I’m not sure why, but lately I’m finding life a bit difficult. And I keep questioning where I am in life, and whether it’s time for a change. But the problem is, I’m not sure what that change should be – work, home, city or something I’m not even seeing.
Over the past few months, I’ve seen a few rooms to rent, some in decent areas and some in areas I couldn’t imagine living in. I get daily email notifications of new ads, but not many really get me excited to bother seeing them.
Or when I do see something I like, there’s always something that stops me from messaging the advertiser and setting up a viewing. Usually it’s the location, the cost, or it’s the people already living there. Or all three.
I don’t know if I’m just being picky, but I don’t want to spend any more than I already am in rent, and the last thing I want to do is move into a place sharing with 4 or 5 people, most of whom seem to be in their mid-20’s. I just want somewhere decent that I can call home and be comfortable having people over to occasionally.
The other thing that feels like needs changing really soon is my job. Or at least the amount of money I’m making.
I don’t particularly hate my job, but I do wish there was more support and a much better salary. Generally we’re expected to work harder and harder with no additional remuneration.
In fact, I’m currently in the middle of a two week period where my supervisor is on holidays, and I’m left to cover the entire department by myself (there’s just the two of us). Everyday last week I was so tired that once I got home the only thing I wanted to do was go to sleep.. forgoing cooking or cleaning up for a bit of extra time in bed.
And that’s not good. I shouldn’t be so exhausted after work that I’m not taking care of myself or actually living a life of some sort. And when it came to this weekend (a 3-day weekend thanks to a bank holiday on Monday), all I wanted to do was stay in bed even if I couldn’t.
It could just be that I really need a nice relaxing holiday, away from London and work. Somewhere sunny, where I can lay beside a pool or on a beach and just relax. And recharge. Not that I can afford that..
Or is it time for a much bigger change?
This week coming is my 7 year anniversary of moving to London and I’m sort of wondering if this is the fabled ‘7 year itch’ coming along.
However I have no clue where’d I’d move to if I did leave London. I have no plans of moving back to Canada, mostly because I think of the UK as home now.
My best mate P has said many times that I should move up to Scotland, and I do admit I’m quite tempted. If I did, we could hang out more often than the couple times a year we see each other.
But again I worry about the job prospects and how I could possibly afford such a move. My current job’s salary doesn’t leave me much room to save up for something like that, and despite trying to be careful, I’m finding myself using my credit card way too much.
I just don’t know what to do at the moment.. I’m feeling a bit stuck, and for whatever reason, afraid to make a leap of faith like I did when I first moved to London 7 years ago. That took a lot of guts (and money lol), and I think I need to find that adventurous spirit again.
I suppose only time will tell what will happen next..