Moving Day Mistakes

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I can honestly say I truly detest the process of packing up all your stuff and moving it to a new one.  It’s annoying and frustrating, and takes way too much effort.Frustrated-movers-0ebd3e

Where’s a teleporter when you need one? 😉

Although I don’t officially move into the new place until September 1st, it’s been agreed I could move my stuff in early – and could move in early myself if I wanted to.  To basically have a week’s overlap between the two places so I decided to move the majority of my stuff in over the Bank Holiday weekend.

I should have expected nothing would go according to plan.  Well, what little plan there was anyway.

I’d previously sent out several calls for help on Facebook and spoken to a couple friends I know have cars to see if anyone would be able to give me a hand.  Unfortunately I didn’t get any overwhelming offers to help me move, with the only one who could help (and actually lived in town) was a fuckbuddy of mine.

Of course the lack of suppose, specifically from those friends who have cars, could have been my own fault – at no point did I outright ask any of them if they could give me a hand (mistake #1).  Instead I only got a bunch of well wishes on my move.

I definitely appreciated that mate offering to help me out, as moving from one area to another by myself didn’t sound pleasing at all.  Especially without a car, which mean trying to transport it all by bus.  Luckily there was no furniture to move.

But I believe the problem again is I wasn’t clear or specific what or when I needed the help.  And when things didn’t go as I’d hoped they would, I got upset and was fairly abrupt with him.

I’d messaged him on Saturday asking what time he was going to come by (mistake #2), to which he replied he’d come by after lunch.  I said to him I wanted to get it all done early afternoon, but of course didn’t specify what time (mistake #3).  He restated he’d come by after lunch.

I just want to get this done already..

I just want to get this done already..

Of course ‘after lunch’ could mean different things to different people.  I took it mean he’d be by around 1pm or so and didn’t clarify what time he meant by that (mistake #4).  So of course I had my own idea of when to expect him and started to plan accordingly.

Would anyone be surprised to learn none of it went as I’d expected or hoped?  Yeah, me neither after thinking back on it.

So moving day came along, and I arranged my stuff thinking he’d be by early afternoon like I’d asked him to..

But already I was starting to worry about that, so after 11am I started sending him text messages, and when I saw him logged in on Facebook I sent him a message on there as well (mistake #5 – I should have called him to begin with).

And I got no response.

So of course I started to get flustered about the whole thing and (on the advise of a mate I was chatting to) I booked a cab through Addison Lee to arrive at 2pm .. so my last message to him was that I was leaving by that time (mistake #6 – I should have booked a car to begin with but thought it be too expensive).

So all that did was get me more worked up and angry at him and the situation I’d put myself in.  All I could keep thinking was once again I’d put my trust in someone and they’d let me down as usual.  That once again I could only rely on myself to get things done when and how I wanted them to be done.

Can you tell when my head latches onto a problem it just runs with it?

About 10 minutes before the car was due to show up I finally heard from him, that he was ready to come over and help.  In my state of mind at the time it just sent me in an absolute fury .. and then he called me.angry-and-talking-on-the-phone

Needless to say I completed blasted him (mistake #7 perhaps? Or was it justified?).

I was so pissed off I kept going on about how he’d let me down and wasn’t there for me when he’d promised he would, and that I didn’t need people like that in my life anymore.  And basically told him to fuck off and leave me alone.  He kept going on about how he eats lunch late, and how maybe it’s a cultural difference.. Personally I thought that was a cop out on his part.

Obviously I should have been much more specific from the beginning and set the timeline myself and I shouldn’t have gotten so angry with him like I did .. but at the same time, he was just as unclear as to when he was coming over.  And should have asked me when I needed him there, not giving a vague idea of when he might show up.

Obviously now I’ve got to figure how to apologise to him while making sure he understands where I was coming from as well.

And the crap thing?  I’m not completed finished moving.  *Sigh*  That’ll be done this weekend as I officially move in.

Yep.. totally felt like this at the time :-(

Yep.. totally felt like this at the time 😦

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5 thoughts on “Moving Day Mistakes

  1. Now don’t beat yourself up about this, you did what you needed to do. Maybe it was a wrong call maybe it was the right call. I cannot say. But what I can say is that when you need any form of help friends are rare but when they need anything they make sure you know. I think you are a very independent person and this makes it hard to ask directly for help. I am stubborn and this is my downfall. But focus in the move and the after its all done. At last it’s over and you found a great place as per your prior post. Breathe and good luck. Ivan

    • Thanks Ivan.. it’s more about the reaction I had to the mate who’d offered to help me out. I think I over-reacted, but it’s a bit difficult to get him to understand where I was coming from, what my frame of mind was. Hope he’ll get there eventually…

  2. I can see how you got upset Martin. I think i’d be wanting confirmation of time and when you’re trying to move it’s very stressful and you just want to get the move done so you can start the next phase of your life. I just fell out with a friend for being an idiot and throwing work I’d got him back in my face. I reacted like you did and wondered had I done the right thing but then he’s done it to me before. In your case, maybe a phone call might not hurt because you still need the help..anyway I hope you get it resolved soon 🙂

    • Thanks Mark. I ended up moving most of it by myself, then getting a lift today from my old landlord with the last of it. As for my mate, we’ve talked a bit and I think after reading this he sort of understands where I was coming from, but doesn’t completely understand why I blew up at him. *Sigh* Maybe one day he’ll understand lol

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