Friendships are Weird

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I’ve always had trouble making friends, and sometimes I think it’s because some people are just weird.  Or at least how they treat their friendships can be.

We all have those friend where it’s hard to recall how the friendship started in the first place… or why it’s even continued to this day.

Or we’ve looked at a friend and wondered why the hell we’re even friends.  There isn’t much in common between us or many mutual friends, and sometimes there are things they do that just make them beyond annoying.

But I think that’s normal.  Or at least I hope it is, because I’m positive there must be some people out there that look at me the same way.  LOL

Now I know I can sometimes have a slightly skewed view on things, and friendships aren’t any different.  And any perceived weirdness may just be in my own head…

I sometimes feel like certain friendships aren’t equally balanced, where the one person’s needs are being met more than the other’s.  Examples of this could be where everyone always ends up doing what the more extroverted person wants, or they tend to steer most conversations towards what they want to talk about.

In fact, when they do monopolise the conversation with a more introverted person, it can become quite difficult for that shyer person to get their point or needs across, let alone met.  Which can become quite frustrating.

And sometimes these overly social people can easily miss the signs that their less-outgoing friends aren’t on the same page as them (or even in the same book).  They can get so focused on their own enjoyment of life that they might not notice that those around them may feel left out or left behind.

Or they’re so busy with their own lives that there’s no time or recognition that perhaps a dear friend may need someone to talk through some things or a shoulder to cry on.  Or even just hang out with without it being a party night or loads of people around.

Or perhaps they do realise the other person needs to talk through things but purposely ignores or pushes it aside so they don’t have to listen to another person’s negativity.

Then there are those in committed relationships who seem to only hang out with other couples, inadvertently excluding their single friends from any plans.  Or even if they do include them, they end up being the only single at the ‘party’.

And of course my biggest pet-peeve is those who’re so wrapped up in their active lives that they don’t realise they’re excluding those who may not be as busy.  I don’t think it’s done with any sort of malice, but there are those out there who’ll make out like they don’t plan anything… but yet they never have any time to hang out.

Or they’ll make you feel bad for feeling left out, making it seem like it’s your own fault because you aren’t making the plans or organising events for people to get together.  That it’s your own fault that people don’t include you.

Obviously every person can manage their lives their own way, and that’s fair enough.  To each their own.  Some just like being busy all the time.

But to me, if you’re so busy that you can’t make time for a supposedly good friend when they need you (and not have to ‘schedule’ it in ahead of time…), then how can you possibly expect them to do the same?

Friendships are weird and wonderful things… but they need to go both ways sometimes.

A Chance to be Social.. For Once

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Lately I’ve been a bit of a shut-in, mostly due to finances. I’ve spent most of the past several weekends at home, watching movies by myself, and ultimately being bored.

It’s never easy to have a social life when you’re on a shoestring budget, and it’s even harder when there doesn’t seem to be many people around to hang out with.

I’ve realised recently that most of the few London friends I hang out with somewhat regularly (as in seeing them more than once every 3 to 6 months lol) are coupled up. And being a single guy hanging out with couples all the time can get quite tiresome.

In other words, it makes me feel like a third wheel, which is never a good feeling.

Despite this, I accepted an invitation from an Italian mate and his partner to go to their place in Coggeshall near Colchester, as they were having a few people over for a Eurovision BBQ. I’ve been to their place several times before, and it’s a lovely quiet little village, and it’s always nice to get away from the city. In fact, it’s where I spent/celebrated my 40th birthday last year.

(For anyone who’s not aware, Eurovision is an annual singing contest where people across Europe get to vote for their favourite, but not for their own country. It’s fun, cheesy and camp as hell, but always entertaining.. Think X-Factor on a much bigger scale, and better lol)

In the end there were about a dozen of us, including their straight lodger and his friend. We had loads of food, plenty of drinks, and lots of laughs as we watched the telecast via BBC iPlayer .. And every time it stopped to buffer, we all had to take a drink. Lol Luckily it didn’t buffer too much.

As a fairly introverted person who’s shy around new people, it took me a bit to relax and open myself to interacting with these strangers (and before you ask, no there wasn’t anyone cute.. dammit lol). Once I did, it was fun and a laugh, and makes me glad I agreed to come for the party.

Of course the one act everyone seemed to be cheering on was Conchita Wurst from Austria, a bearded drag-queen/performer who went on to win the contest itself. It’s an amazing song (check the video below) that could easily be used as a Bond theme song.

And let’s be honest, she gives great face.

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Anyway here’s hoping I can find other fun (and cheap) things to do that’ll get me out of the house and be social.. Cause I definitely don’t want to become a hermit.

Much 😉