A trip towards friendship

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As I write this, I am sitting on the train back to London from Edinburgh (pronounced Ed-in-burra, as I was so repeatedly reminded), where I’d gone up to spend the last couple of days before Christmas with my online friend Paddy.

Paddy and I have been chatting online for about a month or so now, and we’ve gotten along famously.  We would spend hours each night chatting away about this and that, never really looking at the time.  We’d chat on Eurowoof (where we first met), Facebook, texted each other, and especially on MSN web-chat, where we not only saw each other live, but were able to hear each other too.

And, of course, it definitely helped that we were completely hot after each other’s asses.

So obviously there was this expectation that not only would we be spending a lot of our time in bed, but that we could possibly be working towards something more than just friendship.  We’d talked several times about what could come out of this meeting, with both of us leaning towards a potential romance/relationship.  It even got to the point where we had to tell each other to back off a bit because it was getting way too intense for an online friendship.

Anyway, the way this was supposed to originally come about, was Paddy was going to be coming to London for a week in January to visit with some friends, and we were going to meet up for a drink or two, and see what came out of it.  Instead, he had to cancel his trip because of work, and said he wouldn’t be down until Easter instead.

Well, for once I was a bit impulsive and decided I was going up to Edinburgh to see him (he lived just outside the city, but works in town), and I completely shocked both of us by booking a train ticket and reserving myself a hotel room for 3 nights.  Holy crap!!

Anyway, the weeks up until my trip to Edinburgh was fraught with each of us flip-flopping on whether I should even be making the trip, discussions about money and how I shouldn’t be spending it foolishly, about how nervous each of us were about meeting the other, and loads more conversations about what we wanted to do to each other once we met.  Needless to say, both of our expectations were really, REALLY high.  Talk about scary!

So the day came and off I went on the train to Edinburgh.  It was a pretty uneventful trip, other than the girl behind me constantly chatting loudly on her mobile, and I spent the time between dozing, looking at the beautiful scenery, and listening to my iPod.  The closer I got to Edinburgh, the more nervous I got.  What the hell was I doing, travelling over 500 miles to meet some guy from online?!?!?!

Upon arrival, I was one of the first off the train, and I went to the main concourse of Waverley station… only to stand there and wonder where the hell Paddy was!!  I was there for a full 10 minutes waiting, trying to call and text him on his mobile, before he walked up to me.  Damn he was cute!

I won’t bore you with the minute details, but we eventually found the hotel (got a little lost..), checked in, and found our way to the room through the maze of hallways…. where we didn’t know what to do with each other.  We both stood around, nervous to make a move on the other, until I eventually cornered him and went in for the first kiss.  Holy shit!!  It was such a great kiss that we ended up on the bed, half undressed, making out like a couple of teenagers.  It was a great start to the weekend.

Instead of staying in the room and going to town, we decided we’d go get a bite to eat (chippies with brown sauce… my new fav), and get a couple of pints into us to calm our nerves.  We went to a gay pub called New Town Bar, which had a slightly older cleintelle, but it was Paddy’s favorite in Edinburgh, so I didn’t complain.  It was quite comfy with a friendly staff, good beer on tap, and decent music playing all night.  It got a bit busier later in the evening, but we didn’t notice – we’d chatted the entire evening, but eventually we were all over each other, not noticing anyone around us.

Now.. I will skip over the gory details of what happened next.  I wouldn’t want to offend anyone with my graphic retelling…. or embarrass myself and Paddy.  Let’s just say the evening ended quite well.  LOL

The next day, after laying in well later than originally planned (again, damn censorship… heheh), we got ready and left to go do some sight-seeing around Edinburgh, with our main goal being to explore Edinburgh Castle, high up on the hills overlooking the city.  Over the course of the day, there were a few uneasy silences (or at least I felt there were), some joking around, and a lot of walking – my legs still hurt from all of it!

But what also happened is we were actually being ourselves with each other, not the usual ‘date-face’ we all put on when spending time with someone new…. and that was our downfall.  Neither of us would admit it until the next day, me more reluctantly than him, but we became friends over the course of that day, which meant no more fooling around and no opportunities for romance.  Damn, I hate it when  that happens!!

We spent the rest of our time together in Edinburgh doing a bit more sight-seeing (ok, I was playing tourist, he was humoring me), a bit of shopping, loads of drinking, and massive amounts of joking around.  Well… more like Paddy poking fun at how I was saying Edinburgh (I know… don’t pronounce like Marlboro.. let it go), some crap about the wardrobe in the room (PLEASE, don’t ask!!!), and all sorts of other shit.

Now, don’t be thinking Paddy a bad guy for bugging me, he’s actually quite lovely and told me from the outset that if he didn’t like me, then he’d be ‘nice’ to me, so his ribbing is him showing how he feels.  I think… my head is still a bit done in from all of it, but I’m sure I’ll get over it.

So, will Paddy and I actually be friends after all this?  I sure hope so.  Regardless of what transpired between us romantically and sexually, we were already friends of sorts, so this is the best case scenario if nothing happened to improve our love-lives.  Will it be easy?  Of course not, because over the past month or so we’ve become quite entrenched in each others lived, with each of us telling people in our lives about the other one.  And, yes it is disappointing, something we both feel about all of it, but at least we’ll still be part of each others lives, even more so once he actually moves back to London, despite us still finding the other really attractive.

Oh well…now it’s back to London and back to looking for love in all the wrong places (or so it seems at times, hehehe).  We’ll see Paddy again at Easter when he comes down with his best friend Steph, who’s also gay…. and he’s cute too.  May just have to make a play for the friend instead.  LOL

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