A Simpler Life

I’m not sure about any of you, but sometimes I wonder if maybe my life would have been better (read: easier) if I could have been satisfied living a simpler life.

I mean being satisfied with living a simple life, where there was no desire to go forth into the world or improve my station.  I mean being happy with what I have and where I am, without wanting more.

Hmm.. not sure if I’m explaining that clearly.  Let me see..

Ever since I was a small child, I always had dreams of living in the big cities, having some amazing career, and just enjoying what the world has to offer.  I used to look at tv shows and movies, or pictures in magazines and fantasize about visiting and living in all these amazing places around the world.  Especially Europe.

I knew from a young age there was no way I was going to stay in my little small town, cause it just wasn’t going to give me the life I wanted to live.

And that’s not even looking at the gay factor.

My home town is very much a factory and farming town (despite being over 45k in size), where the main place to shop is a huge WalMart, and the social scene mainly consists of karaoke, country and titty bars.  It’s a place you go to live to raise your kids or to retire.

Definitely not much there for a relatively young (40′s the new 30, right?) gay man who’s used to being able to do what he wants, when he wants, without having to drive several hours to do it (it’s approximately 3 hrs either way to Toronto or Montreal.. and I don’t drive).  No real culture other than local history, the annual diversity festival (or whatever it’s called), the community theater, and driving around at Christmas looking at the lights on the houses.

But why do I bring this up?  How is this even a concern, especially since I’m living in London and haven’t lived in my home town in about 15 years or so?

Well.. with all the troubles I’ve been having with finances and finding a job over the past while, it’s actually been suggested by my parents that I move back to Canada to regroup.  Which would mean moving back to my little home town to stay with family until I got on my feet again.

As much as I love my family and it would be amazing to spend more time with them without it being a massive trip to visit, I honestly can’t see myself going back there for anything other than a visit.

And as I discussed with my sister around the same time, if I went back there to live I’d be absolutely miserable there. And she agreed with me.

I could totally see what would happen – I’d move back there, find a job (as if it’s easier to do so in a small town than a big city..), then a flat to live in, and next thing I know a couple years have passed me by and I’m still there just working and keeping my head above the water.  And miserable because I don’t have a social life, let alone a dating/sex life.

Yeah I know, that’s a fairly pessimistic view of the situation, but I think it’s fairly accurate.  I was lucky when I was in my early 20′s to have met an amazing group of gay and lesbian friends, several of whom have become life-long friends I still keep in touch with.  But like with all small towns, most gay men and women tend to flock to the big cities to be part of the communities there, and the safety of being able to walk around town with friends or a partner without worrying if you’re going to be gay-bashed.

But all of it has made me wonder WHY I couldn’t have been happy living the small-town life.  Why do I continuously want to get more out of life and live in the world, instead of just being satisfied with what I might have had living there?

Or perhaps it’s time to give up on my dreams?  To forget about where and how I want to live my life, and just find a place in my home town to sort of call home, and stare out the window trying to forget about all the places around the world I haven’t seen yet.

Could I truly go back to that life?

I’m not saying my life in London is amazingly perfect or anything, but at least it’s my life and I get out of it what I put into it, broke or not.  And sure, I’ve mentioned previously about how I want to leave London, but I don’t want to leave the UK.. It’s home to me now, this is where I want to live.

Shouldn’t that matter most of all?  Or is that just me being selfish?

Another Step Forward for Marriage Equality

That’s right, ladies and gents.. the Marriage (Same-Sex Couples) Bill has passed it’s third reading today in the UK House of Commons.  The Bill will extend the legal form of marriage to lesbian, gay and bisexual people and permit religious denominations to celebrate such marriages should they wish.

And it didn’t just pass by a narrow margin either – 366 for to 161 against.

A nice big, overwhelming majority.  Just like it should be.

Of course, it isn’t finished just yet.  Next the bill would have to pass through the committee and reading stages with the House of Lords.  If passed by them, then it goes to the Queen to give her Royal Assent on the bill.  Once she has signed it, it becomes law.

As far as I am aware, as long as it passes the House of Lords, there shouldn’t be any issue with her Majesty signing the bill.  Back in March, she signed a charter in support of gay rights and gender equality within the Commonwealth, which (to me at least) shows her willingness to protect the rights of all of her subjects, regardless of their situation, gender or who they love.

It’s also great to see an organisation such as Stonewall (http://www.stonewall.org.uk) at the forefront of the debate.. though it really isn’t surprising.  For those who’re unfamiliar with them, they are a gay, lesbian and bisexual charity.

Actually they are THE gay, lesbian and bisexuality charity in the UK, and are always leading the way for LGBT rights.  They also do a lot of work internationally by lobbying the UK government and European Union to use their influence through diplomacy and international aid programmes to support gay equality globally.

