It’s such a lovely feeling when you’ve met up with someone nice or interesting and you’ve agreed to meet them for a second date. Sometimes things just never progress past a first date, which is fine as not everyone is compatible.
But let’s be honest, sometimes there really shouldn’t be a second date regardless of how well the first one went. And sometimes the second date with someone mediocre could be even better than the first.
Not too long ago, I met a kinda sexy Italian guy for a couple drinks on a Friday night, and despite having trouble understanding him at times (very thick accent), we’d ended the night have a bit of a snog on the sidewalk after we’d left the pub.
About a month or so later and several text conversations about going for a drink again, we finally agreed to meet for drinks one Friday after work.
However alarm bells should have been ringing in my head as we were arranging things when he (presumably) joked asking if I was going to bring a friend with me.. Because he would love to have a threesome with me.
Ummm.. huh??? Where did that come from? Especially since we hadn’t really chatted about sex at all.
Playing along a bit, I asked ‘Am I not enough for you?’ (loaded question, I know..), to which he quickly back-pedalled, stating of course I was.
…Until the morning of the day we were to meet, when he messaged me asking if it was ok if he brought a friend with him.
Sure, there’s the old stereotypical joke about what does a gay man bring on a second date – they bring a second date. But was that what he was really hoping would happen, that this ‘drink’ would turn into a threesome?
Instead of running for the hills, I told him it was fine if he brought his ‘friend’ as long as he wasn’t expecting some crazy threesome. I made sure that he understood that, because I don’t just jump into bed with just anyone, especially not someone I’ve never met.
He once again tried to play it off as a joke, saying something along the lines of two guys for him. Then tried to play it off as him being a silly Italian, as if that somehow explained it all, and then said he just wanted to invite his friend out as he was ‘new’.
This made me think that maybe he was inviting the guy out because he’s new in town or doesn’t know a lot of people, which is admirable to an extent. But if you’re going out with someone on a date (at least that’s how I was looking at it..), bringing someone else along doesn’t exactly give a lot of confidence in your interest.
But maybe that’s just me.
So, time came to meet up for the drink, and the friend didn’t show up until about an hour later. And even then, he only stayed for one drink before heading home because he had to get up early for work.
It wasn’t awkward or anything, and there was no mention of anything happening between the three of us (and it wouldn’t have, as I didn’t find the friend attractive at all), but I can’t help but wonder what the Italian’s motives were behind it all.
Afterwards the two of us went to my place for a bit of fun, but I got the impression that he wasn’t all that interested or was somehow disappointed with how the evening went. It wasn’t anything he said, but when we were playing around there was a definite lack of physical reaction on his part, if you know what I mean. 😉
In the end, this ‘second date’ just left me feeling disappointed and frustrated (on more than one level lol) about the whole thing.
Guess it goes to show that you need to trust your instincts, regardless of how desperate for a date you are. 😉