Isn’t it just amazing who you can find on the internet these days?
We’ve all spent a bit of time on Facebook, MySpace (back in the day, not that me or my friends really used it much), Gay.com (is that even still around?), or any other numerous social media sites trying to find those friends from days gone by who you’ve unfortunately lost touch with over the years.
It’s been terrific to get back in touch with old school friends and even relatives you haven’t seen in decades.
For me, the one person I’ve tried to get back in contact with is my old dear friend ‘W’. We used to hang out and party together back in Kingston (talking about 13 to 15 years ago), and he’d occasionally come for weekend visits in Montreal when I’d moved there back in 2001.
I can honestly say, at that point in my life, he was probably one of my closest and dearest friends. We got along really well. enjoyed each others company.. and yes, for awhile early on I did fancy him but we were much better as friends.
Well.. unfortunately, the two of us lost touch about 10 years ago after his last visit to Montreal during Divers/Cite (Gay Pride) weekend after a bit of an argument and possible misunderstanding.
At that time, I was renting a room off of someone near Parc Jeanne-Mance just across from Mount Royal, and although it was fine to have visitors or overnight guests there, I wasn’t very comfortable in that flat. I think I moved out after about 6 months actually.
Anyway, ‘W’ had contacted me to find out if he could stay with me over Pride weekend and we made plans to hang out (ie: party) on the Friday night at Club Unity .. except after we got there, he immediately disappeared onto the dance floor with some of his Toronto friends who’d come for the weekend, and I didn’t find him again until near the end of the night. It wasn’t a big deal, as some of my friends were there as well, so I hung out with them all night.
Over the course of the weekend, I didn’t see ‘W’ at all. At the time, he was into all the big parties so was off all weekend partying with his Toronto friends all night long (considering the regular bars and pubs are open until 3am anyway, that was a lot of partying..).
I briefly saw him on the Sunday evening when he caught up with my friends and I having a couple drinks at Drugstore after the Pride parade… something he was supposed to meet me to watch together. He stayed around for half an hour or so, before heading back out again to party the night away.
When I got home that evening, I found out that ‘W’ had stopped by the flat that afternoon (before he’d met me), got the live-in landlord to let him in, and he chilled out there for a couple of hours having a nap, a shower, etc. I was surprised at this, as ‘W’ hadn’t mentioned it to me.. and it made me a bit upset as well, that he’d been there without telling me or asking if it was ok first.
It would have been one thing if I was living by myself and a friend was staying with me.. I trusted ‘W’ and would have given him a key if I lived alone, but this was a different situation. I didn’t fully trust the landlord yet myself (I had just moved in a month or two prior I think), and he wasn’t someone I hung out with at home or even shared my life with.
Come Monday morning, ‘W’ showed up at my place just before I was heading to work. I didn’t have much time to hang out or anything, so kinda had to rush him out of the flat so I wasn’t late. Outside standing by his car, he said he was exhausted and wanted to take a nap before he started driving home.. in my bed while I went to work.
This pissed me off completely. He wasn’t asking, he was stating that was what he was going to do.. so I blew up at him, and told him if he just needed a place to crash for a couple hours, then there was a sauna a couple blocks away and told him how much it cost. And I didn’t appreciate being used just for a place to crash, as I’d thought we were going to actually spent time together, not him partying all weekend with his buddies from Toronto who saw him more often than I did.
That was the last time we talked to each other..
Until this morning when I got a friend request on Facebook from a name I didn’t recognise. After I’d sent a message asking the person how we knew each other, I saw there was already a message waiting for me.. and it was from ‘W’. Now that was a shock and a half!
Apparently, like me, he’s been trying to find me online over the years as well, but since he doesn’t have Facebook (he’d messaged me through his partner’s account) and I’d changed my email address years ago, he hadn’t been able to find me. Until now.
I’d always felt bad how we’d left things, and regretted not being more open with how I was feeling at that time so we could discuss it. But at the same time, I did feel somewhat justified in how I was feeling.
We’ve now got each others email addresses, so hopefully we’ll be able to maintain some form of contact. I sent him a long-ish email this morning giving him a brief overview of what’s been happening with me past few years, and now I just have to wait and see if I hear back from him or not.
It can definitely be a small small world sometimes, huh?