In fact, their ‘Some People Are Gay, Get Over It’ campaign spread around the world, spawning many imitations in multiple languages.

For more information about Stonewall’s campaign for equal marriage visit www.stonewall.org.uk/marriage

Stop The Hate, Free Kate

I found this article on a friend’s Facebook wall this morning.. and I couldn’t be more shocked and disgusted by some of the actions taken against this 18 year old teenager, Kaitlyn Hunt.

Read the full article HERE.

From what I’ve read about this story, Kate (as she’s known to her friends) seems to be a good student – cheerleading, basketball, chorus, good grades, and was even voted ‘most school spirit’.

However instead of preparing for graduation and life beyond high school, she’s fighting a battle against expulsion and bigotry.  She’s been charged with two felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery on a child 12 – 16 years of age, and may go to jail instead of college.

Why?  All because she was dating a 15 year old girl she’d met on the basketball team.

According to the above article:

‘..the relationship caused waves at the school from the start. Kaitlyn was dropped from the basketball team because the coach feared a same-sex relationship would bring unwanted “drama.”

‘Then the family was shocked and devastated when police came to their home in February to arrest Kaitlyn. She was charged with two felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery on a child 12 – 16 years of age.

‘Kaitlyn was 18 and her 15-year-old girlfriend’s parents pressed charges.’

That’s right, boys and girls.  Instead of dealing with the fact that their 15 year old daughter was dating another girl, they instead lashed out and are trying to ruin Kate’s life.  All because they’re too closed minded to realise that their daughter likes another girl.

Initially the other family petitioned the school and got Kate expelled weeks before graduation, but a judge agreed she could return as long as she didn’t have contact with the other girl.

However she is still facing these charges, though was offered a plea-bargain – house arrest for two years, plus a year of probation.  Meaning, if she’d accept it, she’d have to hold off entering the next stage of her life, and the charges would stay on her permanent adult record.

This is completely and utterly wrong on many different levels.  Regardless if Kate is 18 years old or not, she’s still a kid in high school.  How could it possibly be wrong for her to fall for someone on her basketball team.. and only 3 years younger.  That may seem like a lot in high school, but in the real world, 3 years is nothing.

But it’s also the fact that the other family and the school were willing to place the ‘blame’ entirely on Kate’s shoulders, as if she ‘forced’ the other girl into the relationship.  But as well, the school hasn’t done anything to stop the homophobic slurs written about Kate in the school lavatories (that her younger sister has had to see).

It still shocks me, in this day and age, how some people can still be so close minded about something like sexuality.  We all know (most) kids experiment at some point in their adolescence, be in high school or perhaps as late as college, because it’s a natural thing to question who you are and try to figure it out for yourself.

Admittedly dating and experimenting are different things, but I’ve know people who’ve ‘experimented’ with their sexuality by dating people of different genders to see which felt right.  And that’s ok, because in the end that’s what life should be about, finding out what works for you.

There was no harm in these two girls dating each other.  They weren’t hurting anyone, nor were they hurting each other.

The excellent human rights website Change.org has started a petition to the Indian River County State Attorney’s Office to stop the persecution of Kaitlyn for being in a consensual same-sex relationship (the other girl has openly stated this, despite her parent’s position).

If you agree she shouldn’t be prosecuted for loving another girl, please click through the link to sign the petition.

Click here to sign the petition

 

First World Problems

Probably the only somewhat positive thing to being unemployed for so long is it’s given me a slightly different perspective on life.  Or at least it’s made me look at how other people react to things in their lives a bit differently.

We all see our friends’ Facebook updates, exposing both the good and bad things going on in their lives (some just don’t have a filter or know when to stop..), mostly wanting others reading their statuses to agree with them or give them kind words to make them feel better.

But what about those who complain about the stupidest things?  Things that, in the sense of the real world, really don’t matter and aren’t truly worth bitching about?

Of course, I’m just as guilty of doing it just like anyone else.. we’ve all done it at some point, complained about something so trivial by making it sound like it’s the end of the world cause it did/didn’t happen.  Or that whomever is making this thing happen is ruining your life by doing it.

You know, things like:

Complaining that your regular restaurant doesn’t have any tables or is out of that dish you really wanted.

Complaining about your job because you have to work late or on a weekend.

Not having enough room on your work computer’s desktop.. so asking IT for a bigger or second monitor.

Not being able to get the treadmill by the window.

Wishing you had a garden or balcony when it’s nice out, instead of having to walk down the street to the park.

Wishing you could go back to being flaky and irresponsible when you’ve got too many things on your plate.

They changed the layout of Facebook again.

Complaining you can’t get laid/dates when you’ve got a loving partner at home.

Note: I’m not putting these here to call anyone out, just to use as examples.. and some are my own, or made up/reworded for this posting.

