Sometimes when we’re feeling down or vulnerable, we can’t help but push those that care about us away. Even when we don’t realise we’re doing it.
Sometimes we can be afraid to open up about what’s bothering us, or we’re afraid they may look at us as being too ‘needy’ (see previous post).
So when we’re feeling this way, we need to be proactive about how we interact with others and with ourselves really, and let people in when we’re vulnerable. All it can do it make you feel better in the long run.
Identify the reasons behind it
Is there a specific reason you’re purposely pushing a certain person away? What are you feeling when thinking about that person? Nervous? Scared? Intimidated?
You need to have a good think about that person and visualise them in your head while paying attention to those feelings. It’s the first step to breaking the habit of pushing people away during those times when you probably need them most.
Look within yourself
Let’s be honest, we’ve all been hurt at one point or another in our lives, and this can have a knock-on affect on our ability to trust other people or let them close.
In order to be a confident, strong person who let’s people in, you need to conquer these negative feelings within yourself in order to let others in again.
Talk things out
As much as we all try to be strong and keep things bottled up to deal with ourselves, sometimes it’s much more cathartic to talk things out as a way to realise that you’re truly not alone in your feelings.
You don’t have to go as far as speaking with a professional or go into intricate details, but opening up enough to unload those pent up feelings can be a world of help.
Build your self-confidence
Too often when we’re feeling down on life, we can get down on ourselves and allow negative thinking to overtake our self-confidence. This is clearly detrimental and will only make things worse in the long run.
Instead, why not make yourself a list of things that make you unique or that you like about yourself. Or even get a friend to do it with you and then compare notes. Not only will it help you focus on the positive parts of your life, but it could open your eyes to how others perceive you.
Tear down the wall
Don’t let your past experiences stop you from missing out of things that may be right in front of you. Not every person you meet is going to hurt you, and you can’t allow yourself to hide behind a barrier that prevents anyone from getting close.
Whether you realise it or not, there are people out there that love and appreciate you for who you are, not for what you can do for them. Just let them in.
Fake it til you make it
Instead just go ahead and face the world with a big smile on your face, even if you don’t want to. It’ll help project confidence to others, regardless of how you’re feeling inside, and eventually it should become reality.
Also, repeating positive mantras throughout the day can help you get past the rough patches.
Sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself, ignoring your friends or loved ones, can only be detrimental to you in the long run. How will it help you get past things if you wallow in self-pity?
Instead, get off your ass and go live life to the fullest. Be willing to do new things and take risks. It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant you’ve never considered going to before, to even pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to do something new. This is an instant confidence boost, and could lead you to meeting someone new.