It’s Depressing To Feel Nothing

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depressionDepression is something that not a lot of people are willing to talk about, or even acknowledge exists.  Despite the fact that it affects most people, either directly or indirectly.

People who are depressed are generally unable to think outside of depression mode at the moment

There are several thoughts on whether or not medication can actually help lift the person out of the depression, or whether it just represses the feelings of hopelessness and utter despair.  For a while anyway.

At least that’s been my experience.  I’ve been on anti-depressants for about a month and a half now.  I have a lot less lows than I had before.. but at the same time, a lot less highs as well.

I recently saw a video on Facebook the other day by Christian Pankhurst that helped put some things in perspective to an extent.

It’s Depressing to Feel Nothing (Click to see the video)

Christian Pankhurst, is a coach, speaker, seminar leader and author. He is a leading expert in a variety of fields including intimacy building, addiction recovery, emotional awareness, male sexuality, couple dynamics, conflict resolution, stress management and heart-centered communication.

In this video he talks about how repressing natural emotions – like joy, anger, sadness, envy and so forth – will literally make you sick and eat you up from the inside.  He goes on to state that all emotions are healthy, but not when you press them down.  That turns them into unhealthy emotions, like rage, need, resentment, depression, panic, etc.

??????????????????????????????????????????????These unhealthy emotions aren’t truly emotions, but are instead repressed energy.

Emotion is the contrast of where you are and where you want to be.

I was especially interested in his section about sadness.  As he puts it, sadness is one of the ways we show empathy with other human beings.  Be that when something doesn’t happen the way you’d expected it to, or when you’ve had a loss of some sort (grief).

And that it’s a natural, and very healthy emotion.

Depression however is not an emotion itself, but is instead the absence of emotion.  It comes from not allowing yourself to feel your grief and by repressing your sadness.  Or even from not allowing you to feel any of the range of natural emotions.  Nothing seems comforting, pleasurable, or worth living for.

depression-tiredIt’s literally depressing to feel nothing.

That nothingness can be all encompassing, and totally takes over your life whether you want it to or not.  Too often, when people are in the depression, they get no enjoyment from the things they used to love.. or sometimes even the people they love or care about.

Instead, the nothingness can make you feel a range of negative emotions:

  • Resentment towards others who’s lives are going well or are out enjoying life;
  • Shame in how your feeling (or not feeling to be exact) and how that makes you react to others who may just be trying to help you;
  • Alienation or isolation from those around you, as you feel like you can’t relate to them anymore;
  • A lack of self-esteem because accomplishments no longer matter, no longer seem genuine, or are overshadowed by negative self-images;
  • Abandonment because you feel irredeemably unlovable despite people trying to help you.

And so forth.  There’s no one specific path a person takes when dealing with depression, as everyone experiences it differently.

Mandela_2_0“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Nelson Mandela

Now that have a somewhat better understanding of how depression occurs and how I react to it, I hope that I can start moving past it.

It won’t be easy or even that quick.  Problem is, time may be running out in a way.. More on that another time.

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10 thoughts on “It’s Depressing To Feel Nothing

  1. My therapist taught me to accept the depression so I’m not dealing with so much anxiety. I’m stable now on meds though, but I don’t feel like they’re repressing feelings of hopelessness and despair. They just keep my brain chemicals balanced so I don’t get sick again and wake up feeling nothing.

  2. aguywithoutboxers

    A very insightful look at depression and how it impacts our daily lives. This is good to know especially when dealing with a loved one who is suffering from depression. Thank you for sharing this!

  3. killercurls

    I’ve been on anti-depressants for about 3 months now. I seem to be crying less now which is good I suppose. Hopefully things will get better soon. If you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here for you 🙂

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