly felt quite calm.  As if that was exactly what I needed to vent the emotions I’d been bottling up over the holidays, and for the remainder of the weekend heading into New Year’s Eve, I didn’t feel as upset or angry as I was.

Ok, so the feelings didn’t completely go away overnight.  Was more that it was a wake up call about how I was reacting to things as they happened.  That I was kind of looking at the world as if it owed me something, like I had a sense of entitlement about how people should act towards me.

LifeIsPainful2And what this did was help me realise that it was all bullshit.  That the feelings themselves, although valid and real from my point of view, were stupid and only in my own head.  That I can’t expect people to be there for me when I’m feeling down if all I’m going to do is be angry about life.

And that the only person I can truly rely on to be there for me is ME, so I need to ensure I can approach my issues with a calm and level head.

Now do I still think I need to talk to a professional about everything I’ve been thinking and feeling over the past while?  Of course I do, but at least now it doesn’t feel like a life or death situation.

Don’t worry.  I haven’t necessarily been feeling suicidal, but I could easily see where certain thoughts could have lead down that path.  And that scared the shit out of me.

So now it’s a new year, and hopefully this means some new beginnings while putting the past behind me.  It’s not going to be an easy thing, but fingers crossed I can get where I need to be for me.

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10 Habits You Must Quit to Be Happy

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We all want to be happy.  We want a good job, great friends, an amazing partner, a place to call home, and a life worth enjoying.

TRA297_BLOG_Article_Img_HabitB_v11-2I know I do.

Sounds simple, but why don’t more of us have that happiness we all seemingly desperately crave?

It’s because we’re doing the wrong things.. According to an article over on Mark & Angel Hack Life (click the link at the bottom for the original article).  They say that ‘When you quit doing the wrong things, you make more room for the things that make you happy.’

So….

1.  Quit procrastinating on your goals.

do something todayWe all do it, even when we’re telling ourselves we’re not.  We all put off the things we know we should be doing – looking for a new job, working on that novel, doing the laundry, going to the gym – and instead focus on other things that are less important or likely to have less of an impact on our lives.

The thing is by putting things off for tomorrow what we should be doing today it makes it harder and more daunting to tackle, and could end up stressing ourselves out over it all.  Instead take the first step to getting started, build up momentum, forget about the finish line, and before you know it you’ll be surprised where you end up.

2.  Quit blaming others and making excuses.

Sometimes it’s so much easier to just blame someone else for the stuff that isn’t going well in our lives.  We look for a scapegoat for what we’re going through instead of being honest with ourselves for where our lives are.  Placing the blame on others or making excuses gives away the power to affect our own lives, and in the end just perpetuates the problems.  Own up to it all and remember we are all responsible for our own lives, not someone else.

3.  Quit trying to avoid change.

Change can suck sometimes, especially when our lives suddenly drop out from under us.  We need to stop being so complacent and comfortable while the world continues to change around us.  By accepting change, it allows us to grow as people and see life in a way we never thought was possible.

Learning to accept change is vital to our own happiness and success in life, regardless if it’s a good or bad change.  We need to roll with the punches and remember that things do improve, and that things do happen for a reason.  When we battle through the tough times, we come out the other side stronger and more determined.

4.  Quit trying to control the uncontrollable.

Too often, we try to control every aspect of our lives instead of letting parts of it happen organically.  When you’re trying to control everything around you, you’re just setting yourself up for failure, frustration and ultimately unhappiness.

We can only control so much in our lives, and we should focus on those things we can influence that would improve our happiness.  If you approach life with a positive attitude, then you’re more likely to get positive results.  Just best to let go what you can’t control.

5.  Quit talking down to yourself.

Who hasn’t stared at themselves in the mirror and criticised themselves for the choices or actions they’ve taken?  It’s probably the most destructive thing you can do to yourself, as it will help fester the negative feelings you have towards yourself.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

Sometimes you’re not even conscious how this self doubt and negative talk is affecting your approach to life, as well as the decisions you’re making.  It make sound easier to say then do, but when you replace the negativity with positive thoughts, your life will careen into a different and better trajectory.

6.  Quit criticizing others.

Let’s be honest – when you are regularly putting others down for whatever perceived flaws you see in them, that negativity will gradually creep back into your own life and cripple you.  You need to focus on your own life and work on your own imperfections, not the ones you see in everyone else.

By focusing on your own growth and improvement, you’ll stop feeling threatened by others, and you’ll start to be more comfortable with your own imperfections and will feel less threatened by others.

7.  Quit running from your problems and fears.

Everyone has problems in their lives or fears of failure.  When you compare your issues to those around you, you’ll eventually realise that maybe your issues aren’t so dire or urgent.  And hopefully you’ll realise it’s better to tackle them head on instead of trying to run away from them, regardless of how dire you may make them seem.

anyone can run awayBy giving into your fears you’re setting yourself up for failure, as you’ll never take the chance or make the decision that could possibly change your life for the better.  Stop being complicit in your life or your decisions, because life is full of small, unique experiences that build up who you are, and you may miss out on becoming the best you you can be.

Letting your fears and worries control you is not ‘living,’ it’s merely existing.  Own your fears before the own you.

8.  Quit living in another time and place.

Sometimes it’s too easy to think of how things used to be, how you could have acted differently in certain situations, or even daydream about the future.  This is counterproductive to your day to day life, as lamenting about the past and speculating on the future doesn’t change anything about your present.

It’s all about living in the moment, meaning you need to actively, openly and consciously be aware of the present.  Pay attention to what’s going on around you right this moment, not what may or may not happen, or what has already happened.

9.  Quit trying to be someone you’re not.

Just be yourself, not who the world around you is trying make you become.  It’s not always easy, as life can challenge you while society around you applies pressures to make you into someone you’re not.  There will always be someone prettier, smarter, and younger coming along behind you, but you can’t stop being yourself.

10.  Quit being ungrateful.

Be thankful for how your life is right now.  Not everything you do will work out for the best, but that’s ok.  That just means it wasn’t meant to be, and it allows you to make room for the stuff that will.

happinessToo often we all think about what we’re missing out on instead of what you do have.  You never know, there could be someone there that is desperately thinking that something you have is what they’re missing.  Focus on yourself and how your life is going, not how it compares to those around you.

Click for the original article – 10 Habits You Must Quit to Be Happy.