Digital Dating – Private Pics

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As if being a single gay man and looking for love/lust/sex/whatever strikes your fancy through the various smartphones apps and online websites wasn’t daunting enough, but apparently we all need to be amateur porn stars too.

Or at least it can sometimes seem that way at times.

Although it’s really nothing that new, but these days everyone seems to have a few nudie pics of themselves and are sharing them with every Tom, Dick or Harry they chat to.

But is this a good or bad thing?  At what point have we gone from being open about ourselves and our bodies to oversharing?  Have we gone past the point of saving a bit of mystery for later on in the dating process?

Admittedly a large percentage of the guys using these apps are just looking for a hot shag, but is immediately opening your private pics or sending a couple of dick/ass shots the best way to start a new conversation?  Whatever happened to saying ‘Hi’ first at the very least?

Now I don’t mind seeing a bit more of some hot guy at some point in the conversation, but not as an opening line.  Is that supposed to make me fall to my knees and beg for it?  Ummm, I don’t think so.  LOL

I suppose everyone has their own comfort levels when it comes to sharing their naughty pics with whomever they’re chatting to, and that’s cool.  For me, I want to get to know someone a bit more before I start seeing parts of them I’d rather discover in the bedroom.

And to be fair, I’m more interested in how they kiss and cuddle than if they’ve got a monster shlong, or pictures of them performing/receiving either oral or anal sex, or even what they look like when they’ve reached orgasm.

Yes, it’s happened on many occasions.. usually in video form lol.

As for my own pictures, I tend to only send them to those guys I’m actually interested in, if I send them at all.  A few years ago I made the conscious decision to remove most (if not all) of my private pictures from the various sites/apps I’m on and replaced them with other pics of myself.  Different face pics, or candid shots when out with friends.  Pictures that I hope would show more about me and my personality.

Oh who am I kidding.  Most of these guys online really aren’t interested in seeing our personalities.  😉

I do find it interesting (and more than a little bit sad) how we’ve moved away from actually getting to know each other to seemingly trying to determine sexual compatibility by looking at a few naughty pics.  It’s as if, as gay men, we can’t decide to meet someone unless we’ve seen every naked pic of a guy from every conceivable angle.

Are we so obsessed with sex that we won’t even try to find emotional or mental connections with someone before deciding to exchange bodily fluids?

Or maybe I’m just an old-school hopeless romantic who misses the days when you’d meet people for actual dates before jumping in the sack.  Mostly.  😉

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5 thoughts on “Digital Dating – Private Pics

  1. aguywithoutboxers

    Excellent commentary, my blogging buddy! Even though I have countless nonsexual photos of my nudity on my site, it is a nudist blog! I do agree with you, in principle. I hate to see a photo of someone in the height of an orgasm. I think we all know how absurd we look in that moment! Much love and naked hugs, my friend!

    • Thanks my friend. Of course, nude pics on a nudist blog is something completely different. LOL I supposed I’m just tired of how it’s all about sex on those chat sites/apps and not about actually meeting interesting people. But that’s probably just me 😉

  2. Very candid blog posting. The way I see it, is this not the minority of people on those sites, and one of the first lessons I learnt in marketing, sex sells. If you up for a booty call sure no problem, but what about old fashion dating and getting to know the clothed person first. I am not innocent Al all, but I agree it’s all over sharing and has this raised my question, is it just sex and that the intimacy and wonder of being with someone just now becomining less of an option. What I see and read scares the crap out of me, can we as men be faithful and does the size of my d&$k, determine who I am and if I will be liked. It’s a whole new world out there one I must say I don’t like. Great post. Ivan

    • To be honest, I don’t know if it is the minority of the guys online or not, probably because it just seems (to me) that any guy I chat to is looking to view the goods first before deciding if they want to meet up. I’m sure there are men out there who don’t overshare and are faithful.. I just don’t think they’re on their sites, if any at all.

      And it scares the crap out of me too, and I’m the one who’s trying to wade through it all lol

      • When you least expect it you will meet your one and only.
        Selfies generation. Over share self obsession and let’s be honest if you want to watch porn then not on a dating site. Maybe you should write a blog about dating in the app world. Ivan

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