It’s OK To Be Single

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stay-single-and-be-happySo apparently It’s OK To Be Single.  Or at least it is according to an article over on Dr Nerd Love.

Hell, that’s something I’ve been trying to tell myself for years.  LOL

When you’re single, the entire world seems intent on reminding you how single you are.  All you have to do is step outside, turn on the tv, or even hang out with friends who’ve found someone.  Or even worse, the dreaded Valentine’s Day ‘holiday’ that celebrates love and seemingly makes anyone who’s not in a relationship feel bad about themselves.

...everywhere you look, it’s wall to wall happy couples and a constant barrage of messages that tells you that if you’re not in a relationship right now, then there’s something wrong with you. The longer you’ve been single, the greater the feelings of judgement and lack of worth. 

Anyone who’s been single a long period of time can definitely relate to that.  When you’re single and wishing otherwise, you can’t help to sometimes feel bad about yourself, your life, and yes, feel like you’re worthless or defective.

I know I’ve felt like that many times over the years – still do to be honest – but is this really the best way to deal with being single?  Continually beating yourself up just because you haven’t found someone special, or aren’t dating someone at that point in time?

Of course it’s not.  It’s self-destructive (trust me, I know..) and counter productive to living your life.

YOUR life, not someone else’s.  It’s all yours and only you can be the architect of your own happiness, regardless if you’re in a relationship or not.

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Can you tell I’m trying to be more upbeat and positive about life, instead of my usual miserable, negative self?  OK, so maybe I’m not there yet, but I am working on it…

I’ve always found it eye-opening to talk with my partnered friends about my eternal singledom.  Most just seem to see the positives about being single, and how lucky that makes me in their eyes.  Some just see the freedom being single gives me when it comes to planning my free time.. and how it gives me freedom to be with any guy I wanted to.

HA!  If only it was that easy.  😉

However when you look at the other side of things (and yes this is me going into my ‘glass half empty’ mode), those things that they feel make me lucky to be single are also the some of the same things that can make being single horrible and extremely lonely.

characters-couple-happy-love-single-Favim.com-57296So, what’s a single guy like me supposed to do?  Go to the bars?  Join uninteresting social groups?  Stay home and cry?  Put on a brave face for your partnered friends to show you’re happy for them despite feeling totally green with envy deep down that they’ve found someone (while still actually being happy for them at the same time)?

Or perhaps sit in a coffee shop and write about the pitfalls of being single on your blog.  On a Friday night.  😉

Truly there is no right or wrong answer, though some ways to dealing with being single are not healthy mentally (or at least they aren’t for me).

I suppose all us singletons can do is just keep on plowing through life in the hope someone interesting might finally come alone.. And maybe stop spending so much time sitting on the mobile apps looking through profiles of hot guys looking for a bit of fun.

As for that aforementioned article about being single (click the link at the bottom of the page to read it in full), they’ve broken it down into 5 main statements:

  • Being Single Isn’t A Reflection On Your Value As A Person
  • The Fail State of A Relationship Isn’t “Single”
  • Being Alone Doesn’t Mean Being Miserable
  • A Relationship Isn’t A Magical Cure
  • You’re Allowed To Be Single and Happy

Every single statement is completely and utterly true.. But for some people (me especially) who can’t seem to see past the negative connotations of being single, trying to get your mindset to change to that way of thinking is a lot harder than just flicking a switch.

Personally, I wish I could just enjoy my life as it is, and spend my energy on more important things like looking for a new job, improving my health/going to the gym, and writing my (not so) little ass off.  😉

Just like anything else, it’s a work in progress.

To read the full article, please click —> It’s OK To Be Single.

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9 thoughts on “It’s OK To Be Single

  1. aguywithoutboxers

    Just as nudity is about body-acceptance, single is about accepting yourself as you are. You have a terrific mind, a quick wit and are sincere and kind. Using those qualities as a foundation, continue to stay focused on the positive, my blogging friend! You have a nakation fast-approaching, who knows what may happen? 😉 Much love and naked hugs, my friend! Excellent resource, man!

  2. This is interesting, and something I currently face. I guess it depends on what other stuff you have going on in your life to take up all your energy, if there isn’t enough, then I guess you will tend to think about how ‘bad single life is’.

    I returned back to education last year as an adult, to finally gain a degree in education and teaching. So studying and enjoying learning again has taken up a huge chunk of my life. If i’m not in lectures or in the library, then i’m now at the gym making myself feel and look physically good, something else I have never bothered too much about previously but now have a great routine for.

    In between that, well I quit my full time job last year and now just have a job that fits around my other commitments and earns me enough to go travelling during my breaks away from university.

    All my couples friends and in steady relationships and thinking about tying themselves down by buying houses. While me? i’m loving life, learning, travelling and when I get my degree in 2 years will be doing something I feel passionate about and teaching overseas.

    And my boyfriend? oh wait… I don’t have one… I don’t care. I don’t have the time, and you know what? It’s hardly crossed my mind, as there are so many over wonderful things taking up my energy.

    Don’t conform to a certain standard or ‘mold’. Do what you wan’t. So what you’re single now, there’s no set way of doing things. You may meet your new partner tomorrow, next week, next month, next year…

    Anywhoo… I think you get my point. Great Blog.

    • Thanks Ashley 😀 It’s interesting.. there’s been times in the past where I’ve been quite content being single, and found myself to always busy going here or there, hanging out with whomever’s around. However these days there aren’t as many people around due to them drifting away or partnering up so they don’t have as much time to hang out with a singleton.

      But like you, I’ve recently joined a gym (waaay overdue) as a way to give myself something to do when I’ve no plans, as well as to help increase my energy levels and improve my health (it’s only been a couple of weeks now, but seems to be going well).

      I know things can change in a heartbeat.. I think for me it gets frustrating because I’ve been waiting for that heartbeat to reach me for years now. Oh well.. here’s hoping it comes sooner rather than later.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.. and good luck with the move in September. It’s the start of a new adventure for you ;D

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