In this day and age of digital dating, it’s can be quite difficult to figure out what a guy might be thinking, and even more frustrating when it seems things change or stop without any prior notice.
We’ve all been there – happily chatting away with some cute guy on an app like Grindr, even talking about meeting up (or going so far to arrange something), and then when you go back to their profile to send them a message, their profile is gone.
Admittedly, and anyone who uses Grindr can agree, sometimes these apps can lose your messages or favourites. But doesn’t it seem somewhat odd that someone you’ve had a perfectly nice and flirty conversation with has suddenly disappeared from your screen?
I don’t often use the Grindr app, as it doesn’t give me many guys that would be interested in someone like me (ie: a bear). It seems to be (mostly) filled with twinks and muscle-queens. As much as some of them are nice to look at, I know the chance of a date with them is slim to non-existent, so I don’t bother.
There have been a couple of local guys I’ve been chatting with on there recently, and it seemed like I might be getting dates out of them (or least a shag in one case).. but now when I go into the app, neither of them show in my favourites or in my chat history. As if the conversations with them never happened.. and I can’t find their profiles anymore, even though they both live locally.
But it’s made me wonder if this is the ‘new’ way of telling someone you’re not interested any more, by simply blocking their profile from seeing yours. I have noticed a trend on some profiles that say ‘if I’m not your type, please block me.. as I’ll do the same‘, or something to that extent.
So these guys will block people they’ve never met or talked to, solely because they’re not their type?? I understand most guys have a specific type and all, but isn’t this taking it a bit too far by excluding anyone you wouldn’t shag based solely on their physical appearance?
And if these guys have blocked me, I’m at a complete loss as to why. Based on our chats, I am their type.
Before I thought these guys might have brushed me off, I thought there was just some problem with the app. So I deleted my profile, uninstalled the app, reinstalled it and re-set up my profile. I saw the first guy’s profile briefly the other night (and added him to my favourites), only for him to disappear again the next day when I logged back in. And I haven’t seen the other guy’s profile at all.
So why should I care? Isn’t this just another example of how callous and self-centred gay men can be these days? Or is this symptomatic of something else, perhaps surrounding me and how I approach these guys online?
It’s not like I was expecting anything to come out of the chats (or potential meets) with these guys. Mostly I was enjoying chatting to someone local for once instead of feeling like I was the only gay in the village, so to speak.
It’s good to have neighbours, but only if they talk to you. lol
If these were brush offs then they’re not guys I’d want to spend my free time with anyway. If they treat someone they’ve never met like that, I can only imagine how they treat their actual friends or lovers.
It’s like the internet has allowed people to forget their manners.. if they had any to begin with that is. 😉