One of the things most gay men wonder about is whether to sleep with that cute new guy on the first date. It’s an age old question we all have faced at one point or another, and let’s be honest, there just isn’t any one right or wrong answer to that question.
And when I talk about a ‘first date’ I mean an actual date, not just meeting up with some guy for a shag. That’s a whole different type of dating… and for some guys (ok, a LOT of guys) out there, that is all they are looking for, and the meeting for a drink or coffee is just a formality. If they even bother to do that. 😉
To me a date is where you meet in public and spent time getting to know each other before making any decisions about what may or may not come next, be it a second date, just being friends, or yes even spending the night together.
Let’s be honest, we’re all adults (or at least I think all of YOU are hahaha) so let’s not beat around the bush about this – sex is fun, plain and simple. Or at least it should be (and not uncomfortable like my last date ended up – Click HERE to read about it).
Now for me personally, I’ve changed my stance on first date sex many times over the years due to where I am in my life at that point, or sometimes even when it comes to a specific person. And that’s a good thing, and possibly a healthy thing as well, as there isn’t one specific stance on this.
There’s been periods in my life where I’ve only met up with guys for sex ‘dates’ and other times where I won’t even suggest going home with a cute guy regardless of how attracted I am to him. And other times where I’ve just not dated at all and not even had a casual shag for several months at a time (I know.. that’s forever in gay years hahaha).
I know a lot of guys who like to ‘try before the buy’, so will immediately jump into bed with a new hottie to see how he fares in the bedroom department. And why not? Like I said before, sex is fun so no need to avoid doing it and that first time in bed is a great way to see if you have a mutual chemistry and the two of you fit sexually.
Personally I like to get that first proper kiss over with early if I’m attracted to a guy.. but that’s because kissing is super important to me, and I want to make sure they can actually kiss before going further, and not just devour my face to give me a tongue bath *bleh*.
However at the same time, do you really want to get a reputation of being a guy who puts out on the first date, regardless of how you connect with them on a personal level? Sadly, too often a lot of guys out there will still go to bed with someone they’re not really that attracted to personally (and sometimes physically) just because they’d like to get laid.. and yes, I’ve been there myself in the past as well.
However in the end, it’s all about chemistry and what feels right at the time. Maybe after that one date you might think that new guy could potentially be the ‘one’ so could either want to jump right in and see how things go, or perhaps hold off in case you scare them off for being too forward. One can never know which is the right reaction when there’s a strong connection..
All in all, sex on a first date can only be a personal choice. There’s a lot of books, blogs and dating websites out there that try to tell you the do’s and don’ts of dating, but in the end, there is no one specific list of ‘rules’ to follow to make things work.
It’s all about the chemistry.