Being single can really suck at times, and trying to navigate through the gay dating scene can seem almost like torture. But yet we’re willing to be masochists and jump right back in, even when it seems like we’re not getting the results we’d like.
But are we actually letting the world make us believe that it’s our own fault that we’re single? Well.. yes and no. When you’re not making yourself available or open to opportunities, you’re not doing anything to change your situation.
Allow room for spontaneity in your life
We all have people in our lives that seem to be constantly busy, and are never up for anything last minute. These guys tend to organise their lives so far in advance that you end up trying to find ways to fit yourself into their diary instead of just going with the flow.
Too many seem afraid to allowing spontaneity into their lives, as if it’ll make the world spiral out of control if the day isn’t perfectly organised. If you don’t take the risk to get out there and put yourself in new or unplanned situations, then how do you expect to meet someone new? Or if you can’t change your plans, why not invite your crush-du-jour to join you.. it’s a great way to see how they interact with your friends, and vice versa.
Be proud to be yourself
Let’s be honest – there are way too many fakers out there, with their perfect lives and fabulous vacations, which they’ll recount to no end to ensure you’re green with envy.
Seriously, what’s the point? What do they truly expect to gain from hiding who they really are from a prospective new beau? They’re setting themselves up for disappointment and heartbreak because they’re secretly afraid of being judged for who they really are.
Instead just be yourself from the start, goofy quirks and all. Because in the end what you really want is someone who gets who you really are from the start, not some hyped up version of yourself you think others will like. Don’t dim your own light around others, because the most valuable trait you can possess is your own authenticity.
Know your moral compass
Too often we’ll meet people who’ll try to sway us from our goals and focus in life, be it our dreams for the future, how we relate to others, or even how we choose to live our lives. These goals are what fuel our drive and motivation, and we should never allow another person to judge us or bring us down based on their own limitations.
Basically it’s your life, and it’s the only one you’ve got to live. So why not make a stand for who you are and what you believe in, instead of letting that new sexy guy over-ride your ideals and thoughts. And when you enter the dating scene knowing what you want and look for, then you’re more likely to find someone compatible with similar morals in life.
To thine own self be true
We’ve all faced the feared question in job interviews – Where do you see yourself in 5/10 years? – and regardless of whatever corporate drivel you spew out to impress that prospective boss, what does it really matter if you’re not the man you want to be.
Too often we focus solely on improving our careers or material possessions instead of working on improving ourselves. Why not take that extra energy and put it into your own life. Improve who you are as a person, and in the long run that ‘career’ will find itself to the happier, more contented version of yourself because you’re actually ready for it.
Love yourself.. emotionally
We’ve all heard the cliché that you’ll never find someone special if you don’t already love and appreciate yourself. And despite it being trite, it’s actually true. So how do you expect to meet Mr Right when you’re projecting the idea that you’re undateable or not good enough?
You’re an awesome human being, and everyone around you knows it and loves you for you .. so why don’t you? Stop being scared of loving who you are as a person and trust that others will appreciate it as well. Let your positive light lead the moths to your flame.
Be good towards others
Part of life is we all make mistakes and no-one wants these broadcast to the world, so why is it we spend so much time shaming others when they screw up? Who cares if someone did something wrong, or doesn’t fit into your perfect mould of how a man should act. It’s probably not the end of the world (unless they’re some maniacal evil genius, obviously lol), so why not just laugh it off and focus on how the person makes you feel instead.
The best way to make a guy feel important and admire you for it is to give him your focus. When you’re chatting with some cutie focus on him and what he’s saying, not on what’s going on around you or any possible messages you’ve receive on those dating apps. Put away the mobile, stop staring at the exit to see who’s coming or leaving, and instead just truly listen to what he has to say. It’ll make all the difference in the world.
Don’t live to work
Too many people put their careers before their personal lives, and in the end both tend to suffer for it. How are you going to fuel your creativity or recharge your zest for life if you allow your work to overtake every other part of your life? By ensuring you’re enjoying life itself, you’ll end up more satisfied in life and you’ll find you’re giving a visible value to your world.
Trust your instincts
Stop going dating with blinders on, because you’ll continue to miss on the crucial red-flags that’ll end with you in tears wondering why ‘Prince Charming’ doesn’t love you and turned into such a dick.
It’s crucial to be open-minded but not so naïve that you let the other guy walk all over you. Be strong and courageous in your dating life, but don’t neglect your gut instincts.
You’ll be much happier for it.. and you’ll find your real ‘Mr Right’ in the end.