I’m not sure what’s changed, but I’ve found my dating life going through yet another dry spell these days. I’m sure this is normal for most people, and it sure as hell isn’t the first time it’s happened to me, but I can’t help but wonder if sometimes there’s something I’m doing that causes these recurrent episodes.
Now I’ll be honest – sometimes it’s hard to separate my dating life with my sex life, because occasionally they’re not mutually exclusive. I admit that a shag doesn’t necessarily constitute a date, and a date doesn’t always end in a shag.
But of course there are always exceptions to this. 😉
For me, things seemed to be going fairly well after I moved to my current flat, and they definitely picked up (sexually) once I returned from Gran Canaria back in November. After spending most of a year of feeling sexually frustrated, it was a nice change.
The best part was that I was going out more often. I was usually out on a Friday night (and some Saturday nights too), which is a huge help when trying to meet new guys. Not that there were many of them, but at least I was meeting a few new guys here and there.
I only had a small handful of dates during that time, none of which lead anywhere other than sometimes the bedroom for a one-off romp, but at least it was something.
But something changed after the New Year. Suddenly, I was spending most weekends at home alone. The invitations to socialise died out, and any attempts on my part to drum up interest to do something were met with either disinterest (or so it seemed) or the classic ‘I’m busy’ and ‘I’ve already got plans’ responses.
And both my sex and dating lives ground to a complete halt.
I’m sure there’s all sorts of things that could contribute to this current dry spell, some of them my own doing and some from others. Or perhaps there’s something I’ve been unknowingly putting out there that’s putting guys off.
I’m not saying that the past couple of months have been complete no-sex zones, but it’s been so far and few in between that it might as well have been. There’s been many times where I’ve been chatting to a guy about meeting up, and just as it seems it’s going to happen they end up pulling out (no pun intended) at the last minute.
Annoying, for sure.
I have had a couple dates with one guy who lives locally to me.. and by dates I mean actual dates, where we met up for drinks or dinner and talked to each other. And didn’t have sex (though there was a bunch of kissing and cuddles on the second date…).
But unfortunately that’s as far as it’s gone, and that was probably about a month ago. There’s been no third date as of yet, despite us regularly chatting online. I’ve tried suggesting things here and there, but he’s out of town a lot on the weekends and works long hours during the week.. meaning it doesn’t leave much time to meet up.
He’s a lovely man and I do want to see him again, but I’m unsure if it’ll actually go anywhere. There didn’t seem to much of a mad, crazy, sexy, tear-off-your-clothes passion between us, but perhaps that was because I was purposely trying to take things a bit slower that I normally do and not jump right into bed with him. For once.
You know, actually get to know the man before I got to ‘know’ the man. LOL
I don’t know… Sometimes I wish I could just maintain that care-free attitude I had after my holidays and see what fun I could get up to.. even if it’s not ‘fun’ that I’m wanting in my life.
Or perhaps I need to stop hoping for more than what’s on offer at the moment.
Time will tell I suppose.