Well, that got your attention, didn’t it? 😉
The other day I was thinking about all the different types of guys I’ve met over the years, be it on dates, shags, or even some mates. And when I thought back on all of them (not that many really.. I think), I kept thinking about how different they are were as lovers or how different their views on sex were.
Sure, it’s a good thing that not everyone has the same ideas about sex, but it can also be somewhat frustrating when it comes to how these guys look on their ‘roles’ in a sexual encounter/relationship and trying to interact with them (in a sexual sense lol).
So… based on this, I came up with a (non-exhaustive) list of different types of lovers I’ve met, been with, or heard about over the years. Each one obviously isn’t based on any particular person, but more of an amalgamation of different guys I’ve met over the years.
1 – The Role Player
This isn’t necessarily about those into actual role-play or S&M-type things, but is more about those who take the ideas of submissiveness and dominance to heart when it comes to their ‘role’ during sex.
There are some guys who call themselves tops who like themselves to be serviced orally and are solely about penetrative sex, but won’t actually do anything other than that to satisfy their partner sexually.
In fact, to them, they think by pounding some guy’s ass repeatedly gives their ‘bottom’ all the pleasure they need.. and perhaps for some guys it does. In the end these guys (in my view) are selfish and believe they bring so much into the relationship just by their mere existence that they don’t need to do anything at all to make their partner happy.
Wow, that sounded a lot more bitter than I meant it too. LOL
2 – The Sex Addict
Well, we’ve all know people like this who are totally and completely obsessed with looking for sex, finding sex, having sex, and then finding more sex. They spent quite a lot of their free time in this pursuit, sometimes to the point where their other relationships (both non-sexual and sexual) could suffer. Of course, that may be over simplifying it, but these people only have one goal – to get laid.
Or do they? Maybe for some of them it’s a matter of them just not wanting to be alone, that they feel a need to have someone with them at all times, which could be symptomatic of something completely different than a ‘sex addiction’.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with this at all. Hell, I’m sure a lot of us have had times in our lives where we become somewhat obsessed with sex or dating or some kind of companionship. I know I have at times in the past, usually when I’m feeling particularly lonely and in need of company.
3 – The Pleaser
These people are the complete opposite of The Role Players, and are more about doing everything to ensure their sexual partners are completely satisfied while not being as focused on their own pleasure. These types of lovers can sometimes be completely selfless and can sometimes give more than they receive.. and for them, that’s a satisfying thing.
For me, these guys can be fun here and there (who doesn’t love to be pampered and looked after lol), but after awhile I would think it would be a bit tedious. If you’re in a relationship with someone, then it should be as equals, not where one is doing everything to satisfy the others needs.
4 – The List Maker
Oh these guys can be absolutely frustrating. LOL These guys are all about making sure all the boxes are ticked – they have a list of things they want to do during sex in a particular order, and for them, it can only be considered good if all of them have occurred. To be honest, this makes sex a bit pedantic and boring if you ask me. Sex should be more fluid and organic, not repetitive.
5 – The Happily Partnered (but Playing)
I’ve written about my views on monogamy and open relations several times before, so won’t get too into this one. But I’ve never understood the need of guys who are ‘happily partnered’ and still feel the need to play the field looking for new lovers.
Of course I do understand that there are many functional open relationships out there, and I applaud them for making it work for them. But I’ve also met guys over the years who were not just looking for a shag, but actually actively looking for a boyfriend on the side. Who would want to actually be the other ‘woman’, so to speak?
Or others who have fallen in love (lust) with other guys outside the relationship. This makes me wonder how happy they truly are within their own relationships if they feel this need to connect on such an emotional level with someone else.
Or maybe I’m just a tad jealous that they can get more than one lover/partner/boyfriend and I’m still struggling to get one. LOL
6 – The Over-Enthusiastic Loner
There’s been a few times over the years where I’ve met some guy, and when we’ve gone back to either of our places, he’s been too happy and excited to be having sex. You know the guy.. the one who never gets asked out on date, let alone gets a shag, so when he actually gets one he tries way too hard to make it memorable. Which it does, but for all the wrong reasons.
And perhaps, to them, this date/shag/whatever is the start of something lovely and wonderful and long term.. Basically they’re getting waaaay ahead of themselves.
I remember one particular guy awhile back when we were started playing around in bed he had the hugest and goofiest grin on his face that it totally turned me off. And it was like he was trying to do everything at once, without taking the time to enjoy the playing itself. This may all sound bitchy, but it reminded me of an over excited puppy..
7 – The Closet-Case
From my experience, I classify these guys in two sub-categories – The Timid Lover and The ‘Anything Goes’ Guy.
The first type of guy is usually so closeted and scared of being labeled as gay that they’re even afraid to try most gay sexual acts. For instance, they won’t kiss another guy, or if they do it won’t be open-mouthed. And god forbid they have anal or oral sex.. or least perform it themselves.
The second type can be fun, but can be dangerous as well since they are willing to do pretty much anything in bed.. including unsafe sex. A lot of the ones I’ve come across have been married (to a woman) and playing with guys is their dirty little secret that nobody knows about.
So.. there’s my list, which isn’t exhaustive. If I wanted to I could have listed probably another dozen types of guys out there we’ve all met, talked to, played with or even dated. I figured seven types was enough.. for now. 😉
If there another type of guy you would have put on this list? Or do you think this list is too limiting and labeling?