I’m definitely finding it somewhat interesting how, now that I’ve moved to far South London, my ‘love life’ (for lack of a more appropriate phrase) has seemed to come to stand still. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m going through a slump at the moment, or if it’s just there’s no interested guys.
One thing I have noticed is how there just doesn’t seem to be any cute guys in my new neighborhood. Or at least they’re not on the usual chat and dating apps. 😉
Since I moved to my new place, I’ve only had messages from 2 guys in the area and neither were anyone I’d even consider dating let alone hooking up with (which is all either of them were looking for..).
But the other thing I’ve noticed is how the few guys I’d been sort of seeing or playing with seem to have disappeared now that I’m not living in Vauxhall anymore. In fact I’ve had a couple conversations where they’ve specifically said I now lived ‘too far’ away.
One guy I used to meet all the time for coffee in Vauxhall used to refuse to come to my old place to hang out because the ‘daddies’ were always home. So the first Sunday I was here, I’d invited him to join me as I explored my new area, and maybe coming back to mine for dinner afterwards.
Instead he said it was too far away and would cost too much to travel to the area. Instead he kept insisting I should travel into Vauxhall to meet him for a coffee.. and then got upset because I said no as I was enjoying my afternoon exploring Crystal Palace and the huge park (click here for pics of Crystal Palace Park).
He even went so far to try and make me feel guilty by saying if I was truly his friend then I’d be willing to come see him.. Which I found very interesting when he wouldn’t do the same for me.
But the more I thought about the situation, the more I realised our ‘friendship’ was completely one sided, as he never seemed to be available when I’d suggest meeting up, but always expected me to be available for when he decided he wanted to meet up.
I remember one weekend when I was still living in Vauxhall. I’d messaged him earlier in the day about hanging out that afternoon but never heard anything back so I went ahead and made other plans with someone else. Just before the other guy was due to show up at my place (yes, it was a play-date lol), this mate messaged me that he could meet me in 10 minutes at Vauxhall.. and then got upset when I said I’d made other plans. As if I was cancelling plans on him.
Anyway not shockingly, I’ve not heard from him since that first weekend in my new place. It’s extremely clear to me that he wanted a friendship that was convenient for him, not for both of us.
However I think where I’m going wrong when it comes to dating (or any sort of love life) is that I continuously sit back and wait for the other guy to define our friendship or relationship or whatever it is. And in the past while I’ve waited for them to do exactly that, I sometimes can over-think everything. And when things don’t go how I’d like them to (i.e. a boyfriend or relationship) I get frustrated.
I know what I want, and I’m tired of waiting around for it to happen with someone I want it to happen with.. I’m not asking some guy to marry me after a couple dates, but it just be nice to get to the point where we’ve had a couple dates and want to spend more time together, and not just in a sexual way.
As I’m sure I’ve written numerous times before, I don’t seem to meet anyone that actually wants to date me and I’ve started to wonder if it’s something I’m doing that’s putting them off. That’s not me being down on myself, but trying to analyse myself and how I approach guys.
Or in my case, not approach guys… wonder if I’m too old to become a nun. 😉