More Dating Debacles – The Second Date

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It’s such a lovely feeling when you’ve met up with someone nice or interesting and you’ve agreed to meet them for a second date.  Sometimes things just never progress past a first date, which is fine as not everyone is compatible.

But let’s be honest, sometimes there really shouldn’t be a second date regardless of how well the first one went.  And sometimes the second date with someone mediocre could be even better than the first.

Not too long ago, I met a kinda sexy Italian guy for a couple drinks on a Friday night, and despite having trouble understanding him at times (very thick accent), we’d ended the night have a bit of a snog on the sidewalk after we’d left the pub.

About a month or so later and several text conversations about going for a drink again, we finally agreed to meet for drinks one Friday after work.

However alarm bells should have been ringing in my head as we were arranging things when he (presumably) joked asking if I was going to bring a friend with me.. Because he would love to have a threesome with me.

Ummm.. huh???  Where did that come from?  Especially since we hadn’t really chatted about sex at all.

Playing along a bit, I asked ‘Am I not enough for you?’ (loaded question, I know..), to which he quickly back-pedalled, stating of course I was.

beardy threesomeI just brushed it off as some harmless joking and flirting…

…Until the morning of the day we were to meet, when he messaged me asking if it was ok if he brought a friend with him.

Seriously?!?  WTF??

Sure, there’s the old stereotypical joke about what does a gay man bring on a second date – they bring a second date.  But was that what he was really hoping would happen, that this ‘drink’ would turn into a threesome?

Instead of running for the hills, I told him it was fine if he brought his ‘friend’ as long as he wasn’t expecting some crazy threesome.  I made sure that he understood that, because I don’t just jump into bed with just anyone, especially not someone I’ve never met.

He once again tried to play it off as a joke, saying something along the lines of two guys for him.  Then tried to play it off as him being a silly Italian, as if that somehow explained it all, and then said he just wanted to invite his friend out as he was ‘new’.

This made me think that maybe he was inviting the guy out because he’s new in town or doesn’t know a lot of people, which is admirable to an extent.  But if you’re going out with someone on a date (at least that’s how I was looking at it..), bringing someone else along doesn’t exactly give a lot of confidence in your interest.

But maybe that’s just me.

So, time came to meet up for the drink, and the friend didn’t show up until about an hour later.  And even then, he only stayed for one drink before heading home because he had to get up early for work.

It wasn’t awkward or anything, and there was no mention of anything happening between the three of us (and it wouldn’t have, as I didn’t find the friend attractive at all), but I can’t help but wonder what the Italian’s motives were behind it all.

Afterwards the two of us went to my place for a bit of fun, but I got the impression that he wasn’t all that interested or was somehow disappointed with how the evening went.  It wasn’t anything he said, but when we were playing around there was a definite lack of physical reaction on his part, if you know what I mean.  😉

disappointmentWho am I kidding, there just wasn’t any passion between us.  At least not on my part.

In the end, this ‘second date’ just left me feeling disappointed and frustrated (on more than one level lol) about the whole thing.

Guess it goes to show that you need to trust your instincts, regardless of how desperate for a date you are.  😉

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4 thoughts on “More Dating Debacles – The Second Date

  1. aguywithoutboxers

    The many pitfalls of dating in our world. Unfortunately, this and similar situations aren’t all that unusual. Far too many merely assume they’re communicating on the same level when the exact opposite is happening. It’s good that you stuck to your principles rather than coping with regrets. Much love and naked hugs, Martin! 🙂

    • Well I have to admit, if his friend was hot I might have considered it hahaha But yeah, there are many out there that just assume everyone else will react how they do in certain situations.

  2. I have just posted a posting about dating. It’s a very Wierd world all this dating and getting to know someone. But worth it, I loved the joke about the second date. What is it with threesomes, I once invited a date over for a meal and some of the Neighbour who were two guy guys dropped in. I learnt later they all had a 3some, as my Date left with them. I really liked that guy, but turns out it was not meant to be. Maybe because I am so reserved when I first meet people for the first time. Great post as always. Ivan.

    • Thanks Ivan. I’ve heard it’s worth it, but only time will tell if I’ll get the chance myself. As for threesomes, they can be fun if you’re with the right people, but I honestly don’t understand the need to continually invite a third (or fourth, or fifth, etc) when you’re first seeing someone. Kinda takes the fun out of it.. Or makes ones insecurities rare their head.

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