Getting Out of the House

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It’s remarkable how easy it is to stay indoors for a long period of time without leaving the house.  We all have times in our lives where we just want to stay in the comforts of our home, and then there are other times when we’re somehow stuck at home for one reason or another.

manlookingoutwindowAnd sometimes, at least for me, I find myself becoming anxious about being around other people or even out in public in general.  It could be a form of agoraphobia, though that could just be me being overly self-analytical about whatever situation I’m about to put myself into.

So, I haven’t been out of the house all week.

Since last Saturday or Sunday, I have been dealing with an ongoing sinus headache/migraine and a bout of insomnia, the combination of which has become a viscous circle where one is causing the other.  I’ve spent several nights awake until quite late unable to sleep, which in turn is causing the headaches to continue.

This of course has caused me to miss an entire week of work, which is never a good thing.  Even if I don’t particularly like my job.

Yeah I know, it’s probably all in my head, or psychosomatic or whatever you want to call it, but the pain in my head has been real.  The headaches have been bordering on becoming migraines, which are most likely stress-caused even if that stress might be self-created.Man with Headache

So despite the headaches continuing today, I’ve made myself get out of the house and take my laptop to a cafe in Brixton just so I’m not sitting at home like I have been all week.

Probably the worst part of it is how helpless it’s made me feel all week, like I was trapped in this never-ending cycle that wasn’t allowing me to sleep properly and making me seemingly incapable of getting up for work everyday.

Or maybe that’s just a cop-out so I didn’t have to go into work.

So I took a page out of my recent post ‘The Health of Stress‘, and discussed what’s been going on with a friend of mine to see if that would help with the ‘stress’ I’d been feeling.  In fact while chatting to him about all this, it was him who said maybe it was my subconscious hate of my job that was causing the headaches and insomnia to continue, instead of subsiding after a day or so.

And yeah, perhaps that’s exactly what’s going on.

The next day (Thursday I think) I got up feeling more motivated than I’ve felt in awhile, and I spend a good part of the afternoon going over my CV, updating my job hunting profile on a couple sites, and even applying for a few jobs.  I haven’t heard anything back from the jobs I’d applied for yet, but I did get a call from an agency I’d dealt with last year when I was job hunting full time.

On her advice, I modified my CV for a specific job they were recruiting for, so fingers are crossed I get something out of it.  It’s not what I’d truly love to be doing (writing full-time) but at least it’s something I know I’d be good at and would hopefully feel fulfilled by doing.

I also finally got around to writing some fiction, the first piece in quite awhile.  It was only a short story working-in-a-coffee-shop(about 2000 words or so), but it felt good to be creative in a different way from how I write here on this blog.  And I think it’s gotten my creative juices flowing a bit, so I definitely need to make find time to keep writing more stories, perhaps make it a series of some sort.

I may eventually post some of it on here, but based on the content of what I’ve written, I may not.. It’s more in the vein of erotic M2M fiction, so wouldn’t exactly fit with the format and feel of my blog here.  But we’ll see how it goes.  May just have to start a sister blog just for those stories.

So, here’s to (hopefully) getting myself back on track and back to work this coming week, regardless if I enjoy the job or not.

And yeah, to getting out of the house more, even if I feel trapped or whatever about going out in public.

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11 thoughts on “Getting Out of the House

  1. It’s all too easy and extremely nice to stay inside. After all what does the world have to offer sometimes apart from fresh air? Inside you can read, cook, waste time on the internet, sleep – inside is full of delights.

    I had a blogging pal (not sure where they have gone) who did M2M fiction, and other people who write fiction on their main blog. I don’t think it matters where you do it, if it sits right for you. Sometimes it’s good to read fiction on a main blog as it makes an interesting break. If there’s lots then probably a separate blog, but if not, why not post a few on here and see how it goes?

    • Yeah it’s definitely way too easy to just stay inside, especially in this day and age where you can have pretty much delivered, including groceries.

      As for posting fiction on my blog, I have posted some I’d written previously already, but the main reason why I’m considering putting this stuff separate is because it is ummmm.. quite naughty, and wouldn’t want to alienate anyone. The past stuff was just generic stuff. But we’ll see. 😀

      • I doubt your readership is made up of right-wing American evangelicals.

        If you do start a new blog, do add a link, or if you make it private, I expect an email invitation to read 🙂 Thank you.

      • Hmmm a few right-wing American evangelicals would definitely make for interesting conversations on some of my postings lol And don’t worry, you and several others will be top of any invite list 🙂

  2. aguywithoutboxers

    First and foremost, take care of your health, my friend, mentally, physically and emotionally. All my best. You’re taking a positive step by looking for a job, somehow, it’s a little easier when you already have one. LOL! Good luck in finding one. Finally, I’m at home because it’s just too damn cold to go outside, even to run to my car. As always, much love and naked hugs! 🙂

    • Yeah the cold is definitely a factor as well, especially today when it was quite windy and it kept raining on and off (no snow, thank gawd lol).

      I’m definitely feeling a lot better today for getting out of the house and just doing something other than sitting at home. Sure, I spent a couple hours at the coffee shop on my laptop writing and blogging, but it was good to have different surroundings. Plus getting out allowed me to hang with a friend for dinner and a couple drinks – always a good thing to do when I’m in this state of mind.

      As always, thanks so much for the support. I always look forward to hearing your point of view on things I write. Naked hugs all around! lol

      • aguywithoutboxers

        And the same to you my blogging buddy! I’m grateful for your naked hugs…not many men, gay or otherwise…are comfortable with sharing those. They mean a lot to me!

        Glad to know that you’re feeling better in all respects! The next time insomnia returns, sleep naked! All my best! Naked hugs back to you!

  3. Agreed; it’s often far too easy and far too tempting to stay inside. When you’re able to, it’s relaxing. I’m always doing something or working on some type of project; on a few occasions, I’ve found myself having been inside for days without even realizing it. Take care of yourself!

    • Oh absolutely it’s amazing how quickly time/days fly by when you’re busy with one thing or another, and you don’t have a need to get out of the house. And yes, it’s definitely relaxing to be in your own space and just plan comfy. lol

  4. I like being on my own. I need my own company for a few hours everyday, whether it’s just surfing the net or reading a book. Even though I live with my partner, and in a small flat, we spend hours every day on our own and it’s nice to have our own space.

    The headache/migrane and imsomnia you went through sounds terrible and I’m glad you feel better and motivated now. If you find yourself cooped up at home again and you feel you should go out, I’d like to suggest what I used to do, take long walks while plugged into my favourite music or go to the cinema and watch a movie alone. I enjoyed both a lot.

    Looking forward to reading your M2M fiction, M! That reminds me, I should visit Nifty.org as I haven’t done so for some time.

    • I enjoy my time alone as well, but sometimes (like this past week) it can be too much. I have a housemate but we don’t generally hang out together.

      Not sure when or where I’ll be posting the M2M fiction, but when I do I’ll let everyone know 🙂

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