More Dating Debacles

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Or perhaps more accurately, I feel like moaning about my love life.. again.  LOL

Not-returning-my-phone-calls-150x150Although I do not know if I could even call it a love life, since that would imply that I’m going out and meeting new guys, cause I’m not really.  Or at least not as much as I would like to.

Click HERE for previous post

The one guy from that previous post that I’d recently reconnected with has basically stopped messaging me, and the one time he did message me in the last month or so it was sent to the wrong person.  I bumped into him the following week in Soho and he didn’t for a moment even apologise for the lack of contact (even after I mentioned it).

I honestly don’t expect to hear from him in the New Year.  As the adage goes, don’t make someone else a priority in your life if they’re not willing to make you one.

I suppose what I’m saying it I haven’t met many guys lately that have struck my fancy, other than in a pure sexual way (which in itself isn’t very often..).

As I’m sure I’ve moaned plenty of times before, there just seems to be too many guys that are willing to chat forever and sometimes do talk about meeting up, but when you actually try to arrange something, they just flake off.  It happens to all of us I suppose, but it has just annoyed me to no end.tumblr_mgdr0wgen01r6rfvzo1_250

For almost a month now I’ve been chatting with a cute slightly-younger Indian guyand we had previously chatted for awhile a year or two ago.  In chat he comes across all strong and willing to be my ‘boy’ (keeps calling me sir for some reason..), talking about what he’s going to do to satisfy my needs … But just like before, it’s all talk and no action.

There’s been a several times when we’ve talked about meeting up, going so far as to say which day (but not setting a time or place) only for me to not hear from him until a day or so afterwards.  He always makes some excuse, usually surrounding work, but doesn’t seem to get that it’s rude to wait until after the fact to cancel on someone.

In fact just yesterday we’d chatted throughout the day about the possibility of him coming over to mine after he finished work.. only for him to never say if he was coming or not, just saying something about problems with trains from Victoria around 7pm or so, and then not messaging me again until midnight, as if it took him 5 hours to get home to Streatham.

Another guy I’ve been chatting with for several years now, with us actually meeting up a couple times, seems to be unable to actually arrange to meet up.  Anytime we chat he goes on and on about how much he likes me and how much he cares about me, but he doesn’t seem willing to do anything about it.

Admittedly, he is a closeted, confused bisexual who is still separated from his wife (he was separated when I first met him 3 or 4 years ago) and gets really down on himself for his attraction to men … mostly because he’s a devout Muslim and can’t seem to find a way to live with both parts of his life together.

Despite my wanting to be there for this guy as a friend and someone to talk to, I’ve unfortunately gotten to the point that if he wants to hang out or meet for dinner then it’s up to him to suggest/organise it, not me.  john-abraham-1In fact, we were chatting online a week or so ago and he suggested we meet for dinner that Thursday after work, but would confirm where/when closer to the date.

It’s been almost 2 weeks and I’ve still not heard back from him.

Umm yeah…

In the last month or so I’ve only gone on one actual date, which was lovely and we’ve continued to chat occasionally online but there’s been nothing planned to meet up again.  Initially I thought there was something potentially there (no, hadn’t booked the tux for the wedding just yet lol), but will have to see if anything comes of it.

I don’t know.. Maybe my mates are right.  I’m too naive and my angelical innocence (as one friend called it) makes me think the best of people when they don’t deserve it.  You’d think after all these years that would have rubbed off and I would have built up a tougher exterior against these types of guys.

Or at least had a better bullshit detector.  😉

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4 thoughts on “More Dating Debacles

  1. thehowlingfantogs

    I really don’t get why people go to all the effort of talking and getting to know someone if they have no intention of meeting up. What do they get from it?

    • To be honest, I don’t understand it either .. unfortunately there are a lot of time wasters out there, or maybe they just keep finding someone sexier to meet up with instead. 😉

  2. Chris + Ernie

    We want to say something, but not sure what to say. I guess it’s the way of technology today, men being so “available” virtually, that it’s gone a muck – so-to-speak. It’s so easy to communicate via text and email and social networks, that most people don’t think second about it in regards to actually meeting at some point. But in the minds of some other guys, maybe they are not online to actually meet up, but to just fulfill a voided emotion. You should find a tactic to discern between these fellas. The convenience of today’s communication technology breeds time wasters. You have to always keep in mind that those types of men – are the majority – in the virtual world. You have to refrain from establishing these virgin virtual relationships. We can’t believe you keep talking to these guys after 2 years or more of texts. At some point, you have to assert discipline, and just stop communicating or replying – especially if they have shown disrespect in the past. Plus, do you really want to be associated with a person if they aren’t able to, at least, show online tactfulness and respect for you? Learn that your time is valuable, even to someone you think is “hot” or “sweet.” Kick them to the virtual curb if they can’t pass your standards. Perhaps you should develop some more effective virtual standards to this type of interaction withy men that is not wasting your valuable life. 🙂 We wish you the best.

    • Thanks for your well wishes and advice. I have met the guy that I’ve known for over 2 years a few times in the past but never with any regularity.. but I agree that I shouldn’t allow myself to be used as some sort of online emotional replacement. Something I’m actively working on 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

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