I think the older I get the less patient I am when it comes to people returning phone calls or messages. In this day and age, it astounds me how people can’t seem to keep in contact with each other, be it by phone, email, text, Facebook, or any other numerous social media outlets.
Living in London can make a lot of people quite busy as they all seem to have full diaries, but can it truly make you so busy that you can’t spend a few moments to send a quick ‘Hi’ to a supposedly dear friend? Why does it seem like everyone these days is waiting for the other person to contact them first?
Personally I’ve never been that good at going out of my way to contact people just for the sake of it, but instead wait until I actually have something I specifically want to say to that person. Over the years I’ve noticed that, regardless of our friendship or connection to each other, if I don’t make an effort to contact people, they generally don’t contact me. A lot of the time, it actually feels like I’m chasing people.
Obviously that doesn’t apply to everyone in my life. An actual friend wouldn’t be tracking who’s contacted whom first, or be overly concerned if they’re the one seemingly always initiating a conversation as long as the conversation was mutual.
Or at least that’s the way I look at it.
There’s been many times over the years when I’m bored or lonely and I’ll scroll through my contacts list to find someone to talk to.. and most of the time I just can’t seem to bring myself to bother people I haven’t talked to in ages. If they truly wanted to keep in contact with me, then they’d have messaged me, right?
But perhaps that could be one of the major contributing factors to my recurrent loneliness and how I seem to spend all my time alone, regardless if certain people know I’ve got lots of free time on my hands or not.
Or maybe that’s me expecting too much from people. Or I’m too open about how lonely I get at times, and that comes across as being overly needy so it scares people away.
I suppose maybe I tend to latch onto people too easily/quickly and perhaps that can come across as suffocating or over-eager. It’s not like I’m trying to get them to be the entire focus of my life (or vice versa), because that would be entirely unrealistic. But what is it that I’m actually trying to achieve from the ‘friendship’?
Obviously my mate ‘P’ up in Scotland is an exception to all this.. Sure we only see each other a couple times a year, but we’re very much a part of each others lives. There’s a couple of other people who almost fall into the same category as ‘P’ but not quite.. I know they try to be there for me when possible, but they’re generally busy as they have partners and their own lives, so a bit hard to hang out on a regular basis.
But one thing I’m definitely tired of is bumping into people and they asking ‘Where have you been lately?’.. If they were truly that concerned or curious, wouldn’t they have gotten in contact with me?
Or even better, the ones that mention something I’d posted on Facebook recently as a way to show how they were ‘up to date’ on stuff in my life. And then want to talk about it.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my alone time as it gives me time to relax and get away from people. I have no problem doing things by myself, like going for walks, for a coffee, out for dinner or a movie, or any other sorts of things. Over the years, I’ve gone on holidays alone, to the theatre by myself, and let’s be honest, I’m so used to sleeping alone that I can’t relax enough to actually sleep when I have a ‘guest’ spend the night. lol
It would just be nice if someone called me out of the blue just to chat once in awhile. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, is it?