Value of Friendship

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It never stops to amaze me how some people just don’t know how to be a friend, or how to properly treat their friends.  Our friends are like our families, and it’s important to cultivate these relationships to ensure they thrive and grow over the years.

This is especially important in the gay community, as there are a lot of us out there whose friends ARE their families for one reason or another.  And without that network of dear friends to support and guide us through life, a lot of us wouldn’t have gotten to where we are today, wherever that is in each of our individual lives.

For myself, I’ve never been super close to my family even before I came out of the closet.  So over the years I’ve had to rely on dear sweet friends to become my family and support network.  It wasn’t because my family and I didn’t get along, because that’s not the case.  It was more because we’ve just never been that close and I didn’t feel like I could go to them with the issues I was going through.

And that’s too bad.  I would have loved to have had a closer relationship with them (it’s surprisingly a little better these days compared to when I still lived in the same country as them hahaha), but sometimes it’s best to move past what you can’t change and make sure you have people there for you when you need them.  And vice versa obviously.

Best_FriendsAdmittedly there has been times over the years when I didn’t have many friends to lean on, as some people tend to fade away when things aren’t going well.  And that’s okay, because it shows you who your true friends are.

For me, I’d do anything for my friends.  They’re always there for me, so of course I’d always return the favour when they’re feeling down or going through a rough time.  That’s the whole point of being friends, right?

Unfortunately there are too many out there who would take advantage of someone’s generous nature or their trust, all in the name of friendship.  They are only there for their own selfishness, be it intentional or not, and can’t seem to see how their actions can affect their ‘friends’.

The thing is when you’re on the receiving end of this behaviour, you can only take it for so long before you can’t do anything else but walk away for your own sanity.  Friends need to be there to support each other, not for one to act the ‘parent’ so the other (child) can continue to do what they want, safe in the knowledge their ‘parent’ is there to clean things up for them.

why-friends-are-important1That is not a healthy relationship.

We are all adults, whether we want to be or not, so we need to grow up and take responsibility for our own lives.  That doesn’t mean you can’t go out and have fun, but instead means you have to be aware of your own actions.  And accept the consequences of them.

And if you’re not happy with your behaviour, then you need to do something to change it and soon.  Because if you don’t or if you wait too long, those loving friends may not be there any more.

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8 thoughts on “Value of Friendship

  1. aguywithoutboxers

    Excellent and so true! Every word you typed! There are far too many “draining” friends and too few “nurturing” friends in this world. Instead of give and take, they want to take all they can and then move on. That’s fine if you’re a mosquito. It’s not attractive in humans. Much love and naked hugs! 🙂

    • My thoughts exactly. Unfortunately it’s not always easy to identify those draining friends at first, but once you do the only thing you can do is walk away.. for your own sanity.

  2. On family I can relate, I have this feeling of abandonment as they all left were we all lived. And friends sure are needed especially when you gay, not sure why we as human are always looking for approval. Great post. Ivan

    • Thanks Ivan. Feeling abandoned is never easy to get past, be it from friends or family. But all you can do is dust yourself off and move forward towards what you need in life.

      • I agree and to be frank, my family is now William and what we have created. May not be acceptable to others but it’s our lives. Two men who have a very boring life to be honest. Ivan.

  3. The Howling Fantogs

    I agree. Even though I do have a close family, none of them can understand me like my friends do. No matter how much soneone accepts your sexuality, no one can understand it like your gay friends.

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