Abandonment or Over-reacting?


Sometimes I can’t believe how rude and insensitive some people can be towards their so-called friends.

Last night I went to a going away party for one of my old colleagues, as she and her husband are moving to southern Switzerland on Sunday. They are such lovely people, I just had to make sure I got to see them before they left.

So I figured I’d invite my Portuguese friend C along since he works at the same company and we haven’t seen each other in ages.  Even since he moved to North London, and I stopped working at the office in Richmond, we don’t really see other that much, or even hear from each other for that matter.

Surprisingly he actually agreed to come along (usually he’s already got other plans), and C suggested maybe later after we’ve left the party that maybe we could go to Tonker (muscle-bears) at The Eagle in Vauxhall.  I said I’d think about it.

Anyway, the leaving party was a lot of fun and it was great to see some faces I hadn’t seen in ages, though we decided to leave and make our way to Vauxhall around 10:30 or so.

I can’t remember if it was on the way there or if was earlier that he’d mentioned he was going to Tonker because one of his neighbours he’s been doing some music with had invited him .. and it wasn’t until after we got to the club that I found out that the guy was a recent shag or a potential shag (was hard to hear in there).

Once we’d arrived, C texted his ‘friend’ to see where he was, and the reply he got back made it seem like the guy had already left to catch the last tube home.  After that C didn’t seem that thrilled to be there, and even mentioned about heading home after finishing the drink he was working on at the time.

Around 12:30 or so, the neighbour suddenly popped up and said he was headed to the tube right then.. so my friend took off with him, leaving me at the club with barely a goodbye.  That’s right.. he’d invited me out and then abandoned me when his mate was leaving.

Needless to say, I wasn’t much in the mood to stay at the club after that.. I’d only gone because I hadn’t seen him in ages and wanted to hang out.  I’m not a big fan of that place on Friday nights, as it’s generally full of self-absorbed assholes.  (my opinion only..)

So about an hour or so ago, C gave me a call asking how the rest of my night was and seemed somewhat shocked when I got angry about being dumped like yesterday’s trash when his neighbour showed up.  He even went so far to tell me he thought I might be over-reacting about it all.  After all we did hang out for about an hour or so … to which I responded ‘So I’m only good to hang out for an hour or so then? Thanks..’.

In the end I just got so pissed off at his nonchalant attitude towards it all that I told him to ‘fuck off then’ and hung up the phone.  Ok, so I’ve got a bit of a temper..

To me, if I’ve invited someone out, then my plan for the evening is to spend it with that person.  The last thing I’m going to do is drop them if someone else shows up, regardless if it’s about making sure I could get home (that was his excuse for leaving me at the club like that.. because otherwise he wasn’t sure how he’d get home, despite us looking it up on TFL).

And if his only reason for going to the club was to meet up with his neighbour (shag or not), then why the hell did he invite me to begin with?  Or was it more he just wanted someone to hang out with until something better (i.e.: his friend) came along because he didn’t want to be at the club by himself?

So.. I’m asking all of you: Did I over-react or do I have a right to be pissed off at his behaviour? 

I’d love to hear your opinions of this situation.

5 thoughts on “Abandonment or Over-reacting?

  1. "E."

    It is just me but if I go out with a friend I leave with them. And I expect the same. I wouldn’t dump anybody for a shag…

    • He says they didn’t shag last night, which I really don’t care about cause it’s none of my business.. but I too would stay with my friend if I’ve gone out with them, especially if I’d invited them to come out.

  2. Laura :)

    I don’t think you overreacted at all! I’d be pissed off if someone did that to me too! What an ass! Using you as a backup incase his “friend” didn’t show up, when you are clearly an awesome person!

  3. Patrick McBride

    Not an overreaction, choose nicer people to hang out with in the future, let me meet them first and I’ll tell you if they are worthy of your friendship! X

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