A funny thing happened to me the other day while waiting for a friend in Soho for drinks.
I was sitting in the Duke of Wellington pub, facing away from the bar crowd and reading a book on my Kindle, when a guy I didn’t know came to stand beside me. Admittedly I got a couple of odd looks sitting in such a busy pub reading a book, but I didn’t care.. I was only there to meet my friend, not to pick up or cruise the crowd.
Well this guy came to stand beside me (I was sitting on a stool looking out the windows, clearly not interested in what was going on around me) and said the cheesiest line I’ve ever heard: “I like you”.
Really? Isn’t that one of those standardised, pre-written messages you can send online on sites like BearWWW or apps like Growlr? Since when is it an acceptable conversation starter to use one of those lines in real life?
I obviously wasn’t impressed by his opening line, not to mention I didn’t find him the least bit attractive. So being the smart ass I am, I replied with, “Oh really? But you don’t even know me.”
This only fazed him for a brief couple of seconds before he replied that he liked my look. I eventually got rid of the guy only by letting him know I wasn’t there looking for anything in particular other than meeting my friend.
Though being the obsessively nice guy I am, I did thank him for his remarks before he walked away a bit frustrated.
The thing that makes me laugh a bit is how he thought that I would just jump at that opening line, and how he seemed disappointed that I shot him down. As if rejecting his advance was the last thing he expected.
I don’t say that to be mean or snarky, but lets be honest.. who hasn’t been approached by some repulsive guy in a pub/bar and wonder what the hell made him think to approach me? Or are they just playing the law of averages in the hope someone somewhere will say yes, or are just too drunk/desperate to say no.
I have to say though I was impressed at myself for once. Normally when some unattractive guy (to me at least, someone else may think he’s hot) makes a move on me, I’m usually too polite to blow them off or tell them I’m not interested and end up having a conversation with them past ‘Hi’. Which would usually lead me into an awkward situation where, after a bunch of flirting on the guy’s part, I’d have to find some way of letting him know I wasn’t interested.. which isn’t always as easy as ‘I’m not interested’ since I tend to always be too nice for my own good.
Some may say I might have missed an opportunity for a new friend that evening, but let’s call a spade a spade. That guy wasn’t looking for a ‘friend’.. he wanted to get laid, plain and simple.
Maybe this is me starting to shed my ‘Mr Nice Guy’ persona a bit.. lord knows it’s gotten me in more than enough uncomfortable situations in the past.