Brushing Myself Off


depressed-man-mainAlthough I haven’t really been writing about it, things in my life haven’t been all that great lately.  I’ve been feeling down about several things in my life, and struggling to maintain a grip on day to day stuff.

Well, as of yesterday, the bottom just dropped out of everything – I lost my job. 😦

I’m not going to go into the intricate details of the why or how, but basically I was let go from the job I’ve had for the past year due to my poor attendance.  Over the past 9 months or so, my health hasn’t been very good, even to the point where I was signed off work at one point due to migraines and insomnia.

So, because of my absence levels, the company decided to end my employment with immediate effect.. which means I’m back to job hunting all over again.  I think part of what’s been bothering me over the past couple weeks was this impending doom regarding work, as I was pretty sure it may come to this.

Of course I was hoping against hope that maybe they’d give me one last chance, since they’ve had nothing but praise for my actual work, but alas even the best worker is screwed when it comes to something like this.

Man-holding-NEED-WORK-signI’m doing my best not to freak out about it or let it get me down too much, as I can’t afford to completely lose it right now.  Looking for work is never a fun or easy thing to have to go through, but it just means I have to get on with it.

I’m also trying my best not to beat myself up about it.  Sure, I feel absolutely stupid about the whole thing, as my attendance is something that is clearly in my control, but I’m trying to ward off the negative thoughts .. for now.

I just really hope it doesn’t last as long as my previous unemployment (a year), as I don’t think I could go through that again.  That time was one of the most depressing in my life, and I think the after affects of that time are still with me now.

I think what has helped me feel surprisingly calm about it today was hanging out with a mate last night – chilling, playing video games, eating pizza.. and allowing myself a good cry over a job I really didn’t like but needed financially.  Oh and hugs.  Those always help.

So.. fingers crossed I can find something that keeps me going asap.

11 thoughts on “Brushing Myself Off

  1. aguywithoutboxers

    Good luck with the search. You did it before and you can do it again. You weren’t that thrilled with your previous job, so use this opportunity to get one that you like. Much love and naked hugs! 🙂

  2. ivansblogworld

    Was sad to read this, as you said it was not the dream job, however it was a paycheck. May I ask if you suffer from depression? I do and I tend to go into a very dark “place” it’s something I am very aware of. Holidays, weather can trigger this for me. A good cry does in some strange way help. Maybe it’s the physical act of crying.

    All I can say is you not alone and I hope that tomorrow is one brilliant day. Ivan.

    • Thanks Ivan, I appreciate that. Yeah I do suffer from depression from time to time, and part of me thinks that, despite knowing better, a lot of the absences were just from being unhappy with what I was doing.. And now I’m back to where I was last year before the job. Not a good place to be, but I’m trying to be optimistic and see it as an opportunity to find something better.

  3. Oh my friend, I wish you well with your new job journey. I have been an eternal job seeker for years now. I seem to move from one job to the next, mostly because, in the past, I have lacked focus on what I really want to be doing. I’ve been reading and thinking a lot lately about this. I hope I am moving in the right direction. I would encourage you to take some time for yourself (to relax if possible) and also do some self searching inside. Every negative can be seen as a positive if we just change the angle we are looking at it from. Just know that you are not alone in job hunting. I wish you the best of luck.

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