You get the idea.

None of us truly need reminding that there are people out there less fortunate than ourselves.  People whose biggest worry each day is whether they’ll have food or water to survive, let alone a roof over their heads.

Of course being in the situation I am financially, I look at some of these statuses and can’t help being slightly jealous – these people can afford to live the lives they want, how they want.  Not to mention that they’re out there enjoying life, and I’m sitting at home bored out of my mind most of the time cause I can’t justify spending money by going out.

And no, that’s not me moaning about my situation, just stating a fact.  Several months ago I had to stop any kind of addition expenses, money for things I enjoyed but ultimately didn’t really need to live my life.

But it’s made me realise how much we all spend on stuff we truly don’t need, or sometimes even actually want.. We do it because it’s part of society and others around us are doing it (or so we tell ourselves..).  Call it peer pressure if you will..

Ok.. I admit it.  I wish these were things I could complain about.. Because if these are the worst problems I had to complain about, then my life must not be so damn bad.

I’m sure I’ll get back there.. one of these days.

To put things in perspective, check out part of Louis C.K.‘s 2011 comedy special, ‘Hilarious’, where he talks about how amazing things like mobiles and flying truly are.

Enjoy

 

Up In The Air – 30 Seconds to Mars

Recently I saw the video for 30 Seconds to Mars’s new single.. and like some of their previous videos, it’s like a mini-movie.

http://thirtysecondstomars.thisisthehive.net/tour/

According to Digital Spy:

Bartholomew Cubbins has directed the short film, and the clip includes allusions to the title of 30 Seconds to Mars’ next album Love, Lust, Faith and Dreams.

‘Up in the Air’ had its premiere 230 miles above Earth in co-operation with the SpaceX cargo mission.

Love, Lust, Faith and Dreams will be the group’s first album since 2009′s This Is War, which went platinum in the UK and gold in the US.

Note: Apparently ‘Bartholomew Cubbins’ is an alias for lead singer Jared Leto.

I first started listening to this band with the release of their second album A Beautiful Lie.  Their song “The Kill” was just amazing to me, and loved how visual the band was in their videos, especially for this song which was clearly inspired by the movie ‘The Shining’.

A lot of people over the years have been quick to dismiss this band due to their lead singer’s movie/acting career.  Jared Leto has been known for his acting in such projects as ‘My So-Called Life‘, ‘ Urban Legend‘, ‘ Requiem for a Dream‘, and the upcoming ‘Dallas Buyers Club‘, his first film in about 4 years.

However, when he first moved to Hollywood back in 1992, it was to pursue a career in music intending to take acting roles in the meantime.  As most will recall, his break-out role was as the handsome, dyslexic slacker on ‘My So-Called Life‘.

According to Leto’s IMDb page:

Leto’s work was slowly becoming recognized in Hollywood, and he continued to find work in film. In 1998, everything turned for the better on all fronts. This was the year that Leto founded the band, 30 Seconds to Mars, with his brother, Shannon Leto, as well as Matt Wachter (who later left the group), and after two guitarists joined and quit, Tomo Milicevic was brought in as lead guitarist and keyboardist.

Enjoy

When Will This End…

Those who’ve been popping by my blog fairly regularly have probably noticed a distinct lack of posts in the past few weeks.

Well, without meaning to, I’ve taken a it of a break.. This was neither planned nor desired to be honest.

I just couldn’t think of anything to write about.  Or more accurately, I didn’t have the drive or desire to write about stuff going on at the moment.

I had ideas of what I wanted to write about, but couldn’t bring myself to actually put pen to paper.. or in my case, fingers to keyboard.

Most of the issues I’m having in real life easily stem from my lack of work.. and the anxiety, depression and lack of self-esteem that comes along with it.  As it stands right now, I’m now in my 9th month of unemployment.. And I have no clue when this will end.

And end it has to, one way or another, because I can’t keep going on like I am.  Due to a lack of income, I have no life and am constantly scrounging to save as many pennies as I can.  I could go into further detail about my financial issues, but I’d rather not.  Some things should stay private, I think.

Because of these feelings I’ve been having over the past while, I went and saw my doctor who ended up prescribing me something to help my moods and feelings of hopelessness.

And it is this prescription that has been making me feel completely .. flat.  In the 3+ weeks I’ve been on this medication, I can honestly say I feel absolutely no passion or desire for anything I actually enjoy, and instead spend most days just marking time, waiting for something to happen, like a call about a job.

Not much of a life, if you ask me.

And don’t get me started on how it’s completely killed my sex drive. 

But when I went for a follow up the other day, the doctor decided that perhaps feeling ‘flat’ was better than always feeling down… and extended the prescription for another couple months.

