Striping Away the Insecurities

Standard

Like many people, I tend to be quite self-conscious when it comes to my body.  I was always the chubby or fat kid in school, and have continued to be of a larger size well into my adult years.

I’ve spent many years feeling bad about myself, putting myself down and generally beating myself up emotionally or psychologically whenever I felt I had let myself down regarding my weight.  I’ve repeatedly tried to restrict my diet, deny myself the food I’ve always enjoyed eating, and to get more active.

But of course, despite brief periods of weight loss here and there, I’ve continued to watch my weight rise year on year.  And my own feelings of self-worth fluctuated about as much as my weight did.

Now don’t get me wrong.. I don’t necessarily eat as if I’m running out of food, or am so inactive that I’m beyond lazy.  It’s like anything in life – I know what I need to do, but don’t tend to do it.

cute bums on beachOk, maybe that is my laziness talking there. LOL

I’ve tried several things over the years to help myself to accept my own body image issues, but it’s only been recently that I’ve become more comfortable in my own skin.  And just my own skin.

Over the past couple years, I’ve discovered a love of naturalist beaches, especially after my recent trips to Gran Canaria.  I found on the beaches there that nobody cared what you looked like, and all shapes and sizes were welcome.

On top of this, a close friend of mine convinced me to join a naturalist social website well over a year ago (Nakedmates.co.uk for those who’re interested lol), but I hadn’t done much with it other than poke around, looking at the guy’s profiles and pictures.  And reading about the events some put on, wondering what it would be like to go to one.

Well… all that changed back in April, just before my most recent trip to Gran Canaria.  My mate was hosting a small gathering at his flat in town, and I decided to finally take the plunge and attend.

That’s right.. I went to a naked house party.  And despite my initial nervousness, I absolutely loved it.  It literally was just like any other house party – some laughs, lots of chatting, a bit of flirting, and maybe a bit too much wine haha.

Only difference was that everyone was naked.

The whole ethos of the website is ‘No Clothes. No Attitude’, where members organise parties at their homes, in bars, saunas, and such.

beardy threesomeOne reason I’d been so so hesitant about these parties was it felt like it was so sexualised.  My mate had told me plenty of naughty stories of things that had gone on at these events, and that really isn’t my thing.

But what I found after attending that first party was that it isn’t really like that at all for most of the guys.  It’s just a different outlet to meet like-minded guys in a comfortable and non-judgemental clothing-free environment.

Now don’t get me wrong.. there is a sexual aspect to the parties, but only if you choose to engage in it.  Most hosts when having parties in their homes will set aside a room away from the social areas for those who want to have a bit of fun.  And despite what I might have previously thought, it didn’t turn into full-blown orgies.

At this particular party, I was one of the first to arrive so was already naked when the rest of them arrived.  I think that helped me a bit, where I was only initially stripping off in front of a couple of guys instead of 20 or so. 😉

Of course, the bottle of wine I’d brought helped me relax.  The first half of the bottle went down very quickly. Hahaha

Anyway, the time flew by as I chatted to a gorgeous Danish guy in the kitchen, while some of the other guys drifted in and out of the play room.  Neither of us were interested in joining the frolics, so just enjoyed each other’s company.

Well things have sorted progressed since then, as I’ve been to 2 other parties since.  Including my mate’s naked birthday party last month… where I met a very sexy farmer from Suffolk.

And the parties continue next month.  I’ve agreed to a naked camping weekend up North with over 200 guys from around the country (the sexy farmer promised he’d make it worth my while if I went.. hehe).  And then a couple weeks later it’ll be my mate’s naked wedding!

I admit, it’s not a community I ever considered being a part of, but it’s amazing how friendly and inclusive most of the guys are.  And it’s great to meet guys from so many different walks of life all because of one shared interest.

The upside to all this is how much more comfortable I’ve been feeling in my own skin, and how I keep looking for new opportunities to spent as much time naked at home as I can.. though usually just in my bedroom or when nobody is home.

What I do know is this is a new adventure for me, and it’s one I’m quite enjoying.

Now to see what happens next.. and whether that sexy farmer will keep his promise when we go camping next month.  😉

naked camping

 

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “Striping Away the Insecurities

  1. I’m glad you found something you enjoy – I love being naked and have been attending clothing optional resorts since the mid 90s. It isn’t all about sex, you’re right – most of my time is just spent relaxing and enjoying the scenery 😉

    have fun with your sexy farmer

    • Thanks Jamez! Yeah it’s definitely becoming much more relaxing than I thought it could. I’d always enjoyed being naked at home alone, or sleeping naked, but this is more than that. I think the plan is next year I may join my mate at a clothing optional resort (he goes every year) for something new.

      And yeah.. I’m looking forward to spending time with the sexy farmer hehe

  2. AndyLancs

    I think you look great!… on naked mates myself and have been to lots of parties only about half of them where I have had fun but have enjoyed the others as much!

  3. Rob R

    I think that’s great Marty ! I had the same issues when I was younger (as you know) and I did whatever I had to (short of an eating disorder) to be thin. When I reached my goal, I soon realized that it didn’t matter two hoots what you look like, if you’re not comfortable with yourself. I think it’s great that you’re embracing, and exploring this side of yourself. You only go around once so you may as well enjoy it 😊

    • Thanks Rob! It’s been a long time coming and the insecurity thing has come and gone over the years. But the best part is just enjoying things as they happen

  4. Brilliant. Brilliant on all levels. Doing something radically different and meeting new people. The way I see it, the gay community or part of the community, is a bit obsessed with body image. Don’t get me wrong I like eye candy but I also like a natural man. In the reality of my relationship with William or myslef were gym bunnies all the time, we would never spend time together like we do. And to be honest I like a man with natural flaws. Weight may come and go for us all, but the essence of the person remains. Good luck with the farmer. Ivan

    • Thanks Ivan. I think it’s a step in the right direction, body-consciousness wise.. Though am nowhere near over those issues, but at least it’s a welcoming environment and I haven’t felt judged for how I look naked, which is a relief.

      And you’re right – the gays are generally obsessed with body image… be it the gym bunnies who’re trying to get even more ripped despite looking like they have an 8-pack; the skinny twinks who feel ‘fat’ if the eat a burger; or even the Bears who cold shoulder someone who looses the excessive weight. It’s strange how such an ‘inclusive’ community can be so exclusive or judgemental of those different from them or their preferred body type.

  5. lickitrightnow

    That sounds fantastic! It’s so exciting to find a new way to meet people alongside being comfortable and liberated.

    • Yeah it’s been pretty great so far.. Not saying my insecurities have disappeared over night, but at least in that environment I know it doesn’t matter my shape.

      Thanks for taking the time to comment and visit x

      • lickitrightnow

        Thank you and you are right. I am much the same, the insecurities don’t seem to go but ones own attitude to them can change and how you deal with it. Feel the fear and all that!

    • Agreed. Variety o’s the spice of life after all lol And as confident as the post makes me sound, the insecurities haven’t magically disappeared. . Just trying to work past them and be happy within myself. 😊

Tell me what you think:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s