Being single isn’t as easy or as fun as it should be.
Everyone seems to think that when you’re single, your life is a steady stream of fabulousness and fun, fun fun. That you’re always out and about, meeting new people all over the place.
Or at least some of the partnered people I’ve known over the years seem to think so.
I recall chatting to a partnered friend years ago who said I was lucky to be single, because I could do what I wanted, who I wanted, when I wanted. He said he wished he could be single, but the moment he was he’d moan and whine about how he was lonely, which immediately got people to set him up with their single friends.
Something they never tried to do for me, even when I (kinda) joked that they should find me a boyfriend too.. It just went in one ear and out the other.
So here I am now, fully entrenched in my (early) 40’s, still looking for a boyfriend or partner to call my own.
Sure, I’ve casually dated a few guys here and there, but they only wanted a bit of regular fun and would run to hills once they thought I was getting attached (regardless of how they were feeling towards me) so I can’t exactly call them ‘relationships’ let alone boyfriends.
I wouldn’t mind it so much if I had some actual dates here and there, but that be like asking for a miracle these days. The little bit of interest I do get lately are from guys thousands of miles away, usually looking for a chat buddy (read: pic share), or are coming to town for a few days and want to hook up.
And the few local guys who message me? They’re all partnered and looking for a bit of fun on the side (dammit, is anyone monogamous anymore?). And they don’t seem to understand when I ask if they’ve read my profile.. it clearly says ‘single guys only’, but I guess they think that doesn’t actually matter.
What I find absolutely fascinating (and extremely sad) is how my partnered friends seem to have more fun (sex) and go out more than I do. And I’m the single one. I’m the one who should be getting the dates, not them, right?
Don’t get me wrong.. I’ve had some fun times with partnered guys over the years, but it’s not the same as getting to actually date someone where there’s a possibility of it going somewhere. And I’m sure as hell not about to steal someone else’s boyfriend.
I know a lot of it is confidence and knowing what you want. With all of these partnered guys out there playing, it’s just that – PLAY. They (presumably) already have what their looking for waiting at home, so are only out to have a bit of fun, whereas someone like me is still searching.. And not finding anything.
*Sigh* I’m starting to wonder if I’m the last single guy around (I know I’m not, I’m just being a bit of a drama queen lol). It just seems all turned around and wrong somehow that the partnered guys, who’ve already found someone special, can go out and find a second or third someone ‘special’ (or special for that day) at the drop of a hat.
But it’s hard when you’re single and lonely. If you go out to a bar hoping to meet someone, even just for a chat, most of them are there with friends or lovers. And a lot of time, it’s hard to look like you’re not on the prowl when you’re in a pub alone, cause that’s how the others there look at you.
And sure, going out for a couple drinks with a friend or two is brilliant and terrific. It’s my usual thing to do.. Only whenever I’m out with a good friend, other guys automatically assume we’re there as a couple, so they don’t bother approaching either of us (mutual cock-blocking, such fun lol). It happens all too often for my liking.
My problem is the type of guys I’m attracted to – fit, handsome, and damn sexy (like the guys in the pictures on my blog..). There are some chasers/admirers out there who fit that description who like bears like me (I hate that stereotype..), but they seem too far and few between. And the few I do meet, they are only after one thing – sex.
It’s frustrating to say the least.
Yeah I’m moaning.. I’m allowed to, right?