We all want to be happy. We want a good job, great friends, an amazing partner, a place to call home, and a life worth enjoying.
I know I do.
Sounds simple, but why don’t more of us have that happiness we all seemingly desperately crave?
It’s because we’re doing the wrong things.. According to an article over on Mark & Angel Hack Life (click the link at the bottom for the original article). They say that ‘When you quit doing the wrong things, you make more room for the things that make you happy.’
1. Quit procrastinating on your goals.
We all do it, even when we’re telling ourselves we’re not. We all put off the things we know we should be doing – looking for a new job, working on that novel, doing the laundry, going to the gym – and instead focus on other things that are less important or likely to have less of an impact on our lives.
The thing is by putting things off for tomorrow what we should be doing today it makes it harder and more daunting to tackle, and could end up stressing ourselves out over it all. Instead take the first step to getting started, build up momentum, forget about the finish line, and before you know it you’ll be surprised where you end up.
2. Quit blaming others and making excuses.
Sometimes it’s so much easier to just blame someone else for the stuff that isn’t going well in our lives. We look for a scapegoat for what we’re going through instead of being honest with ourselves for where our lives are. Placing the blame on others or making excuses gives away the power to affect our own lives, and in the end just perpetuates the problems. Own up to it all and remember we are all responsible for our own lives, not someone else.
3. Quit trying to avoid change.
Change can suck sometimes, especially when our lives suddenly drop out from under us. We need to stop being so complacent and comfortable while the world continues to change around us. By accepting change, it allows us to grow as people and see life in a way we never thought was possible.
Learning to accept change is vital to our own happiness and success in life, regardless if it’s a good or bad change. We need to roll with the punches and remember that things do improve, and that things do happen for a reason. When we battle through the tough times, we come out the other side stronger and more determined.
4. Quit trying to control the uncontrollable.
Too often, we try to control every aspect of our lives instead of letting parts of it happen organically. When you’re trying to control everything around you, you’re just setting yourself up for failure, frustration and ultimately unhappiness.
We can only control so much in our lives, and we should focus on those things we can influence that would improve our happiness. If you approach life with a positive attitude, then you’re more likely to get positive results. Just best to let go what you can’t control.
5. Quit talking down to yourself.
Who hasn’t stared at themselves in the mirror and criticised themselves for the choices or actions they’ve taken? It’s probably the most destructive thing you can do to yourself, as it will help fester the negative feelings you have towards yourself.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
Sometimes you’re not even conscious how this self doubt and negative talk is affecting your approach to life, as well as the decisions you’re making. It make sound easier to say then do, but when you replace the negativity with positive thoughts, your life will careen into a different and better trajectory.
6. Quit criticizing others.
Let’s be honest – when you are regularly putting others down for whatever perceived flaws you see in them, that negativity will gradually creep back into your own life and cripple you. You need to focus on your own life and work on your own imperfections, not the ones you see in everyone else.
By focusing on your own growth and improvement, you’ll stop feeling threatened by others, and you’ll start to be more comfortable with your own imperfections and will feel less threatened by others.
7. Quit running from your problems and fears.
Everyone has problems in their lives or fears of failure. When you compare your issues to those around you, you’ll eventually realise that maybe your issues aren’t so dire or urgent. And hopefully you’ll realise it’s better to tackle them head on instead of trying to run away from them, regardless of how dire you may make them seem.
By giving into your fears you’re setting yourself up for failure, as you’ll never take the chance or make the decision that could possibly change your life for the better. Stop being complicit in your life or your decisions, because life is full of small, unique experiences that build up who you are, and you may miss out on becoming the best you you can be.
Letting your fears and worries control you is not ‘living,’ it’s merely existing. Own your fears before the own you.
8. Quit living in another time and place.
Sometimes it’s too easy to think of how things used to be, how you could have acted differently in certain situations, or even daydream about the future. This is counterproductive to your day to day life, as lamenting about the past and speculating on the future doesn’t change anything about your present.
It’s all about living in the moment, meaning you need to actively, openly and consciously be aware of the present. Pay attention to what’s going on around you right this moment, not what may or may not happen, or what has already happened.
9. Quit trying to be someone you’re not.
Just be yourself, not who the world around you is trying make you become. It’s not always easy, as life can challenge you while society around you applies pressures to make you into someone you’re not. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, and younger coming along behind you, but you can’t stop being yourself.
10. Quit being ungrateful.
Be thankful for how your life is right now. Not everything you do will work out for the best, but that’s ok. That just means it wasn’t meant to be, and it allows you to make room for the stuff that will.
Too often we all think about what we’re missing out on instead of what you do have. You never know, there could be someone there that is desperately thinking that something you have is what they’re missing. Focus on yourself and how your life is going, not how it compares to those around you.