Hopes & Dreams


Hopes and DreamsWhat did you want to be when you grew up?  How did you imagine your life as an adult?

Did your hopes and dreams become your reality?  Or is your reality completely different, be it for better or worse?

Most of us had pre(mis)conceived ideas of how we wanted our lives to turn out once we grew up and became adults.  We all envisioned the home we would lovingly own.. the partner who’d fill our hearts bursting with love.. the amazing careers that fulfilled us.. the children/pets we’d adore.. and so on.

And as kids we were encouraged to have those dreams.

What a load of crap all that was huh?

I know for sure my life hasn’t turned out like any of that.

You can have a hot lover, a hot job, and a hot apartment, but you can’t have all three at the same time.

Mona’s law, from Armistead Maupin’s “More Tales of the City

I remember reading Maupin’s ‘Tales of the City’ series way back when I was a young, (somewhat) innocent, and relatively newbie gay boy, and that quote has stuck with me all these years..

And perhaps has clouded the way I look at life.  Maybe even has given it a pessimistic point of view on how life should turn out, that nobody can truly have it all.

Or is there more to life and that’s perhaps a too simplistic view of the world? There are certainly a lot of other things that should make you feel happy about your life, however you’re living it.

Maybe it’s more about wanting what you don’t have.  For me, at the moment, I don’t have even one of those things (Click HERE for previous post)..

different directions

Is there a right path to take?

Though there have been times in the past when I’ve had one or two of the three, but never really all three at once.  Just when I think things are going well in one direction or another, something comes along to stop it all.

I know life isn’t that simplistic or so easy, that those things won’t necessarily fulfill you as a person.  And there will always be bumps along the road we call life.  Sometimes things happen that you just can’t have any control over, and supposedly these speed bumps are meant to make you strong further down the road.

Or so everyone keeps telling me.  Lol

Should I perhaps lower my expectations about how I want my life to end up?  Lord knows I’ve worked my ass off to try and get where I want to be in life, but it just doesn’t always turn out how I’d like it.

But is giving up on trying in the first place actually the answer?  Or am I my own worst enemy and regularly sabotage my own progress in life without realising I’m doing it?

Or I could just be over-thinking it all as usual..

I’m not sure I even need a lover, male or female. Sometimes I think I’d settle for five good friends.”

Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin


6 thoughts on “Hopes & Dreams

  1. Wonderful posting. Questions that are required for all of us to ask, it seems. This quote by E.M.Forster gives some direction, perhaps:
    “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us”.
    Keep searching, keep waiting, and KEEP WRITING.

  2. ivansblogworld

    Very real question, and as always a great blog. I am not sure that what we invisioned our life’s to be are what we have. Your cannot live in a bubble, however sometimes you must be greatful for what you have and not for what you don’t have. Someone once told me you can be in love but not loved, you can be more alone when you are with someone, it’s choice we make and they can be the wrong ones. Don’t be hard on yourself as that’s life we never know what tomorrow hold and even less what today holds for us. Really enjoyed this.

    • Thanks Ivan. Though it’s true that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, it is a difference of never being on the other side to begin with and consistently yearning to know what it’s like over there.. Always want what you don’t or never had, right? 😉

  3. ivansblogworld

    I agree with you. As people I think we are programmed to always want more or for use of no better word, covert what others have. It’s the times we live in. Plus as I have got older, I don’t feel the need to wear Label or Branded clothes, etc. as I am now more Comfortable with myself. I however do sometimes feel like an outsider. Life is so complicated.

  4. Great post – in a society where everyone’s encouraged to “think big” and “follow their dreams” your post reminds us that not everyone can have it all – that dreams can’t always be followed for many reasons. What we’re not taught is to be happy with what life brings us and what we already have, instead we’re always encouraged to look at the future and try and get more money, another promotion etc. The thing is that more money won’t necessarily give us more satisfaction. It certainly hasn’t with rich people I have met – and as the rap song says, mo money mo problems! Striving for more in the future can make some people unhappy with their lot in life, restless and dissatisfied. It is good to have goals but we should remember to be grateful for what we have too.


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