A Lone Wolf in a Cliquey World


Between a recent outing to a party in town and reading a few articles online, it’s gotten me wondering and a tad sad how we’ve gone from being an inclusive community where everyone is welcome, to this group of bitchy, dna-pool-partyoverly critical scene queens that will only socialise with their own group of friends.

Well at least that’s the way it looks to me.

Cliques aren’t all that new to me (or anyone else for that matter).  I was never really part of the popular crowd in school way (waaay) back in the day.  I was friendly with the ‘cool’ kids and occasionally was invited to parties here or there, but for the most part I just stuck with my small group of friends.  But even then I wasn’t necessarily super close to them.

Since school things haven’t really changed much for me.  I still only have a small group of friends that I spent my free time with here and there, and am still not part of any of the popular cliques.  Actually, I’m not part of a clique at all when I think of it.

But to be honest, I don’t really think that’s a bad thing.  Sometimes it’s a good thing to be a ‘lone wolf’ so to speak.

On that recent partying excursion, it reminded me how the people in these groups truly aren’t that friendly to others, and don’t seem to be willing to meet or include new people into their cliques.  They’re all about partying with their friends and that’s it.

outside.looking.inThe funny thing about all of this is how these same guys will chat with you online without any qualms, but god forbid you approach them in a club in front of their friends.  Or if they do acknowledge your presence, it’s usually fairly perfunctory and can sometimes be a tad fake..

Or if you didn’t talk to each other, they message you afterwards asking why you didn’t say hi to them, as if it’s such an easy thing to approach them while they’ve got all their friends around them.

Again, that’s the way it seems to me.

Perhaps that’s me being over-analytical of the situation and reading more into things than are actually there, or maybe even a bit oversensitive that I’m being somewhat excluded from it all.  Let’s be honest, we all want to belong and be part of the fun crowd, and it can sometimes be hard to seemingly be on the outside watching others enjoy life with their cliques while you sit at home alone on a Saturday night.

At the same time though, there’s obviously a reason to not be included in those groups, and most likely it has absolutely nothing to do with me.  I’m not a huge party guy anymore, so why would I want to be part of a clique where it’s party party party?

That isn’t me.gay_friend.jpg_480_480_0_64000_0_1_0

Instead I’m quite happy with the few close friends I do have because I know they’re there beside me because of me, not because of some clique or stereotype.  They’re my friends because they like me for who I am, not how I can fit into some cliched stereotype or what I can do for them.

And that makes it all the better since they’re there for that exact same reason.  Cause they’re their own person and don’t bend (for the most part) to society’s ideals of how they should be as a person.  And I know these friends need to cherished all the more since they seem to be so rare in the gay world we live in.

Now if only I could find a couple more of them.  😉

Anne Rice Quote

4 thoughts on “A Lone Wolf in a Cliquey World

  1. I agree with you observations, very few of my friends read my blog. I have made more friends blogging over 16 months than in the the last decade, may be it is due the limited circles we move in.

    • Yes perhaps that is so. I do have a few friends that read my blog semi-regularly and others that pop in here and there. I’ve made friends blogging as well, but none that I’ve met in person.. yet. 😀

  2. aguywithoutboxers

    It’s always amazed and amused me as to how superficial people can be. I’d prefer to have a handful of truly close friends than dozens of acquaintances who are too pretentious and uncaring. Quality is far better than quantity. Great observation! Much love and naked hugs to you, my blogging friend! 😉

    • Thanks Roger 🙂 Yeah it can be easy to fall into the trap of the superficial people without realising those people aren’t your true friends. It’s when things get tough you see who’s truly there for you.

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