A Dating Dry Spell

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I’m not sure what’s changed, but I’ve found my dating life going through yet another dry spell these days.  I’m sure this is normal for most people, and it sure as hell isn’t the first time it’s happened to me, but I can’t help but wonder if sometimes there’s something I’m doing that causes these recurrent episodes.

Now I’ll be honest – sometimes it’s hard to separate my dating life with my sex life, because occasionally they’re not mutually exclusive.  I admit that a shag doesn’t necessarily constitute a date, and a date doesn’t always end in a shag.

But of course there are always exceptions to this.  😉

turkish kissFor me, things seemed to be going fairly well after I moved to my current flat, and they definitely picked up (sexually) once I returned from Gran Canaria back in November.  After spending most of a year of feeling sexually frustrated, it was a nice change.

The best part was that I was going out more often.  I was usually out on a Friday night (and some Saturday nights too), which is a huge help when trying to meet new guys.  Not that there were many of them, but at least I was meeting a few new guys here and there.

I only had a small handful of dates during that time, none of which lead anywhere other than sometimes the bedroom for a one-off romp, but at least it was something.

But something changed after the New Year.  Suddenly, I was spending most weekends at home alone.  The invitations to socialise died out, and any attempts on my part to drum up interest to do something were met with either disinterest (or so it seemed) or the classic ‘I’m busy’ and ‘I’ve already got plans’ responses.

And both my sex and dating lives ground to a complete halt.

I’m sure there’s all sorts of things that could contribute to this current dry spell, some of them my own doing and some from others.  Or perhaps there’s something I’ve been unknowingly putting out there that’s putting guys off.

I’m not saying that the past couple of months have been complete no-sex zones, but it’s been so far and few in between that it might as well have been.  There’s been many times where I’ve been chatting to a guy about meeting up, and just as it seems it’s going to happen they end up pulling out (no pun intended) at the last minute.

Annoying, for sure.

I have had a couple dates with one guy who lives locally to me.. and by dates I mean actual dates, where we met up for drinks or dinner and talked to each other.  And didn’t have sex (though there was a bunch of kissing and cuddles on the second date…).

IMG_0302But unfortunately that’s as far as it’s gone, and that was probably about a month ago.  There’s been no third date as of yet, despite us regularly chatting online.  I’ve tried suggesting things here and there, but he’s out of town a lot on the weekends and works long hours during the week.. meaning it doesn’t leave much time to meet up.

He’s a lovely man and I do want to see him again, but I’m unsure if it’ll actually go anywhere.  There didn’t seem to much of a mad, crazy, sexy, tear-off-your-clothes passion between us, but perhaps that was because I was purposely trying to take things a bit slower that I normally do and not jump right into bed with him.  For once.

You know, actually get to know the man before I got to ‘know’ the man.  LOL

I don’t know… Sometimes I wish I could just maintain that care-free attitude I had after my holidays and see what fun I could get up to.. even if it’s not ‘fun’ that I’m wanting in my life.

Or perhaps I need to stop hoping for more than what’s on offer at the moment.

Time will tell I suppose.

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13 thoughts on “A Dating Dry Spell

  1. i hope you still belive in dating. It’s romantic, adrenaline charged, and nothing better than trying to get to know someone. I think dating and sex should not be confused. We should not date just to get laid, as this usually results in no second date or a booty call friend. Good luck, and I belive their are still good men out in singleville. Ivan.

    • Oh I’ve never stopped believing in dating! It’s just never been something I’ve done much of over the years.. probably because I was only meeting guys interested in just sex, so any ‘dates’ were just windows dressing for the sex. And you’re right.. generally weren’t many (if at all) 2nd dates.

      But funnily enough I ended up having a third date last night with the guy I wrote about. And was the first time anything really sexual occurred between us. So maybe the key to it is to hold off sex for the first couple dates. Lol

      Now fingers crossed for a 4th date 😊

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