At some point in all of our dating lives, we’ll go through a dry spell of sorts. It’s different for every person, and everyone has their own idea of what constitutes one or what length of time it encompasses. For some it’s about when they last had an actual date, and for others it’s when they last had a shag.
For me at the moment, it’s been about 4 months since I’ve met anyone for any sort of sexual fun, and even longer since I met someone single and interested in going on a date or whatever. A very very long time…
At the moment, I’m becoming increasingly frustrated at how I’m not meeting any single guys. Or at least any single guys I find attractive that actually want to get to know me for something other than just sex.
Oh who am I kidding, I’m not even meeting any attractive guys for just sex these days. And the few messages I do get online are usually from guys I find ugly or physically repulsive. That may be a bit harsh, but it is kind of true.
A mate of mine seems to think that I’m just being too picky at the moment when it comes to guys. But why should I sleep with someone I’m not attracted to just for the sake of having sex? Isn’t that just being indiscriminatingly slutty?
I think the main issue I’m having at the moment is that I’m not all that interested in sex just for the sake of getting laid. Sure, I definitely miss it (who wouldn’t lol), but at the moment I’m more interested in meeting someone interesting who might want to go on a few dates or could potentially lead to some kind of relationship.
Of course the problem with that is, when meeting guys on the apps or at the bars, they’re usually just out for a bit of fun. And sadly quite a few of them are in open relationships, so there’s no hope of anything more than just sex.
I suppose I’m just looking for something a bit different than just a roll in the proverbial hay. So what’s a guy like me to do? Go out on dates with guys I’m not attracted to just for the sake of saying I had a date? Go spend an afternoon or evening at the sauna just to get laid?
I honestly don’t know. What I do know is what I’m doing currently really isn’t getting me anywhere, so I need to change something. Change the approach to things, or perhaps the scenery. Or who knows.
Although I know I shouldn’t think this way, I do wonder if there is something about me that puts guys off from wanting to date me, or if there is something I’m putting out there that says ‘use me for sex and that’s it’.
I’m probably over-simplifying it and definitely overthinking it, but it’s hard not to think that way. When the only guys who hit on you are unattractive (to me), unavailable, or just plain partnered, it’s hard not to get somewhat jaded about the whole idea of dating or meeting someone special.
Especially after close to 20 years of this. And the longer this continues, the harder I think it’ll be for me to open my heart up to someone, as I’ll automatically assume they’re only after sex.
At times I think that perhaps I need to give up the ghost (and hope) of ever finding someone special. That may seem defeatist and definitely negative, but that may be a more realistic approach to things.
And that would definitely suck, as I’m totally a romantic at heart and feel I have a lot of love to give. I just wish I could find someone who’d be a willing recipient of it, while returning it in kind.
Because let’s be honest – as amazing as the love from dear friends and family is, platonic love can only take you so far.