Communication is Key


I think the older I get the less patient I am when it comes to people returning phone calls or messages.  In this day and age, it astounds me how people can’t seem to keep in contact with each other, be it by phone, email, text, Facebook, or any other numerous social media outlets.Not-returning-my-phone-calls-150x150

Living in London can make a lot of people quite busy as they all seem to have full diaries, but can it truly make you so busy that you can’t spend a few moments to send a quick ‘Hi’ to a supposedly dear friend?  Why does it seem like everyone these days is waiting for the other person to contact them first?

Personally I’ve never been that good at going out of my way to contact people just for the sake of it, but instead wait until I actually have something I specifically want to say to that person.  Over the years I’ve noticed that, regardless of our friendship or connection to each other, if I don’t make an effort to contact people, they generally don’t contact me.  A lot of the time, it actually feels like I’m chasing people.

Obviously that doesn’t apply to everyone in my life.  An actual friend wouldn’t be tracking who’s contacted whom first, or be overly concerned if they’re the one seemingly always initiating a conversation as long as the conversation was mutual.

Or at least that’s the way I look at it.

There’s been many times over the years when I’m bored or lonely and I’ll scroll through my contacts list to find someone to talk to.. and most of the time I just can’t seem to bring myself to bother people I haven’t talked to in ages.  If they truly wanted to keep in contact with me, then they’d have messaged me, right?

But perhaps that could be one of the major contributing factors to my recurrent loneliness and how I seem to spend all my time alone, regardless if certain people know I’ve got lots of free time on my hands or not.

Or maybe that’s me expecting too much from people.  Or I’m too open about how lonely I get at times, and that comes across as being overly needy so it scares people away.

I suppose maybe I tend to latch onto people too easily/quickly and perhaps that can come across as suffocating or over-eager.  It’s not like I’m trying to get them to be the entire focus of my life (or vice versa), because that would be entirely unrealistic.  But what is it that I’m actually trying to achieve from the ‘friendship’?

Obviously my mate ‘P’ up in Scotland is an exception to all this.. Sure we only see each other a couple times a year, but we’re very much a part of each others lives.  There’s a couple of other people who almost fall into the same category as ‘P’ but not quite.. I know they try to be there for me when possible, but they’re generally busy as they have partners and their own lives, so a bit hard to hang out on a regular basis.

mobile to foreheadBut one thing I’m definitely tired of is bumping into people and they asking ‘Where have you been lately?’.. If they were truly that concerned or curious, wouldn’t they have gotten in contact with me?

Or even better, the ones that mention something I’d posted on Facebook recently as a way to show how they were ‘up to date’ on stuff in my life.  And then want to talk about it.


Don’t get me wrong, I love my alone time as it gives me time to relax and get away from people.  I have no problem doing things by myself, like going for walks, for a coffee, out for dinner or a movie, or any other sorts of things.  Over the years, I’ve gone on holidays alone, to the theatre by myself, and let’s be honest, I’m so used to sleeping alone that I can’t relax enough to actually sleep when I have a ‘guest’ spend the night.  lol

It would just be nice if someone called me out of the blue just to chat once in awhile.  I don’t think that’s too much to ask, is it?

5 thoughts on “Communication is Key

  1. ivansblogworld

    Excellent post and A very true message. I tend to delete numbers from my phone of people who don’t make the effort of returning text messages or bother to answer when you phone them. There is nothing wrong with being alone. Your point about sleeping, well a little secret, William and myself took a good two years before we could actually sleep as in rest and be accustomed to having someone sleeping beside each other. I am a restless sleeper, and William can sleep in. I tend to wake at the first sign of light. Sometimes we just need to day hi to someone without having big news to tell. Glad you back. Ivan

    • Thanks Ivan. I know there’s nothing wrong with being alone, it just gets too lonely at times lol

      And you’ll be happy to know I’ve already pre-written the next couple posts, so you’ll have something to look forward to reading hahaha

      • ivansblogworld

        Looking forward to you next couple of posts. Loneliness is not great I find it bad at night if I am alone. Ivan

  2. aguywithoutboxersRoger Poladopoulos

    Great journal, my friend! Very appropriate and true! By the way, I was just thinking about you this past weekend and why we haven’t seen a post from you lately! Much love and naked hugs!

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