The only other suggestion she gave was to exercise more as this will help me feel better.. Which I was expecting after I noticed a fairly significant look from her at my belly.  As if losing a bit of weight will solve my job issues..

I don’t know.. perhaps some exercise would be a good thing, weight aside.  It would at least give me a reason to get out of the house on a regular basis.  And there are only so many times you can just ‘go for a walk’.

As it stands right now, I barely leave the flat at all these days.. mostly cause I generally just have nowhere to be.  My few good friends are well aware of my financial issues, so tend to not invite me out anymore.  Which leaves me sitting at home doing nothing all day, every day.

Or when they do invite me out, I feel bad.. like I’m a charity case or something.  I’m probably over thinking their reasons for buying me a drink or having me over for dinner..

I do try to get out for a bit every couple days, usually to just sit in the park and read or down by the Thames River.  I know there are free things you can do in London.. but it’s not as fun by yourself, especially if you’re limited to something within walking distance so you don’t spend money on transport.

*Sigh*

It’s been a very very long time since I’ve found myself in this kind of situation, probably close to 10 years now.

I just really need for this to change asap.. I want to get back to living my life, the way I want to live it.  To have that freedom of being able to go to the movies or out for dinner and now having to worry if it’ll ruin my budget for the week/month.

I really need to get back to just being me again.

*fingers crossed*

TOM – Movie Teaser

So, apparently they’re doing a bio-pic on the life of the artist known to the world as ‘Tom of Finland‘ .. it will be filmed in 2014, and released in 2015.

Somehow unfamiliar with Tom of Finland’s work? Read the film’s YouTube summary:

Until the year 1971, being gay in Finland could land you in jail for years. There was a boy born in 1920.

In his childhood, he drew pictures of naked men. While drawing, he wore only leather boots.

As a young man, he fought in the war and had sex with his fellow soldiers, both Finnish and German.

During his adulthood, he lived a double life. By day, a talented advertising artist and a pianist, by night a genius creator of erotic drawings.

We remember him through leather, huge muscles, even larger cocks and humour — empowering the masculine gay man. We know who Tom of Finland is. Now meet Touko.

The clip below is more of a teaser for the film than anything, since it hasn’t even been filmed yet.

But it will definitely be interesting to see behind all those iconic pictures and learn the story behind the artist themselves.

Enjoy

Kristen Bell’s Sloth Meltdown on Ellen

I saw this clip earlier on Single Dad Laughing and thought it was funnier than anything.. so just had to share it here as well.

Actress Kristen Bell was on the Ellen show recently, talking about the birthday surprise she got.. and the subsequent meltdown she had cause she was so excited.

LOL

Gotta love an actress who doesn’t taken themselves too seriously and is willing to share this on national tv.

Enjoy

Friday Chuckle

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook.. and I thought these stories were too funny not to share.

Half Dozen Nuggets

Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.  I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

6 of one, half a dozen of the other..

‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter.

‘You don’t?’ I replied.

‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply.

‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’

‘That’s right.’

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

(Unbelievable but sadly true… Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn’t have any, only Splenda and sugar.)

Bar Code

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the ‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.  Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this is?’

Could they eat any more crap?

I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’

She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.

( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)

Online Shopping

Where do I swipe my card?

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM ‘thingy.’

(Keep shuddering!!)

Extra Batteries

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ‘Do you need some help?’ I asked.

What’s the key for?

She replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’

‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked.

‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk….’

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

Making Photocopies

How many copies does she need?

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’

‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the secretary told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

Ants

They’re a delicacy right?

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.

The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine.

The mother says, ‘I just gave him some ant killer……’

Dispatcher: ‘Rush him in to emergency right away’

Don’t laugh….it is all true…

Hope you all have a terrific Friday and weekend.

Much Ado About Nothing – Official Trailer (2013)

Now this is an intriguing adaptation, by none other than Joss Whedon.

That’s right.  The creator of  Buffy the Vampire Slayer (both original movie and tv series) and director of Marvel’s The Avengers is tackling William Shakespeare.

This version of Much Ado About Nothing is set in modern times.. or as IMDb describes it:

A modern retelling of Shakespeare’s classic comedy about two pairs of lovers with different takes on romance and a way with words.

Not surprisingly, Whedon has populated this film with some of his regulars – Nathan Fillion (Buffy & Firefly), Alexis Denisof (Buffy, Angel, & Dollhouse), and Clark Gregg (Avengers and the upcoming Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) … just to name a few.

But that’s not a criticism at all.  These actors definitely fit into this film, per the trailer below.  It looks fast-paced, fun, sexy, and thoroughly enjoyable.

Upon first viewing of the trailer I was like ‘what??’.. but then once you get used to the feel of the clip, it kinda works.

It’ll be interesting to see how this film does when it arrives in theaters early to mid June 2013.