Friendships are Weird

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I’ve always had trouble making friends, and sometimes I think it’s because some people are just weird.  Or at least how they treat their friendships can be.

We all have those friend where it’s hard to recall how the friendship started in the first place… or why it’s even continued to this day.

Or we’ve looked at a friend and wondered why the hell we’re even friends.  There isn’t much in common between us or many mutual friends, and sometimes there are things they do that just make them beyond annoying.

But I think that’s normal.  Or at least I hope it is, because I’m positive there must be some people out there that look at me the same way.  LOL

Now I know I can sometimes have a slightly skewed view on things, and friendships aren’t any different.  And any perceived weirdness may just be in my own head…

I sometimes feel like certain friendships aren’t equally balanced, where the one person’s needs are being met more than the other’s.  Examples of this could be where everyone always ends up doing what the more extroverted person wants, or they tend to steer most conversations towards what they want to talk about.

In fact, when they do monopolise the conversation with a more introverted person, it can become quite difficult for that shyer person to get their point or needs across, let alone met.  Which can become quite frustrating.

And sometimes these overly social people can easily miss the signs that their less-outgoing friends aren’t on the same page as them (or even in the same book).  They can get so focused on their own enjoyment of life that they might not notice that those around them may feel left out or left behind.

Or they’re so busy with their own lives that there’s no time or recognition that perhaps a dear friend may need someone to talk through some things or a shoulder to cry on.  Or even just hang out with without it being a party night or loads of people around.

Or perhaps they do realise the other person needs to talk through things but purposely ignores or pushes it aside so they don’t have to listen to another person’s negativity.

Then there are those in committed relationships who seem to only hang out with other couples, inadvertently excluding their single friends from any plans.  Or even if they do include them, they end up being the only single at the ‘party’.

And of course my biggest pet-peeve is those who’re so wrapped up in their active lives that they don’t realise they’re excluding those who may not be as busy.  I don’t think it’s done with any sort of malice, but there are those out there who’ll make out like they don’t plan anything… but yet they never have any time to hang out.

Or they’ll make you feel bad for feeling left out, making it seem like it’s your own fault because you aren’t making the plans or organising events for people to get together.  That it’s your own fault that people don’t include you.

Obviously every person can manage their lives their own way, and that’s fair enough.  To each their own.  Some just like being busy all the time.

But to me, if you’re so busy that you can’t make time for a supposedly good friend when they need you (and not have to ‘schedule’ it in ahead of time…), then how can you possibly expect them to do the same?

Friendships are weird and wonderful things… but they need to go both ways sometimes.

5 thoughts on “Friendships are Weird

  1. I totally agree with your conclusion, Martin, that friendships need “to go both ways.” But let’s face it: most of us have friends that we can just as easily be happy without. We just seem to lack the courage to casually and unobtrusively remove ourselves from their lives. Great post, buddy! Naked hugs!

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