More and more I wonder if monogamy is an outdated concept in the gay world.
Or better yet, the profiles that say they’re only online to keep in contact with friends and mates, but they’ve got a bunch of cock or ass shots. If you’re only after friends, why do you need nude pics of yourself online? Since when is how you look naked a prerequisite of friendship?
I’m not judging these guys at all. Sometimes I wonder if I was in a committed relationship if I wouldn’t want it to be an open one as well.. but at the same time, the hopeless romantic in me would want it to be completely committed, meaning no playing on the side.
I’ve been chatting with this one guy ‘J’ who’s been in a committed relationship for 12 years and they’ve got 2 daughters with a lesbian couple. When I asked him about why he was looking for a bit of fun, he said him and his partner no longer have sex.. so I asked why be in the relationship then? He replied it was about commitment, companionship, love, and so on.
It got me thinking about why some people would rather stay in a sex-less relationship instead of going through the headache of being single again. I suppose for some they’d rather stay with what they know instead of being single and having the worry about never finding someone again.
Though to hear some committed guys talk, us singletons have all the fun and we should never bother with a relationship.
Really? How are we having all the fun when it seems all the partnered guys are out there having more fun then us single guys? I know of some partnered guys who get laid more outside their relationship than I do, and I’m single.
I suppose when you’re in a relationship and looking for fun on the side there’s less pressure or expectations than there would be if you were single. I guess you’d be more relaxed about it because at the end of the day you’d still have someone to go home to at night.
It definitely makes being single and looking for dates or whatnot a bit more difficult when you have to wade through these playing partnered guys. Even putting on your profile (like I have) ‘Single guys only‘ doesn’t seem to stop them from messaging you.
The again, according to this post, you’ll be eternally single if you’re fat… but that’s a whole other discussion for another day.
I’m not opposed to a bit of fun here and there with a partnered guy, but it usually leaves me feeling a bit empty as I know, regardless of our connection, there won’t be anything more than just sex with them or a ‘friend with benefits’. So I obviously try to avoid it whenever I can.
Surprisingly though, this past Saturday night I was out for drinks with my friend ‘A’ who’s been in a relationship for 7 or 8 years, and they’re completely committed to each other.. no playing on the side at all. Now I think this is amazing to hear that there are still some guys out there willing to be monogamous to each other (and I told him as much)..
But it didn’t stop me from flirting with him all night. Nothing happened of course, but I couldn’t help myself.. he’s just really cute. lol
Maybe because I’ve never been in a committed relationship I find it harder to understand where these guys are coming from, and truly don’t have the slightest clue as to what it’s actually like to be in their situation.
Maybe I will understand.. one of these days.