What’s in a Number?


One of the things I love is to float around the web and read other blogs similar to my own, or those that touch upon topics I’m interested in or sometimes write about.numbers_xlarge  And how reading that other blog can get me thinking on a topic you hadn’t considered before and get you thinking about it a different way.

Well the other day I was reading a blog from a UK-based gay man (sorry, I didn’t think to note down their web address to link back) and one of their posts was about playing the numbers game when it comes to dating or hooking up with other gay men.

When I say the ‘numbers’ game, it’s about how you would rate yourself out of 10 and the limitations of who you could potentially go out.  For instance, if you’re a 7 then you should be dating someone between a 6 and a 8, with another 7 being a perfect match.  Certain things, like if you’re having a bad hair day or feeling especially confident, could potentially fluctuate your ‘number’ to a certain extent.

Hdont-label-me-orphan-widow-widowermmm.. although this is kind of true in the gay world, I have to say this is absolutely ridiculous how as gay men we can find yet another way to judge and label ourselves even further.

We already have labeled ourselves into further smaller sub-sects within our own community, so why should we go even further by defining who a person could go out with based solely on their looks (I’ve assumed that blogger was only talking about physical appearance, as no other criteria were mentioned..).

Now let me be frank here – at no point am I judging what that other blogger has written (if you’re reading this, please know your post inspired this one) or anyone who buys into this type of thing.  I just personally think by doing this we are being completely unfair to ourselves as a community by limiting who we can date (and presumably be friends with) based solely on looks and how others would ‘rate’ us.

And to quote an oft used cliche – ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’.  What I find attractive in a man could make him seem like a 6 in your eyes, but to me he might be a 8 or 9.. or even a 10.

Attractiveness and beauty is entirely subjective, and we’ve all heard the jokes made about ‘being blind’ or having ‘beer goggles’ when you find someone attractive that your mates don’t.fuckable bear

For me there has to be more to life and dating than just how someone looks.  Sure, it definitely helps, but when it comes to finding a potential boyfriend there has to be other factors involved, specifically how the two of you click personality-wise.  Physical attraction does come into play here at some point, but it’s not the sole factor.

At least not to me.

Of course it’s all different when looking at someone for just a shag.. then it’s definitely all about the physical attraction.  Who doesn’t like to spend some quality time between the sheets with some hot guy with a chiseled six-pack.